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for even as i wander, i'm keeping you in sight

4/20 c1 44smuffly
I was almost nervous to read this, after the description, but I trusted your reassurance (especially after your other break-up fics) and took a deep breath... Shuuuliet, it was marvellous. I nearly cried at the end. (What a way to start the day.) It starts in a rational, quiet way, with Juliet trying to move on - and her reasoning is perfectly sound, of course - but gathers to an amazing finish, with everything from the flashback onwards gripping me so much that I forgot I was reading a story. Part of me would love to see the whole thing from Shawn's point of view (not a hint, don't worry) because your little comments about the way he was behaving were so telling (like the 'dog with its tail between its legs' analogy), and I kept imagining how he must have been feeling, especially after reading your description of their conversation about Abigail. Nice to have that dealt with, by the way, and making it the catalyst for their eventual reunion is so clever. I loved the scene between them when Juliet finally comes to see Shawn at his new home. The quiet way he comforts her, the pillow, the tentative question... it's all so well done. At last, Juliet realises the thing that we have known all along. They love each other so deeply that there's no question - they belong together and it's just not right when they're apart.

I did feel sorry for Andrew. He sounded like a really decent guy. And your description of how Shawn felt when he was with Abigail - that made sense too. It's certainly how I've always seen it, and fits everything we saw in the show.

I also loved your use of the Apple Jacks t-shirt. That's a favourite moment of mine, and it fit so well here, in a kind of catalyst-before-the-main-catalyst role that was very visual and effective.

Lassie's quiet attention is lovely too - he's not a key part of the narrative, but his support is right there in the background, and important. Your nod to Woody was funny. I re-watched those recently and I always feel so sorry for 'homeless' Shawn. It made me smile when you mentioned it here!

Going back to Juliet's rationalisation at the beginning - I found it interesting that you included Ewan in with Frank. You're right, of course. Ewan is kind of the mid-way point between Frank and Shawn, I think. Frank is the charming conman who almost believes his own lies, but who uses deception willingly and repeatedly for his own gain. Shawn told the psychic lie to save himself, certainly, but used all the subsequent lies as a way to do good, and incidentally created a job that suits his peculiar skill set. Ewan lied as part of HIS job, because he was following orders - also believing that he was doing the right thing, but to the point that he would actually shoot a man and deceive his sister for what amounts to a fairly flimsy reason, which is far more serious and somewhere that Shawn (and Frank, to be fair) would never go (as we see when Shawn tries so hard to stop him).

There were some lovely lines in this story, but I think this might be my favourite (hard to choose, really):
'It's always been him - Shawn and his care and his love, and his beautiful heart, that he'd done his best to open to her, even if he couldn't do it quite all the way. Somehow, sitting here with him now, she doesn't think they'll have that problem again.'

I also loved the way he threw the pillow when he didn't need it anymore...

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