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5/17 c6 cJ
Hey I really like this story! Please keep writing! Also, why is the name Moirai, just out of curiosity?
5/13 c5 Debbie Hicks
6. Blood Type then suddenly Grabbed him used my powers born with Teenaged Ocampan ears wrre opintred shell-shaped with arched but slanted eyebrows then Marked me With alien venom the to bless me was a curse of a Self-Densive Mental and Physical shield with my own then Bitten Kain/best friend/aliens/Vulcan young ones ripped took a life tyhe by blood bonded thed Guard good you die the tore heads with the Cullens ripped heads completely then too late with two Executed punished suddenly felt a urge a need then suddenly fleeting fingertips touched Rose's face the ritual chant was behaving like T'Pau with long hair with cropped bangs Rose, your mind to my mind your thoughts to my thoughts our minds are merging our Minds are one a heavenly telepathic power cured her of his attack permamently like her on the big screen then nuked freely both but brought there good these one she is not human from the planet Vulcan has a power to mind meld and to shield from each alien Snakes good you fourteen die with them executed then lost as all of blood good they are Dead forever then suddenly myself heal faster of it Alice she touched my own face preformed her very first Vulcan mind meld she's Telepathic by touch can sense and feel via her powers emerged then Blew from the husks of us/they to they vanished good destroy them then then took from here gasp her ears are pointed so theirs oh my god with the pack's we need witnesses name Sch'n T'Gai T'Lar daughter of Mestral her eyebrows are slanted she's Vulcan hair is darker than brown nice bangs thank you you can't age by now it's protection we are Mated for life My Voice sounded so cold but Kolinahru as it was the dawn of our days it it will be as all of our tomorrows as the time of the beginning to you my husband I Concesrate as that who am I fingers to his touched Alice who is she she is very lovely T'Lar is my wife in a classic Amok Time sound thanks Mom good god man Crap left home to join you on your journey.
5/12 c5 Debbie Hicks
6. Blood Type then Got Changed then tore it Venom from alien snakes each both the topre it blood bonded Best friends drained as all of permamently to Kain to as all of college students then to aliens/Vulcans slips up taken a life the Volturi found me killing people good you Isabella die to the brig with you exposed good then screaming chained good toe heads with others young ones good with his with the Cullens good tore heads permamently then Executed from here both brought there good each both alien venom took people's souls as well found us/they again good where's her sire then take care of that then Killed by them beheaded good brought there good they are Punished are Lost but out of time and space with there as well with mated women are nuked there blew them as all of Volturi guards bitten but rest found them ripped them into pieces bring them she was bitten by snakes what but has Powers good with these fourteen are guilty of treason and lies of her heirtage slew Wild Vampires is a Vampire slayer with Prophetic dreams and powers then wit these then Lost from here good we forbidden them to live on Campus are nuked from to as all blown bring them there good never are alive then suddenly myself was Venomous by now Alice she's not human is not living anymore paler skin with Falkor's red eyes permamently my throat is Scorching flames gasp she's not living hunts Animals oh my god turned them they are what not humans then too late Nulled freely of husks then myself looked clinically dead was Sleepless of the host was Alert by now for weeks she's with Bright golden eyes so they are not humans nuked freely each both but vanished good what converting as Vegetarians then more than as all of Volturi guards then too late nuked with five good then beheaded then Nothingness good these are lost to around the world's are put to sleep had help kids nuked with they blown up with they they never are with parents again vanished again as all to few/remains are put to death good then Too late blown up in time was without blood for days suddenly became Starfleet stronger three times greater physically was still more venomous burned blood became a ordained Vulcan priestess born with teenaged Ocampan ears had slanted eyebrows Alice she's Vulcan gasp she's not human at all oh no you ok the ritual chant the words touched her face finally removing her problem cured her permamently like T'Pau cured T'Pol softer but Accented Seleyan words and Vulcan tongues suddenly cold words intoned the words Rose, your mind to my mind your thoughts to my thoughts a holy but angelic but more swirling powerful but stronger heavenly alien energy but fleeting fingers slowly mastering my telepathic powers was a Touch-telepath by Psychic touch was a Syrannite followed the true teachings of Surak so they were now at peace then nuked freely so they both vanished good what are they not humans born with pointed ears and slanted eyebrows then ripped good never are alive at all then too late killed then Alice she's from Mt. Sel;eya has this power thunderous but echoing name Sch'n T'Gai T'Lar daughter of Mestral gasp they did this top us/as all of them immgrated they are within your own mind are in a hive mind no way.
5/5 c2 1LogladyJ
Love your rewrite! It's so exciting to see it updated and I'm really looking forward to what you're going to add in!
5/5 c3 GottaLoveFanFiction
Good writing but too much they are still acting like they are in high school. College, 21,means they all have their majors picked, Mike won’t struggle, Bella would have asked Edward back what is his major? You have her drinking, is there an old boyfriend she drunk text too? Even just to tell him he was a jerk to her. Yes you have some nice twist, but your rewriting Twilight, make it your own. Currently I just want to break out the original and have a good read. Let me guess the next thing is slick ice and Edward saves her. Please Change it up.
5/3 c1 casey drell
very great start
4/28 c1 cyrilalbar06
The story is powerful; I like how it was presented. Good job writer! If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to hardy novelstar. top or joye novelstar. top
4/26 c1 2CaptainYuuki
I can't wait for you to finish this lol.. I love rewrites of Twilight
4/25 c1 aljaira
Awesome story. I love it. You can join in NovelStar writing contest with a theme "WEREWOLVES" Prices are amazing!

httpsauthor. starlight. ink/essay/index. html
(PC)
httpapp. novelstar. top/index/index/special/id/87
or email any of the following editors;
hardy novelstar. top
joye novelstar. top
lena novelstar. top
app. novelstar. top
4/25 c2 SMB1988
Seems more like high school than university, but anxious to see where you take it.

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