Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Sunrise over Shipwrecks: The 170th Games

8/13/2021 c3 6darthnell
Oh wow this poem is gorgeous Trishhh… ;-; I really feel how much Sera just lives through dancing here, like it’s her one escape ;-; Also in the prose bit the part about Milani and how she would’ve joined Sera if she were there, that’s gorgeous ;-; Man her dance coach is brutal.. like almost even more than a Career trainer might be wheeze.. Definitely seems like a struggle having to do both dance and training oof.. Ooooh she’s hiding her training from Milani too oh oof.. oh man I love how the poetry cuts in right when she’s told she’ll be volunteering, like she’s swept away on her dreams and there’s something violent in those dreams too.. like the last few lines of that poem, and the repetition of “Milani doesn’t know” and Sera deciding that she won’t know until Sera steps onstage… we’re in for some real heartbreak it seems ;-; man it’s so gorgeous though, the way you present it,, I love ;-;

Ooh Emris’s life definitely seems more slow-paced compared to Sera’s, they’re just living, that’s the vibe I get from the poem.. Emris seems super content with this apothecary business and stuff, aw I love that ;-; ok Reese seems like an asshole though fuck him. Poor kid.. like he definitely could’ve had a pretty solid life if he didn’t get reaped rip :skull: but yeah again with the poem coming in just as his name is called.. I love that. The timing? Excellent. Wonderful. This poor fucking kid a h ;-; I really like how the poem highlights that it’s just Emris’s world that changes because of this and everyone else’s will just go on.. it definitely hits harder ;-;

Oh man Ries.. ouch that first poetry bit,, hi there hurts? ;_; This poor lad already deserves so much better oof.. ;-; Like one after the other, just evidence of people not caring enough to give him the time of day for whatever reason.. ;-; OH MY GOD HE SELLS FAKE DRUGS IM WHEEZING DJDJJS.. like I’m laughing but also I’m emotional at the same time? Like you did such an absolutely fire job with these poems, like he’s trying so hard and it’s really not working but it’s working enough for him at the moment.. ;-; He’s such a vibe though, like idk if I even like him as a person but I’m absolutely enjoying him as a character right now, he’s so fun jcjdjs.

These intros are excellent so far Trish ! ;-; sorry it took me so long to review, but I’m so excited to meet all these kids, you’re doing amazing ily 3
7/3/2021 c3 27Firedawn'd
hi! dropping off a long-long overdue review. i adored the prologues and viktor and what he'll do just. scares me and puts me on alert gosh. but - now onto the tributes!

okay so... sera. i love her? just the idea of music "grab[bing] her by the waist" is such a beautiful image, and everything about her and milani— my god theyre gay. wow i am... not sure why im surprised, but HI U JUST WON 100 POINTS in my book. d. baby. sera is just manifesting and projecting and insecure and gosh im so interested to see how she'll interact. NOT EVEN GETTING TO SAY A GOODBYE TO HER GF (basically) BC SHE COULDNT TELL HER BEFOREHAND HURTS ME OK. why... are u so good at writing i loved it.

aaa emris! he's a sweet kid who wants to help the homeless, aw baby. and i love your use of time - "the day in the bacallao household starts and runs like clockwork", and its contrast of time running and time stopping is beautiful, after he's reaped. same with the water imagery and the seas of time turning into a trickle down his cheek - beautiful!

RIESSSS. okay so you've absolutely KILLED it here! ries is so sweet ;-; and such a bastard. that restroom line just hit hard ouch, cause its obvious none of his teachers really gave a shit about him, and that he was just. overlooked and neglected, and that led to him acting out in the edgiest (and most humorous) ways possible. not over the fake weed and the ending line "he stopped giving a fuck" was beautifull.

thank u for writing!
7/1/2021 c3 10rising-balloons
okay i'm finally here!

sera: so first we've got a poem where she dances, nice. makes sense given her epithet lol. it was good, but the poem i REALLY loved was sera's second one, where she realizes her secret's about to come out. it was so good. the repetition of "milani doesn't know" was lovely. your strengths really shined here. overall, she seems much nicer here than she did on the blog, although that might just be because she didn't really talk to anyone. personality-wise, i'm still getting a read on her.

emris: GOD emris is too nice for this?! emris sweetie you deserve so much better. and the way he was lulled into a false sense of complacency because he didn't take out tesserae this year was brutal, i hate whoever's idea that was. he just wants to improve the world! heal people! i want to see more of him immediately. my favorite line was probably the one at the very end about not looking up, that hurt a lot.

ries: oooh changing up the format here, i love it! honestly i think this was your best of the three. he's not my kid, but from blog impressions, you seem to really nail him here. his personality shines through so strongly, and you also managed to give us some backstory at the same time which is awesome. the beginning and ending of the pov with the poem going through the ages was so satisfying. also, fake drugs? why is that so funny and sad at the same time.

okay amazing! first intros down, hooray! i know you probably don't have a ton of internet access rn so no worries about update speed, we can wait until you're ready. i just freaking love the poetry aspect of this so much honestly, the way you bounce back and forth between poetry and prose is so cool to read. to sum up, you're amazing, your writing is amazing and i'll see you next time trish! :blobheart: :)
6/25/2021 c2 6Alecxias
Poor Viktor ;-; Good guy, Abe!

I can see the hurt and the sadness he is experiencing and I loved the way you conveyed it in the lines of poetry shifting from happy memories and ending with pain. ((It's not fair how you can write good poetry and still be good at writing prose too)) jk you're amazing.

I look forward to the next chapter!
6/25/2021 c1 Alecxias
Hi!

Alec reporting and reviewing. I love the poetry at the start, I don't know how to review poetry but it's very well structured and nice to read out loud. They evoke an image in my head, and you've done that with such few words, it's amazing!

So Vale and Vicktor are brothers? Interesting. I can see, at first glance, that Vale does care about Viktor and I am waiting to see how you explore their relationship going forward!

Cheers!
~Alec
6/24/2021 c2 4adoxographyy
hello miss methefanatic19 and hello sos blog! do i know you! my blog review is gonna be a lil bit shorter today but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

roland: he seems a little bit like the typical 1m with the usual s/ws tbh but the quote... i’m looking. does this come from experience? ig we’ll see. yeah the weapon isn’t out of the ordinary, but i get the feeling that mr silbern (gorgeous last name) is going to be a twist on the normality.

sera: thank you sm for accepting her :pleading: i love her very very much

calypso: holy shit she’s gorgeous. the last name is so good. “would you know my name if we met it heaven?” YEAH I WOULD BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. i get self-destructive vibes (esp with the weapon) from her and honestly i love that. she’s my fave from all of these kids from just first impressions and god... the s/ws are PHENOMENAL. thank you r-b for giving us her i’m in love.

AND MY SECOND FAVE. gosh the career girls really did pop off this time. stan sangria and she gives off sad lesbian staring at the sunset vibes which given her quote is probably right. i forgot what a sais was for a second so i must go google that. okay that’s really cool. yeah i think she’s going to be super fun (by that i mean angsty) and i already love her so :pleading:

rayaaaa! she’s so pretty :pleading: i think she’ll be a fave, and her s/ws are fun. i sense a traumatic backstory... definitely a like but i think she could move up to love after i read her intro!

ithamar... awww. nooo, not self-deprecating. i have too many kids like that and it hurts me to see them. he looks so wholesome and i think i will stan him.

awww kaladia is just as wholesome! i like her a lot. d7 alliance pls? you know you want it. they both look like people i would be friends with irl too. kaladia’s fc... gosh, i adore it. she looks like sm fun.

emris looks interesting! solid like from the blog. he looks wholesome but with a slightly more edgy vibe but that may be because of the fc. ohhh pedantic is fun. i like him! obvious d8 bias here too lmaoo

hmmm gwenith. the volunteered/reaped thing confuses me and i’m snot aure how i feel about it. i’m guessing it’ll be a twist- like she goes in for a twin or smth, but i’m not a fan of that at all cause it’s been done so many times before.

ries... i never would’ve guessed he was a semi-meme without having prior knowledge! /s but anyways he looks a lot like comedic relief (not a bad thing for sure) and i’m looking forward to getting a good laugh from him lmaooo.

here’s my chart for now:
mine: sera (1f)
would die for: calypso (2f), sangria (5f)
like: roland (1m), raya (6f), ithamar (7m), kaladia (7f), emris (8m), ries (11m)
neutral: gwenith (7f)
6/23/2021 c2 lexi
hi hi it's lexi here with a blog review!

the homepage is already stunning, THAT POEM I LOVE IT and the pictures complement the title and the poem so well

and THERES ANOTHER POEM AHH
i love this one too ohmigosh it's brilliant

roland: aww he seems soft the quote; I wonder who he let slip away? clumsy oh no he's clumsy :( ambitious and naive ooo interesting combo. he doesn't seem all that bad I could see him being a total sweetheart but he is a career.

seraphina: I love her name its so prettyyyyyyy ahhhhh. and she's a dancer! i like dancers! cute :)). she looks bold. oh and "sensitive" that's intriguing. and a WHIP YEAHHH

calypso: SHE'S SO PRETTY. and "would you know my name if we met in heaven?" I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. and HER NAME I LOVE IT i wonder if she's an inspired? Surefooted! I love that as a strength. and a fragile career? weapon of choice: herself? i love her so much already.

sangria: SHES GORGEOUS and HER NAME ! beautiful. her quote is so pretty and poetic. regretful? my curiosity is piqued i wonder what that's about. also her weapon of choice is a sais what an awesome weapon.

raya: i love her quote. i agree. and shes stunning as well everyone here is gorgeous. patient is a good strength! i like that. emotionally fragile; hmmm interesting. and shes only sixteen poor bby.

ithamar: AWWW HE'S SO SWEET and I'm glad kaladia has a nice dp 3 the faceclaim fits perfectly. aww no he's malnourished :((((( and self-deprecating oh noooo

kaladia: thanks again for accepting her :) 3

emris: awwww he's compassionate awwww. he's cautious? but it's a weakness? hmm interesting. bacallao is a fun last name :)

gwenith: she tells stories! i love that. she's stealthy i like that and ooo vindictive? uses poison? i love that for her and also volunteered/reaped? was she gonna volunteer but ended up being reaped? interesting. if she did mean to volunteer i wonder why? she's only fifteen.

ries: HIS QUOTE pls i'm sobbing i love that. and he's only fourteen ! so young ! but he's also assured and hedonistic and rigid i can't wait to see him in the arena

blog is stunning! can't wait for the intros im sure they'll be gorgeous

hope you have a wonderful day!~
6/22/2021 c2 10rising-balloons
i am hereeee with a blog reviewwww

roland: i admittedly skimmed over him at first but once i took a second to read his stuff, i'm lowkey intrigued. is that quote speaking from experience, sir? what moment did you let slip away? whatever it is i think it has a big part in why he's volunteering. his strengths and weapon are pretty typical, but his weaknesses are a yikes combo. the naive plus career combo never ends well. and he's clumsy, too? oh boy. i think he'll be a lot of fun and i want to know more!

seraphina: hello berenice! jk jk but that fc really sells the judgy aspect of her quite well, i 100% believe that she's judgy. it ties in with her strength of observant nicely too. but she's also sensitive- maybe she's one of those who can dish it out but can't take it? and she's a dancer too! with a whip! our first two career girls seem like they're very evenly matched tbh and if they ever fight it'll be epic. i look forward to the poetic dancing imagery she'll bring to sos.

calypso: do i kno u? anyways thank you so much for taking her trish! i am so excited for her and i hope you enjoy writing her :) and wow my girl is so pretty? highkey stunning

sangria: oooh that quote is very on theme, i like it! it gives me, like, pioneer vibes? i wonder if she's an adventurer or something, that would be so fun. i like self-aware as a strength, especially since that's one of those that can go both ways (which is probably where insecure stems from, if i had to guess). and more regretting! sangria what do you regret i want to know. and oooh sais!

raya: first wow she's stunning. second her name also feels on-theme for sos (so does sangria tbh). wait who is she getting revenge against? who has wronged our dear raya? apparently she's pretty patient so it must've been pretty bad. honestly patient and stubborn is a really interesting combo and i'm v intrigued to see how that manifests in raya. and fists as a weapon, we love to see it!

ithamar: wait he seems like such a sweetie! and he's self-deprecating? no no no ithamar pls be kind to yourself! that's another really solid fc choice, he just seems so gentle and approachable. i think he will most definitely break my heart, especially bc he's on the older side and that means i'll get my hopes up that he could win. i am bracing myself.

kaladia: aaaand i'm now strapping myself in. look at that quote! look at that face! what a sweetie? i think she gives good hugs. and what a lovely dp for our strapping ithamar?! anyways i love delicate as a weakness. maybe she's one of those who insists on carrying burdens that aren't hers? since she's so empathetic? i hope she and ithamar team up that would be so wholesome.

emris: he seems like another nice one! less gentle than d7, though, which is probably coming from the fc more than anything. cautious as a weakness interests me- maybe that means he's overcautious? that's my guess. i don't have a ton of thoughts on him other than since everyone seems pretty nice, i'm interested to see where he fits in.

gwenith: i really like her fc, she looks like a gwenith. and she definitely comes off as creative! i mean besides it being listed as a strength the quote radiates it. seems like she's a storyteller of some kind which is always fun, i want to hear some gwenith stories. and vindictive, oooh i love that. i bet she deals out killer insults. and poison, that's scary.

ries: okay obviously that quote is the best one here, like seriously just look at it. and it's also something a 14m would totally say. his fc struck me as older than 14 at first but the more i look at it the better i think it passes. i also love his traits! i think they contrast really well with the rest of the group who is, as i mentioned, seemingly made up of very wholesome kiddos. rigid and hedonistic is a v interesting combo, and yay more fists! also congrats for being the youngest one here.

overall this cast strikes me as being really nice? almost all of them seem to have good intentions and that means i will be very sad when everyone starts dying. the poem on the tribute page was so good too, i love the metaphor i think i spotted in there. i also loved this prologue, btw! sorry for not reviewing. i made it eventually. your cast is stunning, your writing is stunning, you're stunning, and i'll see you next time trish! :)
6/1/2021 c2 8My-Mental-Mind
HYPE HYPE HYPE ft Viktor who is sad.

This was such a neat second chapter! I love how you went a bit more into the worldbuilding side of things through Viktor's perspective and how he misses D4 and the life that he led there. Everything's completely gone and the image of the sapling poking through after all of the bombing just put it into perspective. Viktor's lost so much and he's so tortured for it, so naturally, he needs an outlet for that pain, leading to our tributes! He'll make them pay. I particularly enjoyed the final line about the sun rising over the shipwrecks that were sinking deeper below. It's a nod to your title but also a lovely image to end the chapter on that suggests a sense of hope over the wreckage that is Viktor's life.

This was lovely! I am definitely working to get my tribute in before the deadline for you~

Over and out!
~Mental
6/1/2021 c2 3lexi486
... he's going to kill all of them? all 24? oh dear.

this chapter was so beautiful ahhhhh
again, the poetry and prose flowed together and was integrated so well
the descriptions of his siblings were just so cute and I feel so bad for him.
it's so sad how he says the last time he was happy was when he was 27
I wonder what happened to that girl?
ah... did he go to 4 to get inspiration? i wonder what the arena's going to look like.
can't wait for the cast reveal! :)
6/1/2021 c2 6darthnell
EEE E EEE WTF I GOT CHILLS AT THE END THERE FUCK.. Negative character development for Viktor perhaps? :eyes: Like Man, he certainly wants revenge (and no better place to steep in it than the ashes of your former home) but.. Well, he can't take it out on the Capitol so he's just going to take it out on whoever the fuck he can, god.. It's so horrible and bitter but I love it... AND THE LAST LINE CALLING IN THE TITL ITS SO GOOD..

I love like.. where you put the poem in this part of it like.. the change from prose to poem fits so well with the memory flashbacks, it really makes me as a reader feel just as trapped in Viktor's thoughts as he was in that moment.. It's such a pretty poem though too, the prettiest part of the chapter (with the prettiest memories) though I can see the tension between him and his brother there too, juuust a little bit to be Enough and Significant.. And the other three-line poem, it's so brutally hopeless compared to that one.. ;-; Fjhdh Viktor really just went "ok cool I'm okay with child murder now (:" I'm so excited for this story dude, it's so good already ;-;
5/12/2021 c1 darthnell
Oh wow this is beautiful already my dude.. beautiful and Sad? Hello? This poor man. The whole stuff that went down with Viktor and D4.. like Ouch ;-; And him getting blamed for a murder he didn't commit ? ;-; That fking Sucks hjfhjd. Like I can see how that messed him up real bad.. I'm curious about what everybody else thinks about Viktor being assigned Head Gamemaker though.. just a Slight tad of nepotism, we love that jghjgfh.

Also ok, like the fact that Vale is his brother.. Like it seems like they don't have a good or very close relationship (aside from Vale giving him the job). But if Vale is. Responsible for what went down in D4.. did this man (accidentally?) kill his own parents ? :0 Bruh.. Like Viktor is obviously angry here.. but also he seems invested in doing a good job as Head Gamemaker. These two are super intriguing ! Like if D4 was their home and Vale was responsible in destroying it... like Damn, what went wrong ? Were his loyalties to the Capitol just that much stronger ? I'm super invested in learning more about these lads now jhfhjf ;-;

And the poem is so powerful too, like it does such a good job of painting Viktor's character.. It's a sad and tragic image, but the way you write it is beautiful, if that makes sense ;-; Like the last stanza with him fading along the path he's been set on.. ;-; Hopefully the events of this story will be enough for him to take back the direction of his life :'0 (Ok I also just realized.. if he didn't kill his sister... Who the fuck did ? :0 ..Considering there's only one other character so far - with a history of partaking in violence at that - I will be Watching Him /eyes/)
5/10/2021 c1 8My-Mental-Mind
AHHH TRISH! A poetry SYOT, a fabulous concept and one I already know that people are going to really enjoy.

Viktor is really a tortured soul and I feel for him since he just seems to be trapped within himself! His deciding not to go to therapy is a sad reality and a reflection of how some people feel that they can survive without it, but it just depends if he will be able to get by with his demons and the trauma he has or if he'll have to go to therapy eventually in an attempt to get rid of them. He was quite direct with the President, so I'm guessing that Vale and Viktor are close and that Vale trusts his ability to make a good arena. I guess we shall see!

A great beginning to this SYOT, I love the mix of styles throughout as well as the colourful imagery. Great job, you know I have a concept, so I'll try to get them done before the deadline :)

Over and out!
~Mental
5/10/2021 c1 3Mykindleisawesome
ahhhh look it's here! i'm glad i got to sign on to be a beta, it's always a joy to look through your writing and poetry and that's why i'm so excited that you're full committing to the poetry syot idea! it's so incredibly unique, and i know you'll pull it off exceptionally well.

i looove the whole poetry section in the beginning. i'm always stunned by your work, and this was no different! i love how you managed to get so much information across through poetry, giving me all the deets but in this really lovely way. viktor's mind is... dark, to say the least, and your poetry lends itself so nicely to being able to explore it. "The corners of his building reeked / Of cigars and unfinished dreams" mhm mhm that was my favorite part of the first section, i fucked with it heavily. and i love the recurring theme of surviving/living throughout the chapter, how he's alive but he's not really living, just surviving. YOUR MIND. "A tsunami submerging a mortal island. / Like an assassin with a vengeance" THIS ONE WAS REALLY SEXY TOO, his past trying to overwhelm him, always following him wherever he goes. i know i mentioned it on your doc but "Even the briefest of moments, / The most neglected of blinks, / Are forest fires / that turn him to ashes." IS MY FAVORITE STANZA it's sooo lovely and it has no right to be. i love all of the dark elements you manage to capture so beautifully. I really liked him talking to his brother as well, now THAT'S a fucked up family dynamic that i will most definitely be looking forward to seeing play out more! viktor has has a ROUGH FUCKING TIME and something tells me it won't get better for a while!

so yes, i loved it. you are SO very talented trish, and i look forward to seeing what you create in this story! you're gonna kill it!
5/10/2021 c1 5timesphobic
hello my dear trish! im here to give you a little review, since i'm not subbing, but i am along for the ride regardless as a beta reader! i absolutely love this prologue. your imagery in the first section, specifically this little bit:

The corners of his building reeked

Of cigars and unfinished dreams,

Half-completed conversations weaved

Spiderwebs over his bed.

Dried up liquor and meat lay rotting in the sink.

are quite showing of like, what exactly viktor is feeling. and boy howdy is he feeling! nothing good though. you gave a little bit of exposition on viktor and vale when you sent the chapter over, which is incredibly intriguing, because im very interested to see where you go with these two. they very obviously have uh. a history (tm) which im excited to see explored. overall a very short and sweet opener to what is sure to be an incredible story! im so proud of you, and i can't wait to follow this journey with you!

-phobie
18 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service