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for The Return of the Queen - First goddess

6/20/2021 c3 Ryan Fowler
this is good I hope that thalia see the evil in the gods and joins Persephone senior
6/20/2021 c3 YonkonePiece25
Interesting as you take the twist of the story the burning of the grove of Dodona and the death of Argus.

But for Demeter to turn against her sister just because she didn't have enough power to find her daughter is petty especially if she helped her.

And Zeus is a total idiot for what he did to Prometheus and his brothers and the sons of Persephone is also unforgivable.

How many sons does he have? And who are the parents?

Will flashbacks from the past appear?
6/20/2021 c3 Cam.Katarn
You've really improved the grammar in just one chapter I'm very impressed. Although there are some small mistakes that I've noticed they aren't that much of a problem.
'll be a great ally to the upcoming war... - (She would be a great ally in the upcoming war) You would have been right if Persephone was speaking out loud instead of in her head.

Small things like that, but still thats great improvement and I can't wait for the next chapter.

Also there's a Percy Jackson fic that I think would really help you in understanding the nature of the gods and protogenoi.

I'ts called - An Undertow of Sand (Percy Jackson and the Olympians AU)

You have to work through the first half of the first chapter but the rest are very good and provide a unique and inspired view on the nature of the gods. That actually makes a lot of sense and makes you think ",huh why didn't I think of that'',
6/20/2021 c3 2Agile PvP
liked the chapter! I enjoyed how you expanded on the titans and their personalities a bit instead of just making them off as evil machines that some authors make them out to be. can't wait until next time!
6/20/2021 c3 8MisguidedPenguin
Another good chapter. Can’t wait to see what happens both on the Hunter and the Nico sides of things.
6/6/2021 c2 Themis7
Update :)
6/6/2021 c1 Themis7
I love this story.
6/5/2021 c2 fugy
Dude, this is gonna be great if you keep it up. Hopefully you can post the next chapter faster but it is still an awesome fanfic
6/4/2021 c2 YonkonePiece25
Yes! Keep it up! But what I don't understand is because Demeter doesn't get along with her sister, I don't see her doing that, Hera's, but not her.

And Hera, why is she jealous of him?
6/4/2021 c2 Cam.Katarn
You need to work on your grammar and proofread your work.
For example (Don't even think to Teleport) should be (Don't even think about teleporting)
Also you wrote Thee instead of The
Nymph of Labyrinth should be the Nymph of the Labyrinth.

There are several more grammar mistakes that you made, but you get the point, the story is good and you've given it a good premise but these small mistakes can really bring you down.
6/4/2021 c2 2Agile PvP
Great chapter! gives some hints on changes towards the Olympians personalities without giving a concrete description. Loved it!
5/22/2021 c1 YonkonePiece25
Not this nothing continues like this I would like to see Persephone's relationship with her family and what led her to her current situation.

And a very good idea to make her the daughter of the three.
5/21/2021 c1 2DebaterMax
Love it as always but why/how did Hades vote on the banishment as he doesn’t have a vote if I remember correctly. The Olympians are Pos Zeus Apollo Hermès Hephaestus Dionysus Ares Athena Demeter Hera Artemis Aphrodite. That’s the 12 Olympians hades isn’t include. Just like Hestia. So beyond that love it.
5/21/2021 c1 Aegnkd
Great chapter update please. :)
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