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5/26/2021 c1 twolfe81
A successful start to what can potentially be a great story. I've read several of this genre and can see some plot similarities and overlap with others, but what can you do...if enough people write about a topic or story thread, eventually ideas do overlap.

I look forward to seeing how your story runs, given how much I've enjoyed Caterpillar. Keep em coming! :)
5/26/2021 c1 Davnix
5/26/2021 c1 Latherial
As a reader of your other story Caterpillar, I decided to give this story a try also.
And so far I am not disappointed with it, I can even say that I like it.
I saw no major mistakes and it being a first chapter and it being set in a other dimension I can't say anything about canon mistakes.
I always liked the idea of a single change having a butterfly effect.
Looking forward to to what you write next.
5/26/2021 c1 ThR1992
It is a pleasure that you forays into the world of Harry Potter, I know you will do a great job.

I will start by commenting that in my personal opinion, the synopsis gives too much information, I think you should have this detainee after Snape did not give Harry the memory of him and skip the 22 years and 3 wars. Since you clarify it explicitly in the chapter.

I'm interested in how Harry's parents died and how Neville's parents survived.
Was there a sacrifice like Lily did?

Which wand did Harry get?
Do you have the wand with Voldemort's twin core?

Did he keep the piece of the soul or by crossing the veil did he destroy himself?

Will the deathly hallows play a role in the story?
5/26/2021 c1 Jack Oh Lantern
This looks promising, but I think I will wait to see 2 more chapters to see where this story is going before I commit and follow it.
5/26/2021 c1 KickoUzumaki
Good chapter and good plot for a story
5/26/2021 c1 powerhouse17
I'll be honest my two favorite fanfic types are naruto/crossovers and Harry Potter. the way that you wrote Caterpillar was really well done and I hope you choose to continue with this story!
5/26/2021 c1 Imagination 3101
Big fan of your work, Caterpillar. This story is also very interesting. Looking forward to see more chapters. Have a great time :)
5/26/2021 c1 Kushnadar
nice start, didnt notice any grave mistakes, so dont pull your hair out trying to find a beta fast
i like harry / fleur pairing and am curious which path your going to choose to get us there

just a small request: please dont stretch the early hogwarts years. children are so limited in what you can write about them story wise.
5/26/2021 c1 THEtoken1
Alrighty, a bit different so far and that's great. Let's see where this journey takes us.
5/26/2021 c1 2delphinous
i think this could be an interesting story. it's seeming to be a much more realistic take on the idea of an adult being forced to go through childhood again, but that will end up being somewhat problematic in regards to fleur. while i love a well done fleur/harry story, if you're going to have him maintaining the mentality of being 40 years old, then by the time they meet he'll basically mentally be around 45 and she'll be 17, and that's getting into pretty creepy territory, and even then, it would be a stretch for him to be interested in her for anything else beyond her looks, because she wouldn't have the weight of life experience to balance with him, even if she is 'mature beyond her years'

i'm not saying these issues cannot be dealt with and overcome, just pointing out early that you will need to have plans for them and need to start them early enough for them to bear fruit if you want the story to be a well done serious story. if your goal is a lol 'dark/broody' crack/humor fic, then you don't have to care nearly as much, but m personal preference is that i'd rather see a really interesting and well written serious type story, not another 'fun' story
5/26/2021 c1 1Thunderbird29
This is promising. The pace is really good, no unnecessary monologues detailing things that we either already know or don't really care about. That has become something of a common practice and I hope you continue avoiding that. Otherwise not much to say here, it's good story telling and I hope you keep it up.
5/26/2021 c1 Djiin
hello grumpywolf, il love your first story and i think i'll love your new stoy. a lot of potential. go on !
5/26/2021 c1 KnowPein
Nice start.. So potters dead... Sirius missing... Peter don't know if traitor here... Longbottoms alive.. They didn't take Harry.. Wonder why Is Alice nit godmother here?

Anyways thanks for writing.. Awaiting for the next chapter
5/26/2021 c1 Link901
looks like a promising start
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