5/26/2021 c1 Kushnadar
nice start, didnt notice any grave mistakes, so dont pull your hair out trying to find a beta fast
i like harry / fleur pairing and am curious which path your going to choose to get us there
just a small request: please dont stretch the early hogwarts years. children are so limited in what you can write about them story wise.
nice start, didnt notice any grave mistakes, so dont pull your hair out trying to find a beta fast
i like harry / fleur pairing and am curious which path your going to choose to get us there
just a small request: please dont stretch the early hogwarts years. children are so limited in what you can write about them story wise.
5/26/2021 c1 THEtoken1
Alrighty, a bit different so far and that's great. Let's see where this journey takes us.
Alrighty, a bit different so far and that's great. Let's see where this journey takes us.
5/26/2021 c1 2delphinous
i think this could be an interesting story. it's seeming to be a much more realistic take on the idea of an adult being forced to go through childhood again, but that will end up being somewhat problematic in regards to fleur. while i love a well done fleur/harry story, if you're going to have him maintaining the mentality of being 40 years old, then by the time they meet he'll basically mentally be around 45 and she'll be 17, and that's getting into pretty creepy territory, and even then, it would be a stretch for him to be interested in her for anything else beyond her looks, because she wouldn't have the weight of life experience to balance with him, even if she is 'mature beyond her years'
i'm not saying these issues cannot be dealt with and overcome, just pointing out early that you will need to have plans for them and need to start them early enough for them to bear fruit if you want the story to be a well done serious story. if your goal is a lol 'dark/broody' crack/humor fic, then you don't have to care nearly as much, but m personal preference is that i'd rather see a really interesting and well written serious type story, not another 'fun' story
i think this could be an interesting story. it's seeming to be a much more realistic take on the idea of an adult being forced to go through childhood again, but that will end up being somewhat problematic in regards to fleur. while i love a well done fleur/harry story, if you're going to have him maintaining the mentality of being 40 years old, then by the time they meet he'll basically mentally be around 45 and she'll be 17, and that's getting into pretty creepy territory, and even then, it would be a stretch for him to be interested in her for anything else beyond her looks, because she wouldn't have the weight of life experience to balance with him, even if she is 'mature beyond her years'
i'm not saying these issues cannot be dealt with and overcome, just pointing out early that you will need to have plans for them and need to start them early enough for them to bear fruit if you want the story to be a well done serious story. if your goal is a lol 'dark/broody' crack/humor fic, then you don't have to care nearly as much, but m personal preference is that i'd rather see a really interesting and well written serious type story, not another 'fun' story
5/26/2021 c1 1Thunderbird29
This is promising. The pace is really good, no unnecessary monologues detailing things that we either already know or don't really care about. That has become something of a common practice and I hope you continue avoiding that. Otherwise not much to say here, it's good story telling and I hope you keep it up.
This is promising. The pace is really good, no unnecessary monologues detailing things that we either already know or don't really care about. That has become something of a common practice and I hope you continue avoiding that. Otherwise not much to say here, it's good story telling and I hope you keep it up.
5/26/2021 c1 Djiin
hello grumpywolf, il love your first story and i think i'll love your new stoy. a lot of potential. go on !
hello grumpywolf, il love your first story and i think i'll love your new stoy. a lot of potential. go on !
5/26/2021 c1 2KnowPein
Nice start.. So potters dead... Sirius missing... Peter don't know if traitor here... Longbottoms alive.. They didn't take Harry.. Wonder why Is Alice nit godmother here?
Anyways thanks for writing.. Awaiting for the next chapter
Nice start.. So potters dead... Sirius missing... Peter don't know if traitor here... Longbottoms alive.. They didn't take Harry.. Wonder why Is Alice nit godmother here?
Anyways thanks for writing.. Awaiting for the next chapter
5/26/2021 c1 Sandel
I like the approach...I've read several Harry Potter time-travel stories and this one seems pretty fresh...no extra empashis on tragic past...no seemingly easy transition to childhood again...I like it. Looking forward to more chapters. Cheers mate!
I like the approach...I've read several Harry Potter time-travel stories and this one seems pretty fresh...no extra empashis on tragic past...no seemingly easy transition to childhood again...I like it. Looking forward to more chapters. Cheers mate!
5/26/2021 c1 1DragonBane541
So far it seems like a good story. I would definitely like to read more of it.
So far it seems like a good story. I would definitely like to read more of it.
5/26/2021 c1 ShadowJay20
I will simply say that this is looking to be a great start and hope that you will continue this story.
I will simply say that this is looking to be a great start and hope that you will continue this story.
5/26/2021 c1 BBWulf
An interesting first chapter. Can’t wait to see what awaits poor old(but not) Harry.
An interesting first chapter. Can’t wait to see what awaits poor old(but not) Harry.
5/26/2021 c1 orthodox1057
Very promising, please continue. The idea of revealing the past through short flashbacks is great no need for unnecessarily long and bleak prologues. A Harry that becomes a legend of his own volition and not because everyone expects him to be. I hope his perspective of a grown man continues to produce hilarious situations when it clashes with teenage anxiety. I don't know if you have such an idea but it would be amazing to see him repeat the escapades of his childhood in ridiculously awe-inspiring and heroic and/or cunning ways.
Very promising, please continue. The idea of revealing the past through short flashbacks is great no need for unnecessarily long and bleak prologues. A Harry that becomes a legend of his own volition and not because everyone expects him to be. I hope his perspective of a grown man continues to produce hilarious situations when it clashes with teenage anxiety. I don't know if you have such an idea but it would be amazing to see him repeat the escapades of his childhood in ridiculously awe-inspiring and heroic and/or cunning ways.
5/26/2021 c1 4DaDragon562
Ooh I'm excited to see how this plays out. I enjoy what you did with caterpillar and hope this ends up having some interesting liberties with HP verse
Ooh I'm excited to see how this plays out. I enjoy what you did with caterpillar and hope this ends up having some interesting liberties with HP verse