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for King of Winter

7/22/2022 c26 tenxxxlll
I feel like the Euron line doesn't need to happen. It's a great story so far but it kinda ruins it.
7/7/2022 c14 Just somedude
What is up with all the Edmure bashing
6/30/2022 c26 19Puffgirl1952 the 2nd
When is Ch. 27 being updated?
6/8/2022 c26 Guest
What happened you usually update but lately?

Update soon
5/15/2022 c6 SynBen28
I just realized that Bloodraven was serving Rickard stark as a spymaster and greenseer. And now it just boggles my mind how Rickard died in King's landing. There's no way Bloodraven didn't know exactly how crazy Aerys was and report it to Rickard and the council. Yet he still went King's Landing? I guess they may have had several contingencies that somehow all failed, but it still seems like Rickard took a ridiculously idiotic risk that bit him in the *ss. Though even then, I'd honestly expect Bloodraven to just assassinate Aerys before he would let his king face any risk to his life.

Has Marge befriended Catelyn and Sansa at all? I would think she would go to Catelyn to get advice on adapting to the North as southern lady. Also was kind of surprised about Sansa and Domeric. In the first chapter Jon was thinking about how he would set up a match for Sansa in the south.
5/15/2022 c5 SynBen28
Joffrey as a religious fanatic is kind of weird to think about but I guess I can see how that would work.
Though one thing that I'm wondering about is Robert. In this AU he doesn't have his Lyanna based depression or his obsession with destroying the Targs. Given that I would think he would be at least somewhat less of a drunkard and might have a bit better relationship with Cersei. Not a good one mind you, but not quite as poisonous as canon. After all, in canon things started with Robert whispering 'Lyanna' on his wedding night, which wouldn't happen in your version.
'the Tyrells have the guaranteed loyalty of their three most powerful vassals.'
Aren't the Florents one of the strongest houses in the Reach? And one that really wants to overthrow the Tyrells?
5/15/2022 c4 SynBen28
I don't understand all the talk about giants and magic being myths. Didn't the starks bring giants as part of their army for the rebellion? Ned and Brandon definitely brought their direwolves. Brandon presumably fought using Ice, the magic sword. And I doubt that would be the only magic or enchanted items they would use for a war.
Aside from that:
'He waited until we dismounted our horses, or in my grandmother and mother's case, got out of the carriage.'
Wouldn't Willas also be getting out of the carriage? I don't think he can ride a horse with his leg injury.
5/15/2022 c3 SynBen28
Kind of confused about Red Rain. Its presented as if it was one of the three most important items among the trophy wall, but I don't really get the sword's significance. Considering the Starks definitely kept at least one trophy from when they killed 2 dragons and destroyed the southern army in 73AC, I would expect that to stand out a lot more. Since the most likely trophy would be the skull of one or both dragons. Though I guess if that's too big for the setting then maybe the giant arrows that were used to kill the dragons, which presumably were also enchanted with runes.
Also, its a minor thing but I think it would be better to switch the last line to 'We swear it by fire and ice'. I just think it would be more likely for the northern fealty oath to end on the word 'ice' rather than 'fire'
5/14/2022 c2 SynBen28
A few things more things here.
The complete mirroring of the council here in Wintertown and the one in King's landing is odd. I guess the idea is that the North had it first and when the Targs established the Small Council they used the North as a model?
How did the Greyjoy Rebellion go down here considering the North was never in the same kind of turmoil as the south in robert's rebellion nor did they suffer the same level of damage. Did Balon still attack the North or did he only focus on the south? Theon doesn't seem to be here, so that would also bring up the question of where he went instead of the North.
How did bloodraven end up in the North? Was he still in the tree, and if not how did he live this long?
What is the wall used for since it hasn't had to defend against anything for millenia at this point.
Does the Night's Watch still have the whole vow of celibacy? it would seem kind of weird for a policing force to have to be celibate, especially when the other two military branches don't.
Kind of confused why Jon doesn't already have a betrothal. Presumably the lords would have been pushing Brandon on the matter for quite a few years at this point.
My biggest question though is why the f*ck Jon and Robb have those names. In canon they're named for Jon Arryn and Robert Baratheon, but Ned and Brandon have no strong connection to either of those two in your story. Especially Jon, the lords would definitely be unhappy about the crown prince having a southern name, even more so when there doesn't seem to be a reason for it. Neither of his parents are southern or have been stated to have a strong relationship with anyone in the south.
As for Robb, I honestly think Ned would insist on his first son having a Stark name and allowing Catelyn to chooses a southern name for later children(like Bran). I think Ned would name his first son Rickard rather than Robb in your story after what happened to his father. Though maybe that would force a name change for Rickon since that's the origin of his name. Plus if Ned was going to choose a southern name, perhaps at his wife's insistence, the name would more likely be a Tully/Riverlands name. Maybe you could change Bran's name to Brynden?
5/14/2022 c1 SynBen28
Feels like the explanation for your version of the rebellion is a bit lacking.
How did Rickard not know of Aerys's madness before going there? Surely they keep abreast of at least the key information of the south? Just the amount of trade that presumably goes on with the south should see some information filter into the north. He also presumably went with a significant complement of skilled guards. Taking him should have had a high risk of an extremely bloody battle in the heart of the Red Keep that might even pose some risk to Aerys. And if nothing else I don't think Aerys was mad enough to disregard his own safety.
So Lyanna was completely uninvolved in the rebellion right? But I'm confused why Catelyn was married to Ned. Wouldn't Hoster push to have her marry either Brandon or Robert? Brandon I guess might not be feasible if he's already married and the northerners not wanting their king to marry a southerner. But Robert doesn't seem to be betrothed here or infatuated with Lyanna and Cersei also wasn't in the picture until Tywin joined at the end of the war.
Though I'm also not sure why Robert would become a leader of the rebellion and king. He doesn't have any personal motivation to rebel here since he doesn't even have a connection to the Starks. Was he just pushed into the position by Jon and other lords? And don't think he had a reason here to pull the Stormland's forces up to the Riverlands, leaving Stannis in a months long siege with no support. If anything it might make more sense for him and the Stormlands to focus on keep the Reach and Dornish forces occupied so they can't reinforce the royalists in the Riverlands. Also don't know if it should really be called Robert's Rebellion when he wasn't even part of the whole start of it.
And why did Tywin sit out most of the war here? He does it in canon because the two sides are close enough in strength that it could go either way. But in your version the North and its allied kingdoms have a clear significant advantage. I also can't see Brandon, Ned, and the northerners allowing Tywin and his attack dogs to go scot free with brutally murdering Elia and the kids. At the least they would have killed the mountain and Lorch regardless of what Tywin or Robert said. Robert also doesn't have a reason for any great hatred of the Targs so I don't know why he would dismiss Tywin's actions in the first place. Though I'm also unsure if the mountain would've been able to kill them to start with, since the 3 kinsguard that are at the tower of joy in canon would be in king's landing here, so clegane would have had to get through some of them first.
Since there's nothing to the contrary I'm also going to assume Dany and Viserys still escaped to Essos? Even though the Starks here have a significant naval presence in the Narrow Sea that should have allowed them (with additions from the other allied kingdoms) to defeat the royalist fleet and have established a blockade of dragonstone and king's landing by that point of the war.
Seems like you're trying to keep the rebellion, general political landscape, and marriages the same as canon but I don't think that can work with the massive change you made.
4/27/2022 c26 1Ashmodai
okay story. Very simple, especially the Dialogues. Some mistakes in the World Building.
4/12/2022 c26 Necromancy94
so I'm guessing this dead shame it was a good story
3/25/2022 c26 Guest
Its been sometime hopefully an update soon
3/19/2022 c26 19Puffgirl1952 the 2nd
Reread everything...apart of me wished Houses Targaryen and Martell had been witness to Tywin Lannister's execution by the Old Ways of the North. Also ripping the lungs out and tossing them was a bit...hmmm...How could Tywin manage to sayKill me" without lungs?

That's the only one thing I could think of...otherwise...the Fanfic story is still awesome and I hope to read the next update one day. I did the rereading after watching a YouTube video of See TV series Haka song...XD
3/6/2022 c1 Guest
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