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for Song of the Sword of Hope

11/11 c33 65CMXB
Hey Lix231 those characters with a western name are not even Gundams as they are from my Team Light story That we made a crossover with.
10/21 c18 27Lix231
Sigh...what in havens name made you think giving karakters in this setting western names? Like seriously I dont think ther is a SINGLE Naruto Karakter with a western name, certenly not somthing so common as Alex. Sure you can name youre OCs whatever you want, but among names like Kakashi, Hinata, Naruto, a name like Alex sticks out like crazy and it feels wrong.
10/21 c10 Lix231
I SERIOUSLY hope you stop with the enraging Song Text dumping. Do you REALY think its fun too read Song Texts instead of you know, the story that I clicked onto the chapter fore?! Im sorry if I sound like an asshole but this is seriously annoying
10/21 c9 Lix231
Dont just dump Lyrics into a chapter like this. Its annoyng, why would I READ the song if I can just look it up and listen too it, so poeple just skip these parts.
10/21 c6 Lix231
...This was nothing more but long winded exposition. I realy hope youre writing improves, the idea is good...its just the way you write it is a tad...tedious too get through
10/21 c2 Lix231
I like the idea...EXCEPT fore the ludicrous big Harem. Sorry but thats just...realy REALY dumb in my eyes, I realy dont get the appeal of that in the slightest. Yeah 3 ore 4 girls but...22?! Thats just too many fore a multitude of reasons.
10/7 c2 Darkjaden
wtf 22 harem members.
9/28 c76 8Light Hero Kaiser
Most interesting great chapter mate can't wait for more and that was a dragon ball abridged reference!
9/27 c76 Borello
good work.
9/26 c76 65CMXB
Nice
9/26 c76 9Dragon King of the West
Good chapter, Menma's biggest weakness is his arrogance. The rivalry between him and Yuto is not over by a long shot.
9/26 c1 Jon211107
Aight isn’t not looking good
It feels rushed
8/31 c15 Now
I was reminded of why I dropped this.
You basically cut out a number who I thought would work well. And, I admit, top of those was Hinata.
Honestly, that was the blow that broke the bow.
So sad...
8/31 c12 What the
Mess?
8/31 c11 Please
Space out sentences, and try not making your writing into a gigantic run-on paragraph.
Spacing and separating into separate paragraphs would allow better flow, especially for those who may find dazzling to try to keep up with where they were reading from.
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