for Game of Kingdoms15h c45 bleacherspam1
I agree with some of the other posters. You are a great and talented writer, and you do have full authority on what you like writing about, but this has been an absolute grueling section to read. Early on it was introducing the character, developing relationships, the fight with the Drumms, awakening, meeting Robert, going North, going around the world, saving people, and just an amazing fast paced adventure that went in depth where needed but felt like you were progressing the story and creating a character. It also showed Cregan increasing in power over time.
Since basically Chapter 27, the story has been stuck in an absolute mud with a few recognizable characters but many OCs, hyper focus on minor battles, Cregan barely grows in power and place, few relationships are developed, and all in all it seems like the pace has crawled to such a standstill. I used to get excited for the "Game of Kingdoms" releases because it was always a question of what would happen next and what new stories and relationships would be explored. Now, I am fairly indifferent because it feels like no matter what the story remains in the same place.
This isn't to criticize but to critique. You have great ideas and are a talented author but the pacing has really sucked the life out of the story for me.
I agree with some of the other posters. You are a great and talented writer, and you do have full authority on what you like writing about, but this has been an absolute grueling section to read. Early on it was introducing the character, developing relationships, the fight with the Drumms, awakening, meeting Robert, going North, going around the world, saving people, and just an amazing fast paced adventure that went in depth where needed but felt like you were progressing the story and creating a character. It also showed Cregan increasing in power over time.
Since basically Chapter 27, the story has been stuck in an absolute mud with a few recognizable characters but many OCs, hyper focus on minor battles, Cregan barely grows in power and place, few relationships are developed, and all in all it seems like the pace has crawled to such a standstill. I used to get excited for the "Game of Kingdoms" releases because it was always a question of what would happen next and what new stories and relationships would be explored. Now, I am fairly indifferent because it feels like no matter what the story remains in the same place.
This isn't to criticize but to critique. You have great ideas and are a talented author but the pacing has really sucked the life out of the story for me.
18h c45 Tony McNucklz
A spectacular finish. And another story to be told. I think Robert will most certainly remember him, and most likely has quite enjiyed vicariously living through his battles, hearing tales of battle is one of his faforite pasttimes after all.
A spectacular finish. And another story to be told. I think Robert will most certainly remember him, and most likely has quite enjiyed vicariously living through his battles, hearing tales of battle is one of his faforite pasttimes after all.
4/6 c44 Blue-Happens
the last 20 odd chapters are oddly paced.
they all cover mc's conquest/takeover of the stepstones. considering its all about fighting pirates, its remarkably bland.
the first 26-7 chapters cover massive amounts of time, showing him from literally in the womb to a young teen knight. this part is fun, well paced, and makes general sense for GoT, except for an absence of the dark shiz and character death.
from then on, mr MC starts on his thing with the stepstones, and the pace suddenly slows down to a crawl. instead of years per chapter, and months long time skips, we get a grueling, hyper detailed expose oh how exactly, specifically he takes over the stepstones, not even island to isle, but port to port action.
the first 10 chapters of this are frankly, really cool. but then it goes on. and on. with the same stuff, slightly different, and time advancing at a snails pace. i could barely get myself to actually read chapters 40.
as a person who is not an author, i feel your overall pacing would be better if there was a timeskip here, or if some events were squished together more. idk. its slow as all hell though.
the last 20 odd chapters are oddly paced.
they all cover mc's conquest/takeover of the stepstones. considering its all about fighting pirates, its remarkably bland.
the first 26-7 chapters cover massive amounts of time, showing him from literally in the womb to a young teen knight. this part is fun, well paced, and makes general sense for GoT, except for an absence of the dark shiz and character death.
from then on, mr MC starts on his thing with the stepstones, and the pace suddenly slows down to a crawl. instead of years per chapter, and months long time skips, we get a grueling, hyper detailed expose oh how exactly, specifically he takes over the stepstones, not even island to isle, but port to port action.
the first 10 chapters of this are frankly, really cool. but then it goes on. and on. with the same stuff, slightly different, and time advancing at a snails pace. i could barely get myself to actually read chapters 40.
as a person who is not an author, i feel your overall pacing would be better if there was a timeskip here, or if some events were squished together more. idk. its slow as all hell though.
4/6 c35 Blue-Happens
what a wide, swathing path of death flags. they're everywhere i look this chapter. i hope dearly that the future is not bleak, but don't expect it to be
what a wide, swathing path of death flags. they're everywhere i look this chapter. i hope dearly that the future is not bleak, but don't expect it to be
4/4 c1 Blue-Happens
i was going from re-reading a new player in the force, to the sequal a gathering storm, qnd i saw this on your author page, just had to read it.
my favorite insert fic for GoT is some self indulgant story where captain america is dropped out of the sky in the north. its very fun
we'll see how this one ranks with that
i was going from re-reading a new player in the force, to the sequal a gathering storm, qnd i saw this on your author page, just had to read it.
my favorite insert fic for GoT is some self indulgant story where captain america is dropped out of the sky in the north. its very fun
we'll see how this one ranks with that
3/25 c34 
1Slycerr
I hope you at least take bestial bonds after the comet, as i feel the trait would not only enhance himself but also his companions such a Ymir (who is constantly i pn danger by fighting without a lot of protection.
1SlycerrI hope you at least take bestial bonds after the comet, as i feel the trait would not only enhance himself but also his companions such a Ymir (who is constantly i pn danger by fighting without a lot of protection.
3/17 c25 Z3RO
the branch, what the hell did he do with it?! A bow i imagine but when are we gonna see it?
the branch, what the hell did he do with it?! A bow i imagine but when are we gonna see it?