
6/21 c1
1Grasshoppa
Clearly loves adding little details that never and would never happen. Sure we don’t have like or forgive rude people but his solution is violence? Sure talking would get out details and the sympathy of his and her audience but that wouldn’t excuse his behaviour and guess what he’s (issei) is not looking for it since honestly what good would that do after being fucked over so bad, so why not hate world anyway. He’s definitely not going to live forever, especially after using juggernaut drive so his vengeance came with a price. Why would he give a fuck anymore in how he lives or be.
Plus you severely underestimated GAIWP issei’s strength so I’m going take my time with this bashing fic.
And yes I’m a fan of both fahad09 and third fang.

Clearly loves adding little details that never and would never happen. Sure we don’t have like or forgive rude people but his solution is violence? Sure talking would get out details and the sympathy of his and her audience but that wouldn’t excuse his behaviour and guess what he’s (issei) is not looking for it since honestly what good would that do after being fucked over so bad, so why not hate world anyway. He’s definitely not going to live forever, especially after using juggernaut drive so his vengeance came with a price. Why would he give a fuck anymore in how he lives or be.
Plus you severely underestimated GAIWP issei’s strength so I’m going take my time with this bashing fic.
And yes I’m a fan of both fahad09 and third fang.
3/12 c1
17EternalKnight219
This just seems like a vent fic. Nothing more. Color me not impressed using a character from one story to pretty much flagellate another because they don't deserve sympathy in your opinion. The problem with that is that Third Fang's story is not complete. Let's face it. He's not done with it. How do you know that these character defects that both Issei and Jasmine have don't get addressed and eventually rectified? The answer is you don't. Issei's character arc isn't done by a long shot in that story and he hasn't been completely fleshed out yet. He may yet get the help he needs. Until then, people really need to let him finish the damn story before casting aspersions.
The only reason I'm writing this now is that I have no intention of continuing to read your story. It is clearly just you venting at Third Fang.

This just seems like a vent fic. Nothing more. Color me not impressed using a character from one story to pretty much flagellate another because they don't deserve sympathy in your opinion. The problem with that is that Third Fang's story is not complete. Let's face it. He's not done with it. How do you know that these character defects that both Issei and Jasmine have don't get addressed and eventually rectified? The answer is you don't. Issei's character arc isn't done by a long shot in that story and he hasn't been completely fleshed out yet. He may yet get the help he needs. Until then, people really need to let him finish the damn story before casting aspersions.
The only reason I'm writing this now is that I have no intention of continuing to read your story. It is clearly just you venting at Third Fang.
6/26/2022 c5 GrandSaberEMIYA
I’m glad you posted this entire fic, I love A demon lords hero and I think that a Third Fang is a great author, that being said I completely understand how you feel about his DxD fic, I’ve felt the same way sometimes to an extent. Combining the two and having Shirou pay Issei a quick visit is the perfect way to handle this, I’m glad you wrote this and also glad that I came across it!
I’m glad you posted this entire fic, I love A demon lords hero and I think that a Third Fang is a great author, that being said I completely understand how you feel about his DxD fic, I’ve felt the same way sometimes to an extent. Combining the two and having Shirou pay Issei a quick visit is the perfect way to handle this, I’m glad you wrote this and also glad that I came across it!
5/13/2022 c5 Pablo
Gojira56
Gary Stu: Written character with a dark past, great power and skills or abilities that make him capable of resolving any conflict or impossible to defeat. It is normally the type of character used by beginning or amateur authors, as they have no experience.
My problem with Issei from Go away... is that of being a GARY STU
Gary Stu: Personaje escrito con un pasado oscuro, gran poder y habilidades o capacidades que lo hacen capaz de resolver cualquier conflicto o imposible de vencer. Normalmente es el tipo de personaje usado por autores principiantes o amateurs, al no tener experiencia.
Mi problema con Issei de Go away... es el de ser un GARY STU
Gojira56
Gary Stu: Written character with a dark past, great power and skills or abilities that make him capable of resolving any conflict or impossible to defeat. It is normally the type of character used by beginning or amateur authors, as they have no experience.
My problem with Issei from Go away... is that of being a GARY STU
Gary Stu: Personaje escrito con un pasado oscuro, gran poder y habilidades o capacidades que lo hacen capaz de resolver cualquier conflicto o imposible de vencer. Normalmente es el tipo de personaje usado por autores principiantes o amateurs, al no tener experiencia.
Mi problema con Issei de Go away... es el de ser un GARY STU
5/11/2022 c1 Pixie Duck
Well, Third Fang's "Go Away I'm Watching Porn" is pure trash, but Fahad09's "A Demon Lord's Hero" isn't any better. His Kokabiel is pure cringe and not a single character resemble its true self. He just used names and powers and pretended that he was writing Shirou and DXD universe.
Both stories are overhyped trash that shouldn't exist along with their trash OCs
Well, Third Fang's "Go Away I'm Watching Porn" is pure trash, but Fahad09's "A Demon Lord's Hero" isn't any better. His Kokabiel is pure cringe and not a single character resemble its true self. He just used names and powers and pretended that he was writing Shirou and DXD universe.
Both stories are overhyped trash that shouldn't exist along with their trash OCs
5/10/2022 c5
26Bigby the Big Bad Wolf
Ooooh boy. Short but Shirou really drove the point home. At least things didn't escalate. Again, while I know sometimes words won't get through to everyone, it is pleasing to see when they actually do, course a little force can help as long it opens the person's eyes and not just them changing out of fear of being attacked again. Though the tricky part is how much character development is needed to set things right and Issei still has a LONG way to go. But it IS a step in the right direction. It almost makes me curious to see the fallout of Issei trying to make up for his actions but sometimes it's better to leave things as is before you go any further down the rabbit hole.
Course some people might be smart asses who are like "Well if you're not gonna see things through to the end, why even bother writing this?"
It was to make a point, not rewrite the entire story. But some people don't care and will use any excuse they can to attack. Or, as I have been shown, some people WILL be up for having an actual, civil discussion about the story. I love when people can actually talk about things they like/dislike about something without it being turned into an argument and then possibly a flame war. Why can't it always be like that? Why can't we always have civil discussions?
Okay, okay, I better tone it down. Bottom line is, I'm glad someone who has the power to can stand up to Issei and yet while putting him in his place, show him the error of his ways and help him get better. But it's still up to the man of the hour himself to improve, as I mentioned before. Shirou still has his work cut out for him but I believe he could pull it off. Guy always pulls through when others need him.

Ooooh boy. Short but Shirou really drove the point home. At least things didn't escalate. Again, while I know sometimes words won't get through to everyone, it is pleasing to see when they actually do, course a little force can help as long it opens the person's eyes and not just them changing out of fear of being attacked again. Though the tricky part is how much character development is needed to set things right and Issei still has a LONG way to go. But it IS a step in the right direction. It almost makes me curious to see the fallout of Issei trying to make up for his actions but sometimes it's better to leave things as is before you go any further down the rabbit hole.
Course some people might be smart asses who are like "Well if you're not gonna see things through to the end, why even bother writing this?"
It was to make a point, not rewrite the entire story. But some people don't care and will use any excuse they can to attack. Or, as I have been shown, some people WILL be up for having an actual, civil discussion about the story. I love when people can actually talk about things they like/dislike about something without it being turned into an argument and then possibly a flame war. Why can't it always be like that? Why can't we always have civil discussions?
Okay, okay, I better tone it down. Bottom line is, I'm glad someone who has the power to can stand up to Issei and yet while putting him in his place, show him the error of his ways and help him get better. But it's still up to the man of the hour himself to improve, as I mentioned before. Shirou still has his work cut out for him but I believe he could pull it off. Guy always pulls through when others need him.
5/10/2022 c5
6AinzNamikazeD
On the one hand, I feel that people have completely missed the point with the Third fangs story, on the other hand, I understand where you're coming from.
I, honestly don't have any strong opinions on the third fang, His Naruto fics are kinda wack, and not all the particularly entertaining besides as a sort of loony toons that occasionally tries to act all serious before realizing that it's being stupid and goes back to loony toon antics.
But, I will say, that without question, Go away I'm watching porn is the best wrtting DXD fic on this site, in my opinion. That's not a very high bar to set, but still.
Yes, Issei is an ass, but I also completely understand where he's coming from. Simply put, he was on the path to success, when he was then systematically betrayed by essentially every single person who had claimed that they were on his side, and then had every thing that was going for him taken away. All while he was a twelve year old. Also, I'm pretty sure that his dad was murdered because of people wanting to take advantage of him. Simply put, I'm surprised that people think he goes overboard with being an ass when it is very clearly stated in the fic that when he's acting like one it's either a coping mechanism because he's nervous about being around people, or because he's expecting to get smacked. He's acting like an ass because that's how people have treated him all his life in most social situations, something that I'm unfortunately familiar with.
Overall, this doesn't seem like a well put together way of how Fharad's Shirou would act in the GAIWP world, it ultimately just seems like a shitty SI-OC into that world that just happens to have his powers. Yes, Jasmine and Vali and asses, but honeslty, who can blame them? Their best friend was betrayed and severely hurt by a group of very powerful people, and then forcibly calmed down when naturally he flipped his shit and was sent away to try and recover. Now, their friend is being forcibly dragged back into things by said group of powerful people, all in the name of helping him recover, when really it's stil them trying to cover their asses for their fuck-up all those years ago. And they can't really do anything about it because it legitemately is the best thing possible for their friend. So they grudginly go along with it, but of course they're going to be petty. I would too.
Tl: Dw, This seems like at best a rage wrtted criticism of a story that didn't pan out the way that someone thought it would, and at worst, a petty stab of jelously at a much more successful writer. Stop sucking off Shirou when it's really just the imagined version of him that you have in your head.

On the one hand, I feel that people have completely missed the point with the Third fangs story, on the other hand, I understand where you're coming from.
I, honestly don't have any strong opinions on the third fang, His Naruto fics are kinda wack, and not all the particularly entertaining besides as a sort of loony toons that occasionally tries to act all serious before realizing that it's being stupid and goes back to loony toon antics.
But, I will say, that without question, Go away I'm watching porn is the best wrtting DXD fic on this site, in my opinion. That's not a very high bar to set, but still.
Yes, Issei is an ass, but I also completely understand where he's coming from. Simply put, he was on the path to success, when he was then systematically betrayed by essentially every single person who had claimed that they were on his side, and then had every thing that was going for him taken away. All while he was a twelve year old. Also, I'm pretty sure that his dad was murdered because of people wanting to take advantage of him. Simply put, I'm surprised that people think he goes overboard with being an ass when it is very clearly stated in the fic that when he's acting like one it's either a coping mechanism because he's nervous about being around people, or because he's expecting to get smacked. He's acting like an ass because that's how people have treated him all his life in most social situations, something that I'm unfortunately familiar with.
Overall, this doesn't seem like a well put together way of how Fharad's Shirou would act in the GAIWP world, it ultimately just seems like a shitty SI-OC into that world that just happens to have his powers. Yes, Jasmine and Vali and asses, but honeslty, who can blame them? Their best friend was betrayed and severely hurt by a group of very powerful people, and then forcibly calmed down when naturally he flipped his shit and was sent away to try and recover. Now, their friend is being forcibly dragged back into things by said group of powerful people, all in the name of helping him recover, when really it's stil them trying to cover their asses for their fuck-up all those years ago. And they can't really do anything about it because it legitemately is the best thing possible for their friend. So they grudginly go along with it, but of course they're going to be petty. I would too.
Tl: Dw, This seems like at best a rage wrtted criticism of a story that didn't pan out the way that someone thought it would, and at worst, a petty stab of jelously at a much more successful writer. Stop sucking off Shirou when it's really just the imagined version of him that you have in your head.
5/8/2022 c5 Gojira56
This was pleasant, feels much more like a concession than the chapter that has that title, especially given what happened last chapter. I personally feel you should have just made this a part of "Conclusion", but oh well. For my part, I've officially put the original story behind me. I wish I could forget it, but unlike FFD, it's quite memorable, even if in a bad way. As I said before, my excitement for this story has cooled considerably, though I still like it, for reasons I've already stated. The bit with Excalibur was beautiful, and it actually made Issei look pitiable, and BOY, does saying that make me feel weird.
Anyway, an overall pleasant and proper interquel between Concession and Conclusion, and I hope this inspires you to write more fics that aren't just complaints or criticisms... though even some of the really good fics on this site tend to be like that, so maybe I should be hoping you can turn such a concept into a fully-fledged story someday. Good luck!
PS
I know your Konosuba fic isn't like that, aside from that Senna chapter, though that one made sense. Anyway, bye!
This was pleasant, feels much more like a concession than the chapter that has that title, especially given what happened last chapter. I personally feel you should have just made this a part of "Conclusion", but oh well. For my part, I've officially put the original story behind me. I wish I could forget it, but unlike FFD, it's quite memorable, even if in a bad way. As I said before, my excitement for this story has cooled considerably, though I still like it, for reasons I've already stated. The bit with Excalibur was beautiful, and it actually made Issei look pitiable, and BOY, does saying that make me feel weird.
Anyway, an overall pleasant and proper interquel between Concession and Conclusion, and I hope this inspires you to write more fics that aren't just complaints or criticisms... though even some of the really good fics on this site tend to be like that, so maybe I should be hoping you can turn such a concept into a fully-fledged story someday. Good luck!
PS
I know your Konosuba fic isn't like that, aside from that Senna chapter, though that one made sense. Anyway, bye!
5/8/2022 c4 Gojira56
My feelings on this story have cooled, and you got a few things wrong... which you admit to. Still, it is nice to see Issei getting called out on his hypocrisy (again), even if it does seem a little repetitive.
In response to Pablo, Issei's behavior CANNOT be forgiven: a tragic past can explain Issei's demeanor, but it in no way justifies his actions, especially when he's committing them against people he KNOWS are completely innocent while simultaneously mocking them for not knowing what he's talking about AND refusing to change that. That is what this story is about, even if it doesn't handle it in the best way; whereas the original story just keeps indulging him, giving him no reason to stop acting like a jerk because it isn't leading to negative consequences. And regarding tantrums, Third Fang isn't incapable of throwing them, either, such as when he got drunk and claimed his critics "lack critical thinking." He seems to have calmed down and I enjoyed chatting with him (I hope you bury the hatchet with him one day, Pyro), but in the end, his story is very, VERY flawed, and this one gives those of us who are sick of his refusal to address said flaws some catharsis. Is it the best kind? No, but it's something. At least he throws Issei and Jasmine a bone after pulling their heads out of their respective asses.
Overall, a flawed, but decent bonus. I look forward to the next one.
My feelings on this story have cooled, and you got a few things wrong... which you admit to. Still, it is nice to see Issei getting called out on his hypocrisy (again), even if it does seem a little repetitive.
In response to Pablo, Issei's behavior CANNOT be forgiven: a tragic past can explain Issei's demeanor, but it in no way justifies his actions, especially when he's committing them against people he KNOWS are completely innocent while simultaneously mocking them for not knowing what he's talking about AND refusing to change that. That is what this story is about, even if it doesn't handle it in the best way; whereas the original story just keeps indulging him, giving him no reason to stop acting like a jerk because it isn't leading to negative consequences. And regarding tantrums, Third Fang isn't incapable of throwing them, either, such as when he got drunk and claimed his critics "lack critical thinking." He seems to have calmed down and I enjoyed chatting with him (I hope you bury the hatchet with him one day, Pyro), but in the end, his story is very, VERY flawed, and this one gives those of us who are sick of his refusal to address said flaws some catharsis. Is it the best kind? No, but it's something. At least he throws Issei and Jasmine a bone after pulling their heads out of their respective asses.
Overall, a flawed, but decent bonus. I look forward to the next one.
5/6/2022 c4 Pablo
I see you with pity, throwing a tantrum, but seeing that your other stories are complaints. I read the story you want to fix, I read at certain point that Issei diagnoses a disease in a woman, watching one or more porn videos in which she participates. That, coupled with a dark past, for which his behavior is forgiven; his ability to learn and his power, transformed him into Vali Lucifer... oh I mean a Gary Stu. Issei Hyoudou's story is that of a normal human, without training of any kind, with the bad or good luck of having a Sacred Gear, which could make him unstoppable. Making him a Gary Stu is the biggest mistake in that story
Te veo con lástima, hacer un berrinhe, pero viendo que tus otras historias son quejas.
Leí la historia que quieres arreglar, leí en un punto que Issei, diagnostica una enfermedad en una mujer, observando uno o varios videos pornos en que ella participa. Eso, junto con un pasado oscuro, por lo que se le perdona su comportamiento; su habilidad para aprender y su poder, lo transformó en Vali Lucifer... ah digo un Gary Stu.
La historia de Issei Hyodou, es la de un humano normal, sin entrenamiento de ningún tipo, con la mala o buena suerte de tener un Sacred Gear, que lo podría hacer imparable. Hacerlo un Gary Stu es el mayor error de esa historia.
I see you with pity, throwing a tantrum, but seeing that your other stories are complaints. I read the story you want to fix, I read at certain point that Issei diagnoses a disease in a woman, watching one or more porn videos in which she participates. That, coupled with a dark past, for which his behavior is forgiven; his ability to learn and his power, transformed him into Vali Lucifer... oh I mean a Gary Stu. Issei Hyoudou's story is that of a normal human, without training of any kind, with the bad or good luck of having a Sacred Gear, which could make him unstoppable. Making him a Gary Stu is the biggest mistake in that story
Te veo con lástima, hacer un berrinhe, pero viendo que tus otras historias son quejas.
Leí la historia que quieres arreglar, leí en un punto que Issei, diagnostica una enfermedad en una mujer, observando uno o varios videos pornos en que ella participa. Eso, junto con un pasado oscuro, por lo que se le perdona su comportamiento; su habilidad para aprender y su poder, lo transformó en Vali Lucifer... ah digo un Gary Stu.
La historia de Issei Hyodou, es la de un humano normal, sin entrenamiento de ningún tipo, con la mala o buena suerte de tener un Sacred Gear, que lo podría hacer imparable. Hacerlo un Gary Stu es el mayor error de esa historia.
5/7/2022 c3 Sierra903
I have the same opinion as you about that story. I'm really glad you wrote this as I did as you wrote in your author's note and dropped the story after reading just the first chapter because of the characters. It's really nice to see them get some consequences, even if it's not in the canon story.
I have the same opinion as you about that story. I'm really glad you wrote this as I did as you wrote in your author's note and dropped the story after reading just the first chapter because of the characters. It's really nice to see them get some consequences, even if it's not in the canon story.
5/6/2022 c4
26Bigby the Big Bad Wolf
Needless to say, a moment like this has been a long time coming.
A little off topic but I have read stories where the character does get called out on their behavior but the author has the character shrug it off because they don't care as long as they get what they want. It really astounds me when authors make their characters as unlikeable as possible and yet expect the readers to root for them.
Anyway, I'm glad to see that not only was Shirou actually able to get through to Issei, the other characters make it perfectly clear they aren't having any of his antics either. Now I am a petty person so I wouldn't mind if Issei got knocked around a bit. However, as petty as I am, a beatdown would not only be out of place in this chapter but sometimes getting physical can make the situation worse. There's a time and a place for everything and here was more of a time for words than action.
That got really philosophical didn't it?
All in all, I'm glad Shirou was able to help Issei get his head out of his ass. Something tells me there will be moments where he backslides into how he used to be (Rome wasn't built in a day) but with everyone getting involved, his change into a better person is far more likely to happen. I honestly can't believe I'm saying this but I hope the best for Issei and everyone involved. Hopefully their story can have a true happy ending.

Needless to say, a moment like this has been a long time coming.
A little off topic but I have read stories where the character does get called out on their behavior but the author has the character shrug it off because they don't care as long as they get what they want. It really astounds me when authors make their characters as unlikeable as possible and yet expect the readers to root for them.
Anyway, I'm glad to see that not only was Shirou actually able to get through to Issei, the other characters make it perfectly clear they aren't having any of his antics either. Now I am a petty person so I wouldn't mind if Issei got knocked around a bit. However, as petty as I am, a beatdown would not only be out of place in this chapter but sometimes getting physical can make the situation worse. There's a time and a place for everything and here was more of a time for words than action.
That got really philosophical didn't it?
All in all, I'm glad Shirou was able to help Issei get his head out of his ass. Something tells me there will be moments where he backslides into how he used to be (Rome wasn't built in a day) but with everyone getting involved, his change into a better person is far more likely to happen. I honestly can't believe I'm saying this but I hope the best for Issei and everyone involved. Hopefully their story can have a true happy ending.
4/24/2022 c1 scout360pyro
Now, I don't think Third fang has the sun up his ass shining down on us (I remember darn well his earliest writing) So let's get that out of the way.
But this has to be the weirdest thing I have seen in fanfiction. People getting mad that a writer is writing fucked up characters in a fucked up world, and writing revenge fanfics... Not to mention some of the reviews are even weirder...
People mad that a characters backstory is why they are acting the way they are?
Heck of a way to vent, but it's more constructive than most.
I suppose what makes the least sense to me are these odd expectations of rationality and morals you and some of the reviewers have for inhuman characters, one of which was heavily traumatized by an eldritch god...
A heavy underlying theme you see imposed in Third fangs custom multiverse is the abandonment of reason and morality expressed by his high tier OCs as a necessary thing to mentally withstand the horrors of infinite possibilities. And that insanity filters down to those touched by said eldritch beings and dimensional hoppers.
Meanwhile you have the whole fallen angel thing and that whole set of inhuman concepts... I ain't gonna touch his reasoning there but you guys seem way too eager to treat every being as if they are humans with the same culture, while the author often thrives on making that sort of perspective crash and burn.
Weird shit.
You do you I suppose. But I am seeing such an odd idealogical clash going on here I decided to write something.
On the writing side of things you clearly put way too much anger and frustration in your writing. Despite your attempts to justify it with Fahad's Shirou's context (which is adequate) you don't do nearly enough to flesh it out, and it comes off as quite shallow and rushed. Hell it's almost like, as a writing process, you just grabbed the nearest badass to shove in and do what you wanted, and then rushed to justify it later.
Feels like a major disservice to Fahad's Emiya to do that. You have all you need to work it into something deeper... But hey; this is clearly a venting fic more than anything else. I just wanted to give some actual writing critique.
I also don't think you did so well with Emiyas voice in this. He comes across far too strongly as YOU speaking, not him speaking. It works fine for a lot of things, but clashes with what you got going here.
Huh...this is probably the first time I have ever cared about what other reviewers are saying as well. I never check the reviews despite having been here for more than a decade.
Anyways, I think you got a very interesting concept here, but I also feel that your reasons for writing this are hampering your actual ability to do it justice, and I am saddened by that.
It's been a year since you started this so I doubt it matters much.
Now, I don't think Third fang has the sun up his ass shining down on us (I remember darn well his earliest writing) So let's get that out of the way.
But this has to be the weirdest thing I have seen in fanfiction. People getting mad that a writer is writing fucked up characters in a fucked up world, and writing revenge fanfics... Not to mention some of the reviews are even weirder...
People mad that a characters backstory is why they are acting the way they are?
Heck of a way to vent, but it's more constructive than most.
I suppose what makes the least sense to me are these odd expectations of rationality and morals you and some of the reviewers have for inhuman characters, one of which was heavily traumatized by an eldritch god...
A heavy underlying theme you see imposed in Third fangs custom multiverse is the abandonment of reason and morality expressed by his high tier OCs as a necessary thing to mentally withstand the horrors of infinite possibilities. And that insanity filters down to those touched by said eldritch beings and dimensional hoppers.
Meanwhile you have the whole fallen angel thing and that whole set of inhuman concepts... I ain't gonna touch his reasoning there but you guys seem way too eager to treat every being as if they are humans with the same culture, while the author often thrives on making that sort of perspective crash and burn.
Weird shit.
You do you I suppose. But I am seeing such an odd idealogical clash going on here I decided to write something.
On the writing side of things you clearly put way too much anger and frustration in your writing. Despite your attempts to justify it with Fahad's Shirou's context (which is adequate) you don't do nearly enough to flesh it out, and it comes off as quite shallow and rushed. Hell it's almost like, as a writing process, you just grabbed the nearest badass to shove in and do what you wanted, and then rushed to justify it later.
Feels like a major disservice to Fahad's Emiya to do that. You have all you need to work it into something deeper... But hey; this is clearly a venting fic more than anything else. I just wanted to give some actual writing critique.
I also don't think you did so well with Emiyas voice in this. He comes across far too strongly as YOU speaking, not him speaking. It works fine for a lot of things, but clashes with what you got going here.
Huh...this is probably the first time I have ever cared about what other reviewers are saying as well. I never check the reviews despite having been here for more than a decade.
Anyways, I think you got a very interesting concept here, but I also feel that your reasons for writing this are hampering your actual ability to do it justice, and I am saddened by that.
It's been a year since you started this so I doubt it matters much.