for The House of Potter-Greengrass4/28/2023 c54 Hank1967
Excellent chapter! Enjoyed the marriages, especially the unicorn drawn coach that Hagrid provided. Loved the level of detail in the story and the pleasant banter between friends. Rather interesting that the Goblins provided an honor guard for Harry and Daphne's wedding. Looking forward to finding out more about that... Glad to see Alice and Frank waking up. Really enjoyed the banter there at the end between them all. That was very well written. Thanks for all the quick updates! Can't wait to see what's next!
Excellent chapter! Enjoyed the marriages, especially the unicorn drawn coach that Hagrid provided. Loved the level of detail in the story and the pleasant banter between friends. Rather interesting that the Goblins provided an honor guard for Harry and Daphne's wedding. Looking forward to finding out more about that... Glad to see Alice and Frank waking up. Really enjoyed the banter there at the end between them all. That was very well written. Thanks for all the quick updates! Can't wait to see what's next!
34/23/2023 c53 Hank1967
Excellent chapter! Glad to see that Harry, Sirius and Remus were able to find Camelot. To be so close, yet still so far away would be annoying. Glad to see they're taking their time before going into the city proper. I'm sure Daphne would be upset if Harry got himself hurt... Enjoyed the omake, too! Enjoyed seeing Harry being less serious for once (although he was being more like Sirius utilizing his Animagus form). ;-) Bad pun, I know... Fifty lashes with a wet noodle. Also enjoyed Daphne keeping up with him and allowing the both of them to get one over on Astoria. Can't wait to see what's next! Update soon please!
Excellent chapter! Glad to see that Harry, Sirius and Remus were able to find Camelot. To be so close, yet still so far away would be annoying. Glad to see they're taking their time before going into the city proper. I'm sure Daphne would be upset if Harry got himself hurt... Enjoyed the omake, too! Enjoyed seeing Harry being less serious for once (although he was being more like Sirius utilizing his Animagus form). ;-) Bad pun, I know... Fifty lashes with a wet noodle. Also enjoyed Daphne keeping up with him and allowing the both of them to get one over on Astoria. Can't wait to see what's next! Update soon please!
4/23/2023 c52 Hank1967
Excellent chapter! However, one thing did have me almost rolling out of my chair laughing - it is a traditional wedding march, not a dirge, unless you are Al Bundy of course... Dirges are for funerals, although after two divorces, I do find it rather fitting! ;-) Rather interesting for old Zabini to show up there at the end. Wonder what's going to come about as a result of that... Off to the next chapter!
Excellent chapter! However, one thing did have me almost rolling out of my chair laughing - it is a traditional wedding march, not a dirge, unless you are Al Bundy of course... Dirges are for funerals, although after two divorces, I do find it rather fitting! ;-) Rather interesting for old Zabini to show up there at the end. Wonder what's going to come about as a result of that... Off to the next chapter!
4/20/2023 c53 Runecutter
Oh, this has quite a few grammar mishaps, did you lose your Beta?
"his own grandfather that caused him to not only have a father..."
have no father and neither any of the other men i have fallen for.
"the curse i lain on you" I laid on you or I have lain on you
"she had a desire too" to.
"Her father had not only curse her but.." cursed
"Danny can I see Slytherin common room" the Slytherin common room or Slytherin's common room.
"Nor was it always easy to see these fine young adults get to stand before you." Something must have gotten mixed up here, cause i do not understand what Minerva is saying here.
"Accomodations" that too makes no sense to me. Do you mean Achievements? Distinctions? Honors? Is it a translation problem from your native system into the english style grading? Accom might imply "accomplishments" but that seems unusual as honorific for a graduate too.
"I would like to say that Mrs. Thather-Grangers two Accomodations is worth celebrating too." Granger's and "are worth".
"inclined head as assign of gratitude" as a sign.
"the last classes to make such high achievements was the classes around Lily Evans..." Either both times it has to be "class", which would grammatically make more sense anyway or it would have to be "were the classes around".
"The status of Full witch or wizard" what's that?
"would like to present the school with a gift for our gratitude"
This sentence feels wrong, although i'm not sure how to formulate it better. "a gift as sign of our gratitude" maybe.
"She rose an eyebrow" raised
"My self and ..." myself, one word.
"as we are so thankful" grateful.
"I can never thank the professor enough for passing .." professors, as she obviously includes all of them (some more deservedly than others ;)) Also there needs to be a for before leading in the latter half of the sentence.
"As much as other classes had had achievements" ... that is slightly contradicting her previous thought that this year group is the most impressive since the graduating class of 78 (which included Harry's parents and their friends).
"but there wedding would be nothing like" ... their
"beginning of May and so for over four hundred had" ... so far
"You don't have too, Hermione" to
"miss the nights i don't get to lay with him" ... lie with him. Unless you mean they were tiling their Hogwarts quarters? ;)
Mixing meters and yards is not ideal.
There is one Camelod in between the other mentions of Camelot. If that is intentionally you might wish to point it out how it was different from the later legends or use it consistently from then on.
"Dragons have been thought to be exist for at least that long" extinct
"It's such a waist" waste
"quarts" quartz
"Rogthrots law" Rogthrot's law
And the Omake. I haven't seen as much, but i might be out of concentration by now.
"a squelching, liquidly sound" liquidly is an adverb and would describe how a verb behaves. I'm not sure if it wouldn't be liquidy anyways. You need either liquid or just flip to "wet, squelching" which sounds a bit less stilted.
"basinet" double ss bassinet (or bassinette, also cradle)
Oh, this has quite a few grammar mishaps, did you lose your Beta?
"his own grandfather that caused him to not only have a father..."
have no father and neither any of the other men i have fallen for.
"the curse i lain on you" I laid on you or I have lain on you
"she had a desire too" to.
"Her father had not only curse her but.." cursed
"Danny can I see Slytherin common room" the Slytherin common room or Slytherin's common room.
"Nor was it always easy to see these fine young adults get to stand before you." Something must have gotten mixed up here, cause i do not understand what Minerva is saying here.
"Accomodations" that too makes no sense to me. Do you mean Achievements? Distinctions? Honors? Is it a translation problem from your native system into the english style grading? Accom might imply "accomplishments" but that seems unusual as honorific for a graduate too.
"I would like to say that Mrs. Thather-Grangers two Accomodations is worth celebrating too." Granger's and "are worth".
"inclined head as assign of gratitude" as a sign.
"the last classes to make such high achievements was the classes around Lily Evans..." Either both times it has to be "class", which would grammatically make more sense anyway or it would have to be "were the classes around".
"The status of Full witch or wizard" what's that?
"would like to present the school with a gift for our gratitude"
This sentence feels wrong, although i'm not sure how to formulate it better. "a gift as sign of our gratitude" maybe.
"She rose an eyebrow" raised
"My self and ..." myself, one word.
"as we are so thankful" grateful.
"I can never thank the professor enough for passing .." professors, as she obviously includes all of them (some more deservedly than others ;)) Also there needs to be a for before leading in the latter half of the sentence.
"As much as other classes had had achievements" ... that is slightly contradicting her previous thought that this year group is the most impressive since the graduating class of 78 (which included Harry's parents and their friends).
"but there wedding would be nothing like" ... their
"beginning of May and so for over four hundred had" ... so far
"You don't have too, Hermione" to
"miss the nights i don't get to lay with him" ... lie with him. Unless you mean they were tiling their Hogwarts quarters? ;)
Mixing meters and yards is not ideal.
There is one Camelod in between the other mentions of Camelot. If that is intentionally you might wish to point it out how it was different from the later legends or use it consistently from then on.
"Dragons have been thought to be exist for at least that long" extinct
"It's such a waist" waste
"quarts" quartz
"Rogthrots law" Rogthrot's law
And the Omake. I haven't seen as much, but i might be out of concentration by now.
"a squelching, liquidly sound" liquidly is an adverb and would describe how a verb behaves. I'm not sure if it wouldn't be liquidy anyways. You need either liquid or just flip to "wet, squelching" which sounds a bit less stilted.
"basinet" double ss bassinet (or bassinette, also cradle)
4/19/2023 c53 csheila
Nicely done chapter with personal and Camelot.
Great job weaving in all the story’s many characters
Nicely done chapter with personal and Camelot.
Great job weaving in all the story’s many characters
4/18/2023 c53 LAB1
I'm so glad that they finally found the hidden city! I wonder what they will find there!
I'm so glad that they finally found the hidden city! I wonder what they will find there!