for The House of Potter-Greengrass7/2 c10 Mikeblade
i hate how umbridge interupts and is not told to shout the fuck up since she should not be saying anything at all she not a lord of a house she does not have a vote at all and they don't let secretaries say shit so why does she get to do it.
i hate how umbridge interupts and is not told to shout the fuck up since she should not be saying anything at all she not a lord of a house she does not have a vote at all and they don't let secretaries say shit so why does she get to do it.
6/29 c6 Osmodious
These early chapters are a bit hard going…Harry is being such a little douche that he is nigh unlikeable. And it feels like you are setting the stage for Dumbles to get away with everything, at least for a while, just like every other story on this site (this part isn’t a you thing, it really is the case in like every story, and many times it is so unbelievable…). Hoping Harry calms his ass and actually stays in a room and asks questions instead of being a little dick and running off constantly…I would want to know the whys and realize that sulking off on my own wouldn’t get me those answers, but maybe your Harry is a bit of an idiot. We’ll see, I guess.
These early chapters are a bit hard going…Harry is being such a little douche that he is nigh unlikeable. And it feels like you are setting the stage for Dumbles to get away with everything, at least for a while, just like every other story on this site (this part isn’t a you thing, it really is the case in like every story, and many times it is so unbelievable…). Hoping Harry calms his ass and actually stays in a room and asks questions instead of being a little dick and running off constantly…I would want to know the whys and realize that sulking off on my own wouldn’t get me those answers, but maybe your Harry is a bit of an idiot. We’ll see, I guess.
6/29 c49 
53Taliesin The Eternal Bard
Just an FYI You're confusing the aorta The carotid artery Amilias wounds
53Taliesin The Eternal BardJust an FYI You're confusing the aorta The carotid artery Amilias wounds
6/25 c4 DodgyReptile
Just a wee detail you got wrong,
In the UK, check ups are done in kilogrammes and metres.
Other than that loving the story
Just a wee detail you got wrong,
In the UK, check ups are done in kilogrammes and metres.
Other than that loving the story
6/20 c32 Epeefencer
A fitting end for Voldywart. Too bad Dumbledore didn't bite it too
A fitting end for Voldywart. Too bad Dumbledore didn't bite it too
6/20 c31 Epeefencer
The fight with Voldydore was totally unrealistic. There was an Auror right outside the bathroom. As soon as one spell had been cast the Auror would have entered and joined the fight. As it was Voldydore was barely able to hold off Harry the addition of the Auror / Hit Wizard would have overcome Voldydore. Dumbledore was weakened as was Tom. In fact the way you had them written there is no way that they would have been able to overcome Harry. You have made a huge error in your writing, contradicting yourself and the characters you have written. It makes your story less believable.
The fight with Voldydore was totally unrealistic. There was an Auror right outside the bathroom. As soon as one spell had been cast the Auror would have entered and joined the fight. As it was Voldydore was barely able to hold off Harry the addition of the Auror / Hit Wizard would have overcome Voldydore. Dumbledore was weakened as was Tom. In fact the way you had them written there is no way that they would have been able to overcome Harry. You have made a huge error in your writing, contradicting yourself and the characters you have written. It makes your story less believable.
6/19 c3 Guest
This isn't supposed to be funny, but I couldn't help but laugh when Ron said they stole it from us! Because Gollum. X)) Thank for it!
This isn't supposed to be funny, but I couldn't help but laugh when Ron said they stole it from us! Because Gollum. X)) Thank for it!
6/18 c14 Guest
Sorry I can't believe that Snape could over come 8 Aurors to break Dumbledore out of prison
I'm sure that the Ministry would have other magical protections in place to prevent prisoners from escaping. I can't believe that Amelia would have so little protection in place. It would be totally out of character for her to do so.. I. Ör
Sorry I can't believe that Snape could over come 8 Aurors to break Dumbledore out of prison
I'm sure that the Ministry would have other magical protections in place to prevent prisoners from escaping. I can't believe that Amelia would have so little protection in place. It would be totally out of character for her to do so.. I. Ör
6/18 c11 Epeefencer
If I had written that last scene with Harry and Amelia I would have had Harry hug Amelia as a show of his growing trust.
If I had written that last scene with Harry and Amelia I would have had Harry hug Amelia as a show of his growing trust.
6/12 c8 hpmick13
I know Harry has had a tough time, but I hope in the near future there's less whiny behaviour and more action.
I know Harry has had a tough time, but I hope in the near future there's less whiny behaviour and more action.
5/31 c53 Taliesin The Eternal Bard
Another way you could have handled Philips birth was as a flashback!
Another way you could have handled Philips birth was as a flashback!
5/28 c58 1Darknessdawns
This was an absolutely wonderful story. I love how it transitioned through the different arcs as the story progressed and the characters developed. By the end things had changed so much it almost felt like an entirely different piece. This was also one of the very few stories I've read where the Voldemort war isn't the main focus. I really enjoyed that though it was important it was almost in the background to the character development, world building, magical theory, and politics. The romance and different points of view were also well balanced within all of that. I honestly never expected the direction this story would go by the end. Harry went from an abused and lost little boy to one of the most powerful political leaders of Magical Britain. He embraced his family legacy and made it his lifes work to protect magic and the magical races. I absolutely loved watching him grow into the man he was by the end. Unfortunately I was left curious about several things, mostly to do with what he learned from his ancestor and what all was found at Camelot and Avalon. I was also a bit surprised that the muggles/nomaj hadn't completely become aware of the magicals yet. I was left a bit curious about all that as well and if enough enclaves had been created to protect the magical races. Anyway this was a wonderful story and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. It's definitely one I will be reading again.
1DarknessdawnsThis was an absolutely wonderful story. I love how it transitioned through the different arcs as the story progressed and the characters developed. By the end things had changed so much it almost felt like an entirely different piece. This was also one of the very few stories I've read where the Voldemort war isn't the main focus. I really enjoyed that though it was important it was almost in the background to the character development, world building, magical theory, and politics. The romance and different points of view were also well balanced within all of that. I honestly never expected the direction this story would go by the end. Harry went from an abused and lost little boy to one of the most powerful political leaders of Magical Britain. He embraced his family legacy and made it his lifes work to protect magic and the magical races. I absolutely loved watching him grow into the man he was by the end. Unfortunately I was left curious about several things, mostly to do with what he learned from his ancestor and what all was found at Camelot and Avalon. I was also a bit surprised that the muggles/nomaj hadn't completely become aware of the magicals yet. I was left a bit curious about all that as well and if enough enclaves had been created to protect the magical races. Anyway this was a wonderful story and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. It's definitely one I will be reading again.
5/28 c55 Darknessdawns
Question for chapter 56. Why is Harry wearing his order of Merlin medal while meeting the Goblins for the treaty signing? Didn't he donate it to Hogwarts or was Hogwarts just displaying it while he attended? From my understanding it was a donation and would remain at the school.
Question for chapter 56. Why is Harry wearing his order of Merlin medal while meeting the Goblins for the treaty signing? Didn't he donate it to Hogwarts or was Hogwarts just displaying it while he attended? From my understanding it was a donation and would remain at the school.
5/28 c56 Darknessdawns
The start of this chapter is just confusing. Earlier it was mentioned that Harry and his family were goinf to have his parents remains moved to the actual Potter crypt. Why are they still in the Godric's Hollow cemetery? And what is this about James's middle name being changed to his real father's name? This is the first its been mentioned. Before this the understanding was that Fleamont and Euphemia Black were James parents and Charlus and Dorea his uncle and aunt. Admittedly I was rather confused with both Euphemia and Dorea being from the House of Black, but the Blacks were once a large family and they could have been from different lines of it. Anyway I more than a bit confused at the moment.
The start of this chapter is just confusing. Earlier it was mentioned that Harry and his family were goinf to have his parents remains moved to the actual Potter crypt. Why are they still in the Godric's Hollow cemetery? And what is this about James's middle name being changed to his real father's name? This is the first its been mentioned. Before this the understanding was that Fleamont and Euphemia Black were James parents and Charlus and Dorea his uncle and aunt. Admittedly I was rather confused with both Euphemia and Dorea being from the House of Black, but the Blacks were once a large family and they could have been from different lines of it. Anyway I more than a bit confused at the moment.