for The House of Potter-Greengrass2/9 c16 Guest
The last few chapters. It seems you’re being pulled in way too many directions. Seems you can’t complete one path without jumping to way too many others and then either eventually circling back to it, or realizing you skipped over the thing and add a line about how it didn’t happen. Visiting the Grangers at Easter, was one that really stood out as something you planned to write and got completely sidetracked by all the other threads you’ve let knot together, rather than follow to the end.
The last few chapters. It seems you’re being pulled in way too many directions. Seems you can’t complete one path without jumping to way too many others and then either eventually circling back to it, or realizing you skipped over the thing and add a line about how it didn’t happen. Visiting the Grangers at Easter, was one that really stood out as something you planned to write and got completely sidetracked by all the other threads you’ve let knot together, rather than follow to the end.
2/8 c8 Guest
I know it’s pretty common in HP fanfic, but there’s really no such thing as a “neutral” political group. Moderate, Independent, sure, but Neutral isn’t really a thing. You have to take a vote one way or another when an issue comes up or you’re just not voting at all. So that means you have a political ideology of some sort. Neutrality keeps you from taking any leaning or action at all.
I know it’s pretty common in HP fanfic, but there’s really no such thing as a “neutral” political group. Moderate, Independent, sure, but Neutral isn’t really a thing. You have to take a vote one way or another when an issue comes up or you’re just not voting at all. So that means you have a political ideology of some sort. Neutrality keeps you from taking any leaning or action at all.
102/4 c26 terrahsims
I thought you had previously named Hannah's older brother, Charlie, not George. She was worried about Charlie after the attack on the Abbott's party.
I thought you had previously named Hannah's older brother, Charlie, not George. She was worried about Charlie after the attack on the Abbott's party.
2/1 c30 JEROME B
The one thing that I find different in the story is that in the segment breaks in the chaptersthere is nothing to tell of whom the perspective is coming from.
The one thing that I find different in the story is that in the segment breaks in the chaptersthere is nothing to tell of whom the perspective is coming from.
1/28 c37 sisi
Really, it is neccessery to go to the Azkaban and look for the ruins of Camelot and open the door to the Avalon. Why the prisoners lose the reason becouse te dementors and other question for Croaker.
Really, it is neccessery to go to the Azkaban and look for the ruins of Camelot and open the door to the Avalon. Why the prisoners lose the reason becouse te dementors and other question for Croaker.
1/27 c34 sisi
Very good, that very pleasure to know the Potters family and other membeers and to ask Danforths to be friendly and go to the Hogwards. Very good. Thanks. I need Loone to be a friend with Hermione and look the snorgless and platypus together. it could be very joke.
Very good, that very pleasure to know the Potters family and other membeers and to ask Danforths to be friendly and go to the Hogwards. Very good. Thanks. I need Loone to be a friend with Hermione and look the snorgless and platypus together. it could be very joke.
1/27 c16 acowles02
Hmm why would lreacher kick the buxket in third year, when he lives for like until after 7th
Hmm why would lreacher kick the buxket in third year, when he lives for like until after 7th
1/27 c26 CaptHook77
Pomfrey retired nearly at the beging of this story. In this chapter Greengrass is saying Potter needs to see Pomfrey. Wouldnt he need to see Tonks?
Pomfrey retired nearly at the beging of this story. In this chapter Greengrass is saying Potter needs to see Pomfrey. Wouldnt he need to see Tonks?
1/25 c38 Sextant
Hey now! I absolutely abhor chess but was in a Risk group that played every Friday for quite some time. Love Risk.
Hey now! I absolutely abhor chess but was in a Risk group that played every Friday for quite some time. Love Risk.
1/23 c9 sisi
thanks, I like this story. Its interesting to know the history of families and their usual for society and how to have a bussines in the wisengamot.
thanks, I like this story. Its interesting to know the history of families and their usual for society and how to have a bussines in the wisengamot.
1/24 c24 Sextant
I'm going to disagree with a part of the conversation between Hermione and Blaise. While the United States is a wholly elected government, the United Kingdom is not. Parliament is both elected (House of Commons) and appointed (House of Lords). At least, that is my basic understanding of it.
Would not Hermione also see the Magical Government set up in a similar way since she is from the UK?
I'm going to disagree with a part of the conversation between Hermione and Blaise. While the United States is a wholly elected government, the United Kingdom is not. Parliament is both elected (House of Commons) and appointed (House of Lords). At least, that is my basic understanding of it.
Would not Hermione also see the Magical Government set up in a similar way since she is from the UK?
1/23 c11 Frodran
I really like the way you have Harry dealinh with his trust issues, I've dealt with them before and it feels very real/immersive
I really like the way you have Harry dealinh with his trust issues, I've dealt with them before and it feels very real/immersive
1/23 c11 Sextant
This is how a child should respond to the bad treatment. Harry's anger and hurt was spot on and brilliantly written. While the way Harry is being written is OOC to canon, it is not OOC to the reality of child abuse and abandonment.
This kind of writing is what makes some stories many levels above others.
Massive kudos to Wolfgang for brilliant writing and an understanding of human emotion at all ages.
This is how a child should respond to the bad treatment. Harry's anger and hurt was spot on and brilliantly written. While the way Harry is being written is OOC to canon, it is not OOC to the reality of child abuse and abandonment.
This kind of writing is what makes some stories many levels above others.
Massive kudos to Wolfgang for brilliant writing and an understanding of human emotion at all ages.