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for Rimuru And Iruma's Adventures In The Netherworld

4/7 c111 Guest
I'm sorry, but after all the glowing praise you got I have to be the one to give you some bitter criticism, because I see great potential in you as a writer. So let me take some time to give you some constructive criticism

You're persistent and you know how to use proper spelling and grammar so you've got the basics down, but in the earlier chapters Rimuru was merely filling in for other characters and all you had was a rehash of canon. There's little more boring than straight re-hashing of canon.

While you seem to have gotten that sorted with the plot finally changing in more recent chapters, you really ought to get out of the habit of "so-and-so's POV" nonsense. Have you never read a book, or even a good piece of fanfiction? Just stick to third person, you already know how to do that.

The greatest flaw I see however, is that you don't seem to understand the characters. Rimuru doesn't feel like Rimuru. Iruma doesn't feel like Iruma. We're going to see the old friend of Diablo's so let's traumatize the servant? Why is Rimuru so damn bloodthirsty? When did Iruma become an ultra- pacifist on par with Vash the Stampede? You've got a bunch of incompetent psychopaths running amok with no explanation for any of the character changes. While there's nothing wrong with not sticking to canon ('cus that's the fun of fanfics, yeah?) if you're going to write OOC you should at least give reasons for it. That goes for your other crossover with Harry Potter. Why is Rimuru stuffing themselves to the point of getting stomachaches? Rimuru is a foodie, not a glutton. Don't go mixing them up with Luffy.

So while I'll continue to follow this fic, let me be brutally honest. It's subpar. As entertaining as it is, it's hot garbage. You definitely know how to write good scenes though, so if you can make the best of the constructive criticism, I feel you'll be a top writer.

TLDR: You got lots of room for improvement as a writer. I hope you get there.
3/12 c111 RTOmega
Rimuru raging over not being able to use his powers is hilarious. XD
3/7 c111 Guest
I hope the continues it's honestly my favorite fic of all time
3/5 c111 Fire turtle
PLEASE tell me that rimuru he's going to prank Kalego as a combination of stress relief AND Revenge from Banning her from the cafeteria.
2/12 c110 Fire turtle
Well, this will be fun. I am wondering, since she is banned from the cafeteria, well she spend the time that she usually spends eating for pranking the teacher who dared to take her precious food away? After all she warned him not to mess with her, but he didn't listen~
2/11 c110 AdanValdovinos3
Ah, to be young agen ceilxRimuru
1/27 c109 bigwavexs
Good to see the spin off get referenced.
1/27 c109 RTOmega
Another great chapter. Rimuru getting tens of embarrasing povs was funny XD
1/11 c108 Seralai
God, this was a great chapter! Almost always, when a new chapter of fanfic comes out, I constantly smile. I think it's worthy of an anime adaptation! :D
1/8 c108 AdanValdovinos3
This was a amazing chapter, the way the story still fallows the manga but still changed enough to make it like it’s just a side story to the manga, well done, well done,(>ω<)
1/8 c22 LegendaryMob
Why is Rimuru seems so aggressive here. Sure, he doesn't care much about authorities but he isn't disrespectful of it either. i mean, he has friends from all sort of status of life. he should atleast understand how important status are instead of being total dismissive and arrogant about it.
1/8 c108 1The Great Dullahan
Banned for life jajajajjaja poor rimuru jajajajajaja, well he is void jajajajaj
1/7 c108 Fire turtle
Rimuru's going to start a food fight in retaliation isn't she?
12/31/2023 c107 Love UUUUUUUUUUU
I Love this fict.
12/15/2023 c107 Fire turtle
Can you explain what that spear that Eiko has is? I don't recognize its description.
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