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5/14 c10 1WOLF-GOST
10/26/2023 c2 2Nerdy Geekdom
This is one of the most difficult stories I've ever read. Grammar and punctuation are horrible, but I can get over that. What I can't stand are all the terms that you use with no explanation for what they mean. You gave your OC some powers, I think, with no real explanation of them, then started saying who you used them on with no way of knowing what the power did.
11/20/2022 c10 Mcgiggletits
More please! I want to see him raise Westeros to massive new heights
11/6/2022 c1 1redHussar
The grammar and punctuation are abysmal. Sentences started with lowercase, random words like 'A' capitalized. Spaces after a quote, before the first word...

I strongly suggest looking for free tools like Grammarly that would solve these issues. Putting a mess like this show no respect for the reader.
11/3/2022 c10 ymrgf
I can't survive reading this. No proper paragraphs at all. It's a brainf*ck.
7/15/2022 c4 Critic
OK I've just finished reading this chapter and i must point out a couple of things. This is not a story but a quick summary of events that you narrarate. You need to seriously slow down and pace your motivations and struggles and allow your character/audience to experience the world and interactions with other people. Also, you need to improve your main character he's bland and nonexistent.

Thats it, good luck with the story buddy.
5/10/2022 c1 suckstobeacritic
With no paragraphs this is illegible word vomit
12/31/2021 c1 Sansa
Not too OP.
10/29/2021 c10 1kirosyamcha
this entire story has been more of an overview of events, 'this or that happened' instead of actually telling the story in the moment :/
10/29/2021 c5 kirosyamcha
eh the most interesting thing about harry potter verse is probably the triwizard tournament and only that because of Fleur. plus the girls in HP are finally older and actually look adultish
10/29/2021 c2 kirosyamcha
sigh... this is one of THOSE stories that you kinda just have to shake your head at but at the same time be amused. everything done and said is completely unrealistic and impossible to happen especially at the age of 2-5 but you cant help but keep reading simply because its amusing to see how broken the SI writes himself :/ especially since the 'god' said no OP wishes and yet he is already OP at 3 years old ;.;
10/29/2021 c1 kirosyamcha
no systems, nothing OP, 'I want a system' ...' ok'... that almost makes it an instant drop story :/
10/8/2021 c10 3falseproffitt
look this story though decently written is a shit show... ROB NO SYSTEMS NO OMNIVERSENO ULTIMATE POWER. so hey give it to me anyway...ROB OKAY SURE.. your a fucking idiot
9/12/2021 c10 TheRealPogger
This is fucking disgusting. The grammar is atrocious and the story makes no sense. Please learn basic english before writing shit like this...
9/3/2021 c1 AkashaPsihi
shit. the grammar is simply atrocious. gives you a headache reading it.
don't bother reading this.
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