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for The King's Last Rites

8/25 c1 Florescent45
Very short and (bitter)sweet, I liked it! It might've been good to put more emphasis on the duality between Monarch and Crimson, but at the same time I feel like exactly enough was said on it and any more would drag the focus away.

I also feel like leaving Monarch's fate ambiguous until Dip and Comic found him would have lead to a build up in tension that paralleled what our two favorite wingmen were feeling. A last glimmer of hope as the rescuers arrive to the scene, only to be slapped down to earth by the reveal that our hero succumbed to his injuries before they had even arrived. So when the point of view shifts away from Monarch to Dip and Mick, the reader's emotional state also ends up aligning with the new angle on the situation.

Anyways, really liked the short!
7/9 c1 NotALotOfTime
Pretty good.

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