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2/18 c30 Dan
I love this fic! Seeing Rizevim as a capable antagonist is great, even though he’s despicable I can’t help but like how you portray him as Lucifer’s mirror.

Ultimately Rizevim is the product of his upbringing as the son of Lucifer and seeing how capable he really is in this fic is refreshing when in most fic’s he’s considered a joke.
2/15 c33 Guest
Awesome chapter!
2/16 c33 fuunu
He should have activated his archangle form. While it wouldn't stopped them it would definitely cause confusion which is a good thing when fighting an army.
2/14 c27 SynBen28
'For a demonstration, he pushed the piece into the chest of another Devil beside him and his aura rose.'
How would anyone be able to tell if his aura rose over a video broadcast?

'After all, they were given the option to pass on the pieces to their children and keep the influence of their houses.'
Previously, we were told that Zekram and his faction specifically would NOT allow them to pass the pieces to their children.
2/14 c23 SynBen28
'What was your father even thinking about? Is he perhaps taking the role of Lucifer's father too literally? What's next, starting a Great War?'

Pretty sure you already gave an explanation for Zeoticus doing this in a previous chapter. I think it was about using the Phenex to help build a better base for Rias to resist the influence of the Great King Faction, who are wary of the Gremory house getting too powerful. And we found this out from Damien's POV, as well, so he obviously knows that Zeoticus has some actual reasons to try this.
2/14 c18 SynBen28
'In this short period of time, she had actually disobeyed my order'
What? When did she disobey any orders?

' Having a minor existential crisis over here."
Is he actually having an existential crisis? Even though he already knew about having Lucifer's soul? That whole scene felt a bit off with how it was like he didn't know the reason for what was happening with the spear. Like he never had the whole conversation with the ROB. Is it just him pretending not to know for the others?
2/13 c16 SynBen28
'I didn't have any Binder Marks to my name. All thirteen of them were used.
Vienna, Gretel, Ophelia, Cleria, Charlene, Victoria, Helena, Alicia, Lavinia, Kuroka, Shirone, Akeno and finally Rias.'

Didn't he also bind Uriel's daughter, Celine?
2/13 c15 SynBen28
'The only way to avoid that would be to kill every one of the outsiders here and silence them.'

Yeah, this just sounds like contrived nonsense. Agrippa and Rias showed up when Vi was in scale mail, meaning they hadn't seen her face at all. So they were a non-issue as long as she maintained balance breaker, and Damien used an illusion for his appearance.
A bunch of the Himejima were already dead, so what would it matter killing the rest? Though aside from that, as a peak Satan with high mastery of mind magic he should be fully capable of just forcibly wiping the memories of some mid- and high-class humans of the incident, even without using his broker essence.
It feels like he still had multiple options to try and prevent their Lucifer identities from being discovered.
2/11 c33 Guest
so shit
2/13 c13 SynBen28
Please ignore these comments in the case that they're covered later in the story. I just don't do well holding things to the end when going into stories that already have a lot of length to them.

'She has basically been using Innovate Clear to temporarily make plants for ingredients and suitable conditions for making certain drugs or conducting experiments.'

I remember that Damien's Mad Doctor essence could use his own energy reserves to create ingredients. So I'm guessing that her weaker version of it doesn't have that capability? Or is it just that the energy costs to create ingredients is too high to be efficient for her?

Also, how does the mind magic he's developed, such as mind palace's, partitions, and thought acceleration interact with the shadow clones? Does it further accelerate training with all the clones being able to use that stuff? Can those magics be used to process the information influx when dispelling clones?
2/12 c9 SynBen28
'It is completely a mystery how Lucifer who was as strong as a Low Class God at best could do something like this.'
This doesn't seem quite right. If Lucifer is only this strong, then that means there is only around a x10 difference in raw power between low class gods and gods among the top 10 like Hades and Thor, which feels like its too small a gap.

'They were at the forefront of the rebel armies in the Civil War and now are the private troops of each High Class Devil and above.'
I'm almost certain Ajuka didn't invent the evil pieces until after the civil war, so it would be impossible for reincarnated devils to be at the forefront in the war.
2/12 c33 1MysticRising
I originally thought god's wife was trihexa. I mean him sealing trihexa was like one of his most prominent feats. And I thought the danger she represents would be that she lost her sanity and became the beast. But if her body is in agreas that theory failed.
Nice way to explain everything though. The reason why the crystals were so special, information about heaven, and the origins of Lucifer's power and some context for fallen angels. That's one of the best aspects of this story. You made the background and history very sensible. No major plotholes like time turners that I can see (similar to the explanation behind the true longinus)
Theory: i personally think Daimen will ressurect god and his wife. It just makes sense to me. Im not entirely sure how the ability works, but I can't see him willing to leave his parents dead.
Speaking of which, I noticed Daimen switches pronouns for him as lucifer/daimen, as though they are seperate people but then the same. I thought it was amazing as it demonstrates how difficult it must be for reincarnated individuals to come to terms that they are both the deceased individual and someone completely new. Like at times his old memories merge seamlessly with him and other times they overwhelm him. It's a nice subtle touch and not something we think of how these characters would react to having different set of memories, epscially memories that come up later in life.

Criticism I've been meaning to say:
First I really enjoy your writing, well the snippets and this story. The original gamer one I couldn't tolerate the first chapter, but I hope you've grown as a writer. One aspect you do really well in would be character interactions and diaologue, a major aspect of said interactions. You give personality and distinction between characters.
A few flaws would be how the diaologue of your character is usually something like a lecture. A massive speech that's basically them lording their superiority (oh gods a villain monolog). When Daimen explains things it makes sense as he wields knowledge, but this hurts his character as he acts too much of a know it all and also plays into power dynamics. Makes sense as that subtle aspect is key to manipulations, but it also feels like Daimen can't grow as a character as much as he can. Now that I thing about it this condescending attitude makes sense in Damien but your other stories get hurt by the one sided conversations.
Equally a massive problem would be dealing with Chekhov's gun. What's the point of half of these characters having the same origin as a reincarnation/isekai? You know what Ill bring this up later. Im sleepy and this may be better in the snippets.
2/11 c33 Kil'jeaden
Great chapter
2/11 c33 evilstatistic19
Good chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one.
2/10 c33 Guest
I’m very interested to see who out plays who the genius strategist or the insane mad man.
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