9/2/2021 c1 32Toxicsnake91
After reading the summary this story sounded very interesting and I'll be honest I enjoyed it a lot but I did notice a few points that I'd like to point out

1. as the Homura
1. (rewrite) as Homura

2. as her starred scarf swayed behind her as she took she lined herself along against the bars of her cell
2. (rewrite) as her starred scarf swayed behind her she looking her over as she lined herself against the bars of her cell

3. No heed to the Homura
3. (rewrite) No heed to Homura

4. Twirled a strain
4. (rewrite) twirled a strand

Just things that I noticed and how you could alter it a little, again I really enjoyed the story and hope you continue it but the second point I noticed and listed was just that when I read through I struggled to understand what it was you wanted to say. Good job once again and I'm looking forward to where you go with this next