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for Harry Potter and A Sirius Matter

2/2 c13 Kronos Angel
Interesting story.

It has the bases to be one of the best, yet your delivery was a bit on the poor side because of the wilderness of your brains creativity and lack of organization leading you to go with the flow.

It's not a bad thing but it makes reading confusing.(no offense but you need to read your previous chapters and make certain everything is alignment.)

Meh
1/28 c1 1purplevictory
The concept is great, but I am having way too much trouble trying to understand what is happening. It needs to be slowed down so that concepts are fully described and fleshed out before jumping to a new thought. As it stands, there are a bunch of partially constructed concepts that are all crashing down one after another. You, as the author, know what you mean, but the audience needs it explained.
1/12 c13 wolfpackgigglesback
Woah
11/17/2023 c13 sthrobbins
Did Harry settle his account with the MGonagall bitch?
8/22/2023 c7 keht.jelicho
when exactly did Harry take Chang on a date? is that an AU change? first Hermione gets jealous over it, then Daphne mentions it. Ron previously said that Harry'd had no interest or notice in girls, and he'd been keeping people away from Harry before Harry came back/end of third year. Unless you changed things Harry also couldn't go to Hogsmeade openly the previous year due to the Dursleys not signing his note (part of why Harry needed the Marauders map- to find passage to Honeydukes to sneak out). and I don't remember any mention of a date with Cho anytime
8/22/2023 c13 zaltran
Just read this. Good premise, but the plot and situations are jumbled and follow a loose logic.
one example is when you had the bones replaced in the graveyard only to have Harry defeat him at the same time negating the need to replace the bones in the first place. You should chart a linear timeline for the story and do a rewrite of it.
8/14/2023 c13 54EdTheBeast
Interesting twists and turns. Enjoyable time travel.
8/4/2023 c1 Guest
All your Storys suck
7/17/2023 c13 Talonwalker
Very enjoyable story! Thanks!
5/27/2023 c12 Cassandra30
Harry needs to sit quietly, gather his resources q write it all down. He's acting like a chicken with its head cut off.
5/27/2023 c11 Cassandra30
Ginny could just be brilliant. Bill and Percy are. Dumbledore made that decision about Harry. Harry could be just as wrong.
5/4/2023 c8 Guest
This started with an interesting concept but soon descended into a complete mess - very badly written and almost impossible to read - a total waste of time.
4/14/2023 c13 Guest
When I first started reading the story I originally thought it had a lot of presentable and I still think it has a lot of potential but I think you're going really fast and the plot is all over the place. the story is not adding up
2/19/2023 c13 PamelaKatt
I think the premise of this story has a lot of potential. But right now it is hard to read. Your plot needs to b tightened up and I think the story would benefit dropping a bunch of characters and some of plot bunnies that are underdeveloped. For example - Ginny becoming Riddle and Harry needing to kill her was an interesting idea that was not developed at all and is therefore unnecessary to the story. Your protagonist was primarily Dumbledore but you offed him with little fanfare which is as not satisfying. Same with the Bombardia to Snape's head. Plus you had Umbridge down as getting along with your Harry but then she doesn't with little explanation.
As I said, the concept is pretty intriguing and has potential. Maybe a Beta would help.
2/7/2023 c7 TuxedoMac
Okay normally I wait till I catch up when I start a new story on where it's at to review. That being said there have been a few minor things but I let them pass, although this chapter had a few shall we say glitches. Now I know obviously fanfiction does not have to follow Canon that's one thing I like about it is we get to see new ideas and ways of things. Now that being said there were two things in this chapter that didn't have a setup to pay here's a change and they made things a little more confusing in the read. One says that Harry dated Cho the previous year. They went on a date now this is at the point be just the first day of fourth year. Therefore being said since you didn't cover anything of him dating after he came back we would have to fall the cannon Cannon had no date in the third book would show. This just might be a everything is running together author whatnot blah blah blah. But the other thing that followed up right with it at the same time was the fact that when the students got there they didn't go directly to the Great Hall for dinner they actually got to go to their common rooms and then their bedrooms to change and such. I'd be glad to be pointed out I'm wrong that Cannon doesn't say they don't at times but from every aspect of book ones arrival with the little bit of time first years had book three with the when they got there showing how quick it is to dinner that this is not a thing normally just wondering for a point out. I will continue on reading and we will see how things go but these two things together just made me have to stop and say something.

TuxedoMac
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