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for Cycle of Time

8/27 c2 midnightscar17
I thought Kakashi was dog and yugo was cat
8/19 c20 Guest
Hey your story has a lot of mistakes but it's still really good just a recommendation you should try and get a beta also I look forwards to more Naruto storys from you great job
8/4 c3 amavgupta0
bro kyuubi chakra is potent and even if they are friends he will have hatred in his chakra so he should not have access to Kcm before overcoming his dark Half which is there in everyone especially in naruto because of his treatment
8/4 c2 amavgupta0
well Kushina and mito also treated him as a monster or a beast that should remain chained down especially Kushina saw her seal like spikes were penetrating his tail felt very bad for him
7/24 c2 Deathlord 1
You mixed up tomorrow and yesterday during the Hokages apology. It happened the day before so was yesterday.
7/22 c21 3Yuzuki476
Looks like team 7 is itching for a fight against sound team.
7/19 c1 GymNatty321
Naruto is already the most powerful ninja to ever exist in canon, trying to committe suicide won't delete his genetics/reincarnation/demon inside me powers.
6/22 c14 Bored321
This technically works to achieve the desired effect (creating a protagonist with ambiguous morality), but it feels anticlimactic. The mission is solved quickly, easily and seamlessly, and then its onto the next scene.

It's missing that key ingredient: Conflict.

As an aside, and I can't stress this enough, succumbing to peer pressure doesn't make stories better. More times than not, it does the exact opposite.

Grey morality should fall somewhere between black and white morality, and morality itself is not constant.

If the Protag falls between those two shades in this fictional world, then it technically qualifies as grey. The 'issue' (being an Edgelord is not *strictly* a negative, since a good enough writer can pull it off) is cleared up here, however.
6/12 c14 Guest
and this is where i stop reading any farther
6/14 c14 Bored321
I struggled to come up with the words to fashion this review, only for it to come suddenly and precipitously!

To recap, Protag and co must kill the Leader of Wave and his family, down to the last child. Simple stuff, purge a bloodline to better abolish the previous government and install a new one. Skipping forward, Protag is selected to murder two small children.

I was feeling a sense of dread build up as I imagined the confrontation. Would they beg and cry? Whimper in agony as the blood to their brains slowed, before cruelly coming to a stop? Would they tearfully croak that their scared and they don't want to die, pitifully moaning for their parents to save them?

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the manner in which they’re disposed of is so abrupt and random that I couldn't feel horror from it. Quite literally, their still beating hearts are ripped from their chests and then juggled. This is something so farcical I'd expect it out of a whimsical Mortal Kombat rip-off, its only missing a jaunty tune being hummed after the 'quippy' one-liner.

To summarize this with one word: Edgy. This is *the edge* being played seriously without a hint of satire. If that's what you were going for, then that's fine. It works, but I personally can’t take it seriously.

To label this act as evil would require it be taken seriously, something I can’t do. Assuming it were played seriously, then it would definitely qualify as evil. Morality is subject, but there are some things you simply shouldn't do. Once again, that's fine. This is fiction, ergo, it isn't real and has no consequences on people. You can write whatever you want. Whether a walking Edge Lord who the story takes seriously, or a broken child who's been warped into an unfeeling, sociopathic killer, the choice lies with you and you alone.

For me, this isn’t an issue of believability on Konoha/Sarutobi’s part. Their mercenaries. If they refuse to commit some foul and horrific crime against humanity, it simply means you need to offer a better price. I can assume that Gato did such, far more than the former Leader of Wave could afford.
6/13 c7 Bored321
You say you want to improve, but you preface this by stating you don't wish to be nagged that your child character neither speaks nor acts his age, so I find myself pondering if I should spend time and effort crafting criticism if it’s going to be wasted and ignored...

Firstly, don't limit yourself. Don't simply content to be 'good,' strive to be better, greater. This involves recognizing your flaws and, either working past them, or working to fix them. A writer's age can make writing children difficult, but this hasn't stopped millions of others from managing it, regardless of how much older they may be.

Remaining advice is simply this: Write what you want. Either way, several years from now, you're likely to look back at this work and think its terrible (as follows tradition), but at least it'll be *you* that wrote it. Take every bit of advice with a heap of salt. Many will make the mistake of giving criticism based on their desires, not what is considered conventionally good writing.
6/13 c5 Bored321
Au contraire, aside being 'badass' being subjective, hair color does not a badass make.

Besides, it's an indisputable fact-o-runey that, in order to be a *true* badass, one must have *Black* hair. Preferably, with poorly implanted streaks of red ('cause the *edge,* yo!) scattered randomly about.
6/13 c2 Bored321
Skipped most of this, as it seemed little different than the usual "Naruto decides to become awesome and ventures forth to the 'Shinobi Library' to absorbs its contents through osmosis. Would've been better to recap it all, rather than scene by scene.

Points for not broadcasting Kakashi's identity with the imfamous 'Dog ANBU Mask". A breath of fresh air.
6/13 c1 Bored321
A mixed start.

Naruto comes as nothing like how a five-year-old behaves or talks. He should've either been aged up, or never have had his age disclosed in the first place.

Naruto having the Sharingan comes out of nowhere, and makes little sense. It's fun, sure, but any semblance of balance was immediately annihilated beyond hope of return with the Haxigan's addition.

The premise, as well as what happens later, is intriguing, so I'll stick around for that, however.
6/9 c1 Guest
Please give naruto a harem.
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