for The Distance Which Fools the Skimming Eye2/8/2022 c11 ArcAngel087
Really good story so far. You've done a great job with Cinder and Jaune's characters. The Summer Rose reveal was interesting, poor Qrow. Cant wait to read more.
Really good story so far. You've done a great job with Cinder and Jaune's characters. The Summer Rose reveal was interesting, poor Qrow. Cant wait to read more.
51/10/2022 c11 ZzoMymy
Well, damn it, its pretty good. Maybe it's because I'm really bad at reading English, but the first four chapters are a fucking mess that I somehow sorted out by 11.
Wow, instead of completely changing the frankly shitty backstory of the "villainous villain!", you made something presentable out of it.
The only thing I didn't like was the attitude of the fucking gg at team rwby. What the fuck is the problem with flying around the "fucking poster resort island" in search of? Or, damn it, do something other than "oh my God, you thought you were dead!" literally through a paragraph about how they had fun. Scoundrels and hypocrisy, scoundrels and hypocrisy...
Well, damn it, its pretty good. Maybe it's because I'm really bad at reading English, but the first four chapters are a fucking mess that I somehow sorted out by 11.
Wow, instead of completely changing the frankly shitty backstory of the "villainous villain!", you made something presentable out of it.
The only thing I didn't like was the attitude of the fucking gg at team rwby. What the fuck is the problem with flying around the "fucking poster resort island" in search of? Or, damn it, do something other than "oh my God, you thought you were dead!" literally through a paragraph about how they had fun. Scoundrels and hypocrisy, scoundrels and hypocrisy...
1/5/2022 c10 Dark drow
...this is good.
Please continue when ever you can and have a wonderful year.
...this is good.
Please continue when ever you can and have a wonderful year.
12/22/2021 c9 Bob
Please finish this awesome story. I've wanted a cinder/Jaune story for a long time now and you delivered so please finish.
Please finish this awesome story. I've wanted a cinder/Jaune story for a long time now and you delivered so please finish.
12/22/2021 c9 Stoic-Wookie00
well i for one am all for these cinder pov chapters.
great work and i look forward to what comes next for our favorite couple.
well i for one am all for these cinder pov chapters.
great work and i look forward to what comes next for our favorite couple.
12/20/2021 c9 hirshja
When does this chapter take place? you keep on referencing how Salem is still asleep, but we know she woke up last chapter. Yet, it seems like the heroes have learned the secret, and that happened at the same time we learned that Salem woke up. what is going on?
When does this chapter take place? you keep on referencing how Salem is still asleep, but we know she woke up last chapter. Yet, it seems like the heroes have learned the secret, and that happened at the same time we learned that Salem woke up. what is going on?
11/29/2021 c7 hirshja
alright, now that I actually finished this chapter...
That's about how i was expecting it to go there. I really hope that you put some focus on the reactions of NR and RWBY.
Weiss and Blake should both recognize the signs of abuse and brainwash here, now that they are out.
The way that Cinder basically glazed over and went into "I am worthless" mode at Salem's promoting would raise red flags all over the place. that would be the case even if they end up deciding not to trust her.
alright, now that I actually finished this chapter...
That's about how i was expecting it to go there. I really hope that you put some focus on the reactions of NR and RWBY.
Weiss and Blake should both recognize the signs of abuse and brainwash here, now that they are out.
The way that Cinder basically glazed over and went into "I am worthless" mode at Salem's promoting would raise red flags all over the place. that would be the case even if they end up deciding not to trust her.
11/29/2021 c7 hirshja
You need to put line breaks here. it's hard to keep track of a setting change and the time frame is even harder to pick up on. if Jaune is with Cinder in one line and then in the field hospital the next, it's confusing unless there's a clear signal of that change in setting.
You need to put line breaks here. it's hard to keep track of a setting change and the time frame is even harder to pick up on. if Jaune is with Cinder in one line and then in the field hospital the next, it's confusing unless there's a clear signal of that change in setting.