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12h c101 darkpegasuzz
Had this one on my to read list for a while now. Had some time to read it and now I regretted the fact that I didnt start it earlier. Amazing story. Realized that I was actually reading your other story already. Keep up the good work, your stories are great.
5/14 c1 AliZarinKula
Truly loving the story thus far, one of the only things that bother me thus farI'm at chap. 8 rn) is when I'm reading the characters' dialogues and I find exclamation marks used where they are not warranted.

Exclamation marks are used to indicate a character's shock, profound anger or happiness etc.

And when two character's are having a conversation and out of nowhere an exclamation mark is used inappropriately, it really takes away the meaning or value that the author is trying to establish in that conversation in the long run.
5/7 c7 Joda-Eragonsson
Rereading this and I just realised that you have the dates mixed up. Harry starts Hogwarts in 1991 but you have had starting in 1981. He was born in 1980. Unless I missed something is this intentional? I’m not sure if someone has pointed it out already but I thought I’d mention it just in case you decide to revise this at some point
4/29 c5 deschiffchiff
I like the fic so far. FYI chapter 5 should say "October 31 1985".
4/28 c37 2JManM
Sexual scenes allow for a lot more that getting the audience hot and bothered. You can accomplish a lot of characterization and plotting in those scenes. Not only are you showing the characters at their most vulnerable and intimate, you can also use sex as a tool for the plot.

Bad writing is using a sex scene as some kind of culmination of the relationship. Good writing is changing the relationship through sex. Maybe the protagonist grows more self confident, or more likely learns that he has been a fool his whole life and dedicates himself to the pursuit of further pleasure.

You can use sexuality to trap the leads in an otherwise failing relationship. Or even better, welcome to parenthood.

Sex is one of the most important aspects of the human experience, and you have options aplenty for real narrative significance.
4/28 c36 JManM
I liked this chapter a lot. HBP really ruined Dumbledore in most people's minds, but it was mostly the actions of an old man painfully dying while desperately trying to prove that his life philosophy was correct. I think he failed as it was Draco's cowardice that stayed hus hand rather than some innate goodness.

I am glad that image didn't permeate with you and the man demonstrated clear - if light handed- judgement.
4/27 c29 JManM
The scene were MacGee called their conflict childish was really tone deaf. Especially after dropping the idea that the Slytherin girls get raped. Both sides are out for blood and she is acting like they are calling each other doodie heads.
4/27 c28 JManM
It feels less like Simping now that she has actually helped him with something that matters to him.
4/27 c27 JManM
The relationship with Marlene was pretty boring, but I think most of it was just pacing. They had a few hang ups, but no where near as much awfulness as this Harry and Fleur pairing. She's tried to slay him twice at this point cause she is a sore loser, and Harry is fine with it cause he is so shallow.

I doubt that was your intention setting out, but it is the message received from these interactions.
4/27 c26 JManM
Smart deduction on that.
4/27 c1 Chiku11
Loved this fic alot and now harryfluer are my new fav pairings...i hope you keep writing awesome fics like this.
4/27 c102 Chiku11
You made me a new fan of harryxfluer...now that i got the taste of harryxfluer story i can only hope there are other fics with same pairing in this site which are as good as this.
4/27 c101 Chiku11
Awesome...!
4/27 c25 JManM
I think Sebastian's reaction was one of the most realistic in the story so far. A lot of the characters have felt a bit stilted to either over reaction or under reaction, likely due to personal bias as they read less like characters and more like caricatures. Albus and Sirius seem to get this treatment the least as both seem to respond to the situation at hand more than pulling from a small pool of fixed responses where two thirds of the options are hate Harry and one third are be an idiot.
4/27 c94 Chiku11
Nice smut...need a cold shower now...
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