for Power, Freedom and a French Flower5/5/2023 c5 Guest
There's been a resurgence of crappy Indy Potter fan fictions. You didn't write a story. You wrote a plot Summary of your self insert power fantasy who got the pretty girl & beat everyone.
Who as a mere child can terrify snape who's been a master of mind arts for decades . And as typical of these "stories" - Dumbledore is just comically dmb moron who's outpaced & outplayed by your self insert Harry every time.
And the worst part? That this lazy writing perfectly fulfills the fantasy of lazy readers who can't be brothered to even think what the fuk they are reading. Worthless crap...
There's been a resurgence of crappy Indy Potter fan fictions. You didn't write a story. You wrote a plot Summary of your self insert power fantasy who got the pretty girl & beat everyone.
Who as a mere child can terrify snape who's been a master of mind arts for decades . And as typical of these "stories" - Dumbledore is just comically dmb moron who's outpaced & outplayed by your self insert Harry every time.
And the worst part? That this lazy writing perfectly fulfills the fantasy of lazy readers who can't be brothered to even think what the fuk they are reading. Worthless crap...
4/24/2023 c102 Robertos1235
Wow. It's longest story that i read from beggining to an end.
Really good. Three days it took me to read it all. Clap beatiful
Wow. It's longest story that i read from beggining to an end.
Really good. Three days it took me to read it all. Clap beatiful
4/23/2023 c7 Guest
This is not a story. This is a plot summary. "The character did the thing. He told him about this thing. He could not get the thing." You are telling your audience the broadest possible stokes of what is going on and leaving them to fill in all the depth and nuance of the characters and world. A very "you already know what's going on" attitude. If you cannot bother to actually write your own story, how can you expect anyone else to actually bother to read it?
This is not a story. This is a plot summary. "The character did the thing. He told him about this thing. He could not get the thing." You are telling your audience the broadest possible stokes of what is going on and leaving them to fill in all the depth and nuance of the characters and world. A very "you already know what's going on" attitude. If you cannot bother to actually write your own story, how can you expect anyone else to actually bother to read it?
4/21/2023 c41 
1Lord Jawblinneron
Ugh, and I had high hopes that this story would be the exception to the mindnumbingly stupid cliche of any Harry, no matter his skill, always falling victim to the portkey trophy and stunner. I dont care how many death eaters are there its a lazy tripe trope and instantly makes a story worse.
1Lord JawblinneronUgh, and I had high hopes that this story would be the exception to the mindnumbingly stupid cliche of any Harry, no matter his skill, always falling victim to the portkey trophy and stunner. I dont care how many death eaters are there its a lazy tripe trope and instantly makes a story worse.
4/20/2023 c101 Soham
Wow! This is really one of the best fanfics. At par with fanfic of TheBlack'sResurgence and all. I loved this story!
Wow! This is really one of the best fanfics. At par with fanfic of TheBlack'sResurgence and all. I loved this story!
4/19/2023 c37 Guest
To be really fair, the romance ruined it for me it might be great for most of them but it kind of ruined it for me
To be really fair, the romance ruined it for me it might be great for most of them but it kind of ruined it for me
4/16/2023 c24 hpmick13
One thing I've noticed it's that there are a lot of misspellings and also cases where the wrong word is used.
Also inconsistencies, for example in a previous chapter Gabrielle was stated to be 12, and yet in this one she's still at primary school and will be 11 next spring.
One thing I've noticed it's that there are a lot of misspellings and also cases where the wrong word is used.
Also inconsistencies, for example in a previous chapter Gabrielle was stated to be 12, and yet in this one she's still at primary school and will be 11 next spring.
4/10/2023 c1 Guest
maybe you can add a reunion of some sort with the Dursleys in this story?
maybe you can add a reunion of some sort with the Dursleys in this story?
4/10/2023 c102 Guest
this story rarely have mistakes, but one of them is that "diary" kept being spelled like "dairy".
this story rarely have mistakes, but one of them is that "diary" kept being spelled like "dairy".
4/7/2023 c102 Dretnuh
Great story absolutely loved it! Kind of reminded me of cadmean victory every once in a while. But obviously NOWHERE near as dark. 11/10
Great story absolutely loved it! Kind of reminded me of cadmean victory every once in a while. But obviously NOWHERE near as dark. 11/10
4/7/2023 c17 lukejmontier1
Harry won’t be able to do his patronus!? That’s like one of the most popular spells in the series!
Harry won’t be able to do his patronus!? That’s like one of the most popular spells in the series!