for Naruto:ILLusionists Misadventures2/25 c1 babYMagnuM12
well, by your own words, the conversation is stiff and also cringey to read. dont write anymore. r
well, by your own words, the conversation is stiff and also cringey to read. dont write anymore. r
11/1/2021 c1 Ooferino
The lemons were great and I can't wait to see Naruto dominate more women but there is one problem there is no plot. Other than that this is great.
The lemons were great and I can't wait to see Naruto dominate more women but there is one problem there is no plot. Other than that this is great.
10/30/2021 c1 
36KuronoDono12
This is pretty interesting though you should change the format from Centered to Left to make it easier to read
36KuronoDono12This is pretty interesting though you should change the format from Centered to Left to make it easier to read
10/30/2021 c1 24Juubi no Shinju
Some helpful advice:
1. It is easier on the reader's eyes if you set the story to be aligned to the left instead of the center. Since people have been reading from left to right their whole lives, they have become used to it. Having everything centered could cause some discomfort and annoyance.
2. Since this is your first story...take things calmly. As a writer, trust me, you will improve in time. Write whatever you desire, and have fun doing it. The more you write and read from other stories, the more you will improve as you adapt.
3. If you plan on doing extended, connected chapters, have a plan in mind. Knowing where and how you want to take an idea will help your story grow. If possible, put in some history in. Why is the character doing what they're doing? What does he do between his actions? How did he meet people, or get to where he's at?
If you want to do a sex story that is more than one chapter, it'd help if you explained how everything came to be.
4. Some people might find it hard to keep track if different sentences of talk is put in the same paragraph. It'd help to separate them by line.
I hope these tips help you, as I'd like to see you as a new author grow. Good luck!
24Juubi no ShinjuSome helpful advice:
1. It is easier on the reader's eyes if you set the story to be aligned to the left instead of the center. Since people have been reading from left to right their whole lives, they have become used to it. Having everything centered could cause some discomfort and annoyance.
2. Since this is your first story...take things calmly. As a writer, trust me, you will improve in time. Write whatever you desire, and have fun doing it. The more you write and read from other stories, the more you will improve as you adapt.
3. If you plan on doing extended, connected chapters, have a plan in mind. Knowing where and how you want to take an idea will help your story grow. If possible, put in some history in. Why is the character doing what they're doing? What does he do between his actions? How did he meet people, or get to where he's at?
If you want to do a sex story that is more than one chapter, it'd help if you explained how everything came to be.
4. Some people might find it hard to keep track if different sentences of talk is put in the same paragraph. It'd help to separate them by line.
I hope these tips help you, as I'd like to see you as a new author grow. Good luck!
10/30/2021 c1 Guest
I like and is every chapter a snit or will this story have plot
I like and is every chapter a snit or will this story have plot
10/30/2021 c1 Xebolous-1
Okay, I'll just start by saying i am by no means a author of any kind but i know good fanfiction. Out of 10 this is like a 3. You have a solid summary, but the plot is nowhere to be seen. You can't just write smut and expect it to be good, the smut is a compliment to the plot not the other way around. Also you have the text in the middle, make it go left to right.
Okay, I'll just start by saying i am by no means a author of any kind but i know good fanfiction. Out of 10 this is like a 3. You have a solid summary, but the plot is nowhere to be seen. You can't just write smut and expect it to be good, the smut is a compliment to the plot not the other way around. Also you have the text in the middle, make it go left to right.