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9/19/2022 c2 6Literal Winter
Damn this was certainly one heck of a chapter! I honestly didn't expect the supernatural elements you chucked in here, but it was a very good addition to the wild west setting, playing into iconic American folklore that fits with both the setting and your creepy pasta story concept.

I really liked that you gave Lapis and Marron a decent role here, and I was pretty convinced that Lazuli and Krillin were dead due to the voices coming from the Cell skinwalker, but I'm glad they were okay and that all of the characters got their own time to shine. I especially liked how you added the rest of the Dragon Ball cast into your story as well, enriching your setting and giving them fun roles that suit their characters.

I also really liked the way you presented the skinwalkers, it definitely gave a creepy vibe to them especially with their voice mimicry, and I like how you included Cell and Dr. Gero in their creation, with the whole tribal cultist scenes being both interesting and disturbing, so job well done there!

Overall this was an intricate and entertaining supernatural/western one shot, quite a bit out of the ordinary for what I would expect from a K18 family story but still good all the same! I can tell that you put a lot of thought and effort into this one, so good work man!
9/19/2022 c2 14Cj4Dj
Whoaaaaaa, this was so cool! I love the back and forth between perspectives! Very nice!
11/19/2021 c1 30SuperWG
I didn't think I'd like this one when I initially skimmed it, but I have to say, I'm glad I read it. It's interesting to see 17 and 18 without the cold edge they usually have. Like their personality is usually there but someone kind of has to work to get them to show it. I guess in this case Gero didn't get as far as he did in the Canon with shutting their emotions down. The beginning definitely had the creepy vibe especially the 'Please no more' part. I figured one Super 13 came out, Krillin would need Goku and the others for sure, but he managed to beat them without 16's bomb. Anyway, yeah, interesting read.
11/1/2021 c1 6Literal Winter
This is certainly a different story from your previous fics, and despite you admitting you felt this story was weird, I myself found it quite entertaining and not that weird at all. For a quick note, I am unfamiliar with creepypasta and have never read a story involving it, so my perspective on this story will be based around that.

Firstly I think you have done a good job at building up the unsettling elements of your story, as in the beginning with Krillin slowly discovering the warning signs that something was wrong is rather tense, and I specifically found the patrolling robots at night, banging on his room door to be particularly unnerving.

In addition to this with Krillin's interactions with Seventeen and Eighteen, I found that after the initial unease surrounding their first exchanges, it was actually quite heartwarming to see him help the two of them out and allow them to actually live like normal humans for at least a few moments. This in particular made this story quite interesting as it began to make things tense for different reasons, this time being whether Krillin and the twins can actually escape their predicament.

When the androids rebelled, I found that despite the lack of detail one would usually expect in a Dragon Ball Z fic, it was cool to see all of the androids involved, especially since most of them usually don't get much focus in most fics. It was neat seeing Sixteen joining in on the twins side, and it was also nice that Krillin gave his two senzu beans to the twins as well, showing once again the selflessness that he is known for.

For the ending, I was honestly half expecting some shocking twist that would throw everything I had just read into question, considering this was a Halloween fic and all, but I'm very glad that you instead went for a nice resolution for our characters that had a really positive feel to it.

Overall this was a fun read, and it was interesting that you experimented with first person writing in this one, and it definitely had a more personal feel to it. I found it unique and whilst not being your conventional Dragon Ball Z story it was still enjoyable, so thanks for posting!

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