for Can our inner demons find love4/27 c104 Borello
great work
great work
4/28 c9 KidIcarusjr
Story so far is solid but two things would help you, for this fic and for the future. One, whenever someone is speaking start a new line. You shouldn’t have two different people talking in the same paragraph. Always start a new line for dialogue. And two, you keep changing the point of view. Stick to one, if you’re going to write in third person then do that. If you’re going to write in first person then do that, but not both and certainly don’t switch back and forth in the same chapter.
Story so far is solid but two things would help you, for this fic and for the future. One, whenever someone is speaking start a new line. You shouldn’t have two different people talking in the same paragraph. Always start a new line for dialogue. And two, you keep changing the point of view. Stick to one, if you’re going to write in third person then do that. If you’re going to write in first person then do that, but not both and certainly don’t switch back and forth in the same chapter.
4/26 c104 Scarease
Make me think of my greater Oni universe incarnate/embodiments of all creations negative aspects and opposite of the Divine/Kami who are positive aspects .Once Great War this what lead separate of moral word form heavens ,Spirit world and such .
Greater Oni like the tailed beast can't truly be killed .Their physical form my parish but their just eventual be resurrect ,be reborn or come back in new reincanation .So Like tailed beast they most be Sealed away .
The Great War for creation Gods ,mortal and other being separate greatest demons sealing them away in special items ,locations and then erase much memories of their existance so to avoid foolish mortals from releasing these greater demons on world once more .Sadily not all demons were sealed away many lesser demon survived seeking either become greater demons or release their Lords .
Hedorah of your easily fit into that carigory as Greater Demon of Entropy and Hunger ,The great Blight ,The Black Rot
Make me think of my greater Oni universe incarnate/embodiments of all creations negative aspects and opposite of the Divine/Kami who are positive aspects .Once Great War this what lead separate of moral word form heavens ,Spirit world and such .
Greater Oni like the tailed beast can't truly be killed .Their physical form my parish but their just eventual be resurrect ,be reborn or come back in new reincanation .So Like tailed beast they most be Sealed away .
The Great War for creation Gods ,mortal and other being separate greatest demons sealing them away in special items ,locations and then erase much memories of their existance so to avoid foolish mortals from releasing these greater demons on world once more .Sadily not all demons were sealed away many lesser demon survived seeking either become greater demons or release their Lords .
Hedorah of your easily fit into that carigory as Greater Demon of Entropy and Hunger ,The great Blight ,The Black Rot
4/17 c102 Aeaz
Great chapter, really looking forward to how this plays out. Super interested to see how the relationship between the Uzumaki and Uchiha unfolds!
Great chapter, really looking forward to how this plays out. Super interested to see how the relationship between the Uzumaki and Uchiha unfolds!
4/17 c102 Borello
interesting work
interesting work
4/16 c102 Guest
When hedorah was mentioned in this chapter it definitely reminded me of him from Godzilla vs hedorah movie definitely a reference to him
When hedorah was mentioned in this chapter it definitely reminded me of him from Godzilla vs hedorah movie definitely a reference to him
4/16 c102 
2biginferno
you should be proud look at the number of favorites and follow I have immensely enjoyed this story I am wondering whats happening next that said i dont think theres anything that someone could give Tayuya to let them use her husband Naruto for any purpose shes fiercely protective of him I think she would kill just to keep him with her
2biginfernoyou should be proud look at the number of favorites and follow I have immensely enjoyed this story I am wondering whats happening next that said i dont think theres anything that someone could give Tayuya to let them use her husband Naruto for any purpose shes fiercely protective of him I think she would kill just to keep him with her
4/9 c101 Borello
very interesting work
very interesting work
4/6 c100 Scarease
Consider that Yanamaka essential eject soul form their body make sense would have knowledge on Demons ,Evil Spirits and otehr supernatural thing might try cut their cord and claim their body as vessel .
it reminds me of my own Plot with demons as they are embodiment of Evil ,Chaos and negative aspect of the Universe .Seek to destroy ,corrupt ,pervert and twist all thing to their liking .
Plot had tailed beast given duty to also insure that Demon never able break out of their prisons or corrupt the land .Reason tailed beast sense negative emotions so insure location does become demonic influenced .Area's or cities fallen to far into their taint are cleansed by tailed beasts .
Consider that Yanamaka essential eject soul form their body make sense would have knowledge on Demons ,Evil Spirits and otehr supernatural thing might try cut their cord and claim their body as vessel .
it reminds me of my own Plot with demons as they are embodiment of Evil ,Chaos and negative aspect of the Universe .Seek to destroy ,corrupt ,pervert and twist all thing to their liking .
Plot had tailed beast given duty to also insure that Demon never able break out of their prisons or corrupt the land .Reason tailed beast sense negative emotions so insure location does become demonic influenced .Area's or cities fallen to far into their taint are cleansed by tailed beasts .
4/6 c100 GhostSoldier1
3 years of grinding and an epic tale longer than a vast majority of fanfics I’ve read since my middle school days. Congratulations dude. Also, you spelled Haruno wrong again lol
3 years of grinding and an epic tale longer than a vast majority of fanfics I’ve read since my middle school days. Congratulations dude. Also, you spelled Haruno wrong again lol
4/6 c100 2biginferno
feeling bad for Tayuya, seems a web of internal corruption is what Ino is finding and she will probably dish out some pain from her groups reach punishing those taking bribes every chapter is more epic than the last going to be sad when this story ends but hope more will follow with Naruto and his harem of wives especially Tayuya
2biginfernofeeling bad for Tayuya, seems a web of internal corruption is what Ino is finding and she will probably dish out some pain from her groups reach punishing those taking bribes every chapter is more epic than the last going to be sad when this story ends but hope more will follow with Naruto and his harem of wives especially Tayuya
4/1 c99 Borello
really great work
really great work