FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Assorted Attempts

9/2/2022 c35 4Tendragos
Techknight sounds interesting, as do a lot of the other choices.

Thanks for putting out another interesting chapter my friend.
9/2/2022 c35 1Batman4u
For the Builder class, Lung/Kenta might point out that since Taylor is a metahuman and NOT a cape, there's a chance her creations will NOT be tinkertech and can be studied by non-cape scientists.

With that in mind, Armsmaster and Dragon may ask Taylor to go over the full list of Builder subcategories and see which specialty has the most utilitarian potential.

Any un-black-boxed technology would be a gamechanger (no pun intended), especially in Earth-Bet where global infrastructure has been slowly falling apart for the last 30 years.
9/2/2022 c35 Bucio
Opinion A Builder, with some of her specialties being useful in giving Dragon a hand, perhaps turning her into a Ship Girl or a body similar to that of the Human Cylons from BS Galactica
9/2/2022 c35 drvash
Choice A) Builder-robots.

Choice B) New Wave.

I've never seen a story where Tinker!Taylor joins New Wave.
9/2/2022 c35 3wolfey141
Choice A) I vote summoner causew thats what I play in FFXIV lol.

Choice B) I choose rogue/hero who helps ABB slowly go legit and crushes the E88 and merchants.
8/31/2022 c34 Eriktheviking70
Another great engrossing read, well done, and thank you.
8/31/2022 c34 1Cemalidor
Another story/chapter made of win. :XD Thanks there for all those shout-outs, even if i probably missed the half because of cultural background. But i absolutely loved that MASH one.
8/31/2022 c34 FreeAllFrogs
LOL wonderful. Thanks
8/30/2022 c34 KrisB-71854
I enjoyed the one where Danny had the CF a bit more. It was more of a summary timeline thing though.

This one didn't really have any plot, but there was reactions and dialog to the crazy stuff the forge was producing.

I liked your gamer overlay. Not sure that the stats all make any sense. The stuff for the base expansions though worked rather well in both fics.

There were a few things that felt off. Contessa showing up on Mars felt odd. I could see her visiting, but the entire thing would put her in danger of being caught.

She'd be a major disadvantage just getting by without her power.

You had what sounded like Tattletale show up on the base. That made no sense. Coil had already been warned off at that time. I could see Tattletale trying to move and live on the base. The same for Dinah as well.

The thing is by that point all the 3 letter agencies were heavily screening everyone coming and going. Tattletale should have been picked up and detained or left on Mars.

All the spy agencies showing up in less than two months felt odd after reading things twice. I could see the Dockworkers already having that many local agents in place just checking up on things. The various folks trying to find out what was going on Mars? That should have been nearly impossible to figure out.

I was glad that you skipped any scenes with Shadow Stalker. You did well handling her off screen.

One bit though is you didn't show any interaction with the Wards. I could see PR wanting to parade her around as a Ward. I could also see various folks wanting her to have the full Ward experience. She was also far to valuable just staying on Mars churning out things.

I think that's why I liked the Danny fic better. He started off mainly doing things with the cars, but later on when get joined the guild it seemed like he was outsourcing things to others. That Taylor was getting massive bonuses just by being able to use the tools and play around with the advanced tech.

This one. Taylor is stuck in a lab. Danny is fine with the other dockworkers.

It might have almost been better if the POV were one of the dockworkers or PRT staff assigned to things. They watched and saw everything, but only vaguely understood a bit of whatever.

One bit. In Danny's CF it felt more like everyone in the warehouse or in his employee were seeing his status updates and notifications of base upgrades. In this one, it was stated that Taylor status screen was viewable only to herself. It seemed implied that everyone there could hear some announcement or something. It wasn't clear or not if they were.

I'd be fine if only whoever had the forge and their proper companions got the notifications. The real question is how would you define/recruit companions.

I liked that various groups were getting involved. I was mixed that the PRT had to be a major factor and Cauldron needed to be in the loop and approve of things. That made it easier sure.

It would have been a bit more amusing if the parahumans/shards couldn't scan the various results of the Forge and those that worked with it. Sort of like if you did the Danny CF, but ended up going the Distance Learning route and by passed the entire PRT/Guild thing even being in the loop.

Various other government agencies, yes. The PRT and anyone normally in the cape scene? Nope. It would have been amusing to see the precogs bounce when trying to figure out what was going on.

I don't think the spies would have started showing up until the Dockworkers had suddenly started hiring and were in the thousands again. If things were spread out over a few more months, I could buy that more. You needed some external POV of what was leaked on why the sudden spy interest.

Even if they thought the US had various good tinker toys, by this point everyone has been burnt out on unfilled tinker promises. This is one of the rare ones that is actually fulfilling the promise. If anything the entire thing should feel like a giant honey pot to the various agents.

If there was a legit super scientist, they wouldn't be a parahuman or in the PRT loop. That the PRT was involved would be enough to screen them though. Just a tinker nothing important going on there.

This sort of has a doormaker dog vibe to it.
8/30/2022 c34 kaws
I hope you have more coming. This version has been awesome.
8/30/2022 c34 1Rubel
Very Fun.
8/30/2022 c34 Mugen-Muse
Well, that was entertaining in multiple ways. Pretty sure the latest ability will have quite the mob of people saying, "shut up and take my money!" Or something like that. Still, seeing the protagonist get a CYOA that gives out powers and improves quality of life sounds interesting. Most Celestial Forge stories seem to have a self-insert character show up to shake things up. So far, giving the protagonist a CYOA of any kind to have fun with seems to be a rare thing. Doubly so if the CYOA happens to be for the world that the protagonist calls "home."
8/30/2022 c34 Vandenbz
Why does every line have the letter 'p' at the end of it? Far too distracting.
8/30/2022 c34 Martian-Tech-Adept
I think you need to repost the chapter, every paragraph has a P placed on the end.
8/24/2022 c33 Armiture
While not exactly a story, it was a very entertaining read of a surreal slice of life journal.

I particularly liked the easter eggs and laughed out loud at the Spy X Family reference.

Is "Brockton's Celestial Forge" another fanfiction or another CYOA game, I'm not familiar with it?
407 « Prev Page 1 .. 3 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 23 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service