for The Ascendance of a Songbird12/12/2021 c1 
1Radio Free Death
[Yet here I am, telling you, the people of Panem, about it. Some bits and pieces, you know because you've seen it. Others you've guessed because you are not as stupid or blind as some would want to think. But, for the most part, you don't know. Not by choice or Naiveté. You don't know because no one wanted you to know. Not Coriolanus Snow and definitely not myself. Hell, even Snow isn't aware of all the facts yet.]
When writing a story meant for someone else to pick up and read, it's not a good idea to insult said reader in the narrative. Otherwise, why would they want to continue reading?
'You don't know because no one wanted you to know'. Not exactly. This wasn't some grand conspiracy that even the president wasn't privy to - it's just something the narrator didn't share up until now. You can't claim it was hidden away from you when you don't even let it out in the first place.
And she's apparently doing all of this in front of a camera? It doesn't feel like a confession, but like how someone would think someone writing out a memoir would sound like. You need to get to the point otherwise.
1Radio Free Death[Yet here I am, telling you, the people of Panem, about it. Some bits and pieces, you know because you've seen it. Others you've guessed because you are not as stupid or blind as some would want to think. But, for the most part, you don't know. Not by choice or Naiveté. You don't know because no one wanted you to know. Not Coriolanus Snow and definitely not myself. Hell, even Snow isn't aware of all the facts yet.]
When writing a story meant for someone else to pick up and read, it's not a good idea to insult said reader in the narrative. Otherwise, why would they want to continue reading?
'You don't know because no one wanted you to know'. Not exactly. This wasn't some grand conspiracy that even the president wasn't privy to - it's just something the narrator didn't share up until now. You can't claim it was hidden away from you when you don't even let it out in the first place.
And she's apparently doing all of this in front of a camera? It doesn't feel like a confession, but like how someone would think someone writing out a memoir would sound like. You need to get to the point otherwise.