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for Fleur De Lis

1/2/2022 c1 6Yaw6113
Please write the next chapter already. Thank you very much. I really appreciated it and liked it a lot.
1/2/2022 c1 9DaSalvatore
Gonna go with Snape as the mentor due to Harry's go-to spell chain starter being a Sectumsepra. It IS the HBP's signature lethal spell, after all.

I'm interested in seeing where this goes. I hope it doesn't follow Cadmean Victory's steps too closely as I've _never_ been a fan of how that story turned out.

One thing that popped out was that Harry's member of the WC attack had him remembering his rough childhood in the second paragraph. Essentially, a borderline member-ception. What out for these as they tend not to feel realistic. We generally don't remember an event that has us remember another event(s), our brains just skip to the core/key member being remembered. And reader's will often wonder why you didn't just skip the first flash-back.

Now, you didn't actually do this, so it's not a major deal for the chapter. But you brush along the line and it definitely stood out to me.

I enjoyed the memory. Especially Harry and Lily bonding over fighting the Death Eaters. It sounds like you've gone the more realistic route and made Harry's upbringing akin to loving but distant workaholic parents who "need" a nanny for the emotional parts of raising their child, rather than a copy/paste of the Dursley abuse. Which is GOOD. Thank you.

I'm interested in seeing what happens with this one.
1/1/2022 c1 meeeeeeeeeeep
great chapter!
1/1/2022 c1 insanecoop
Good opening chapter and looking forward to reading more
1/1/2022 c1 Premedicated
I know it wont matter much since you've already written ahead a decent amount. But there's nothing wrong with drawing inspiration from A Cadmean Victory, especially with how iconic of a fanfic it is. But I do find that your Potter parents and little brother are all pretty likeable so far, so I like that you've subverting the abusive parents and arrogant little brother tropes. Since you don't explicitly say WBWL or not in your summary, I assume that's still not clear at the time, so it would be interesting to see a strong Harry, who actually isn't the BWL, and the protectorate role he plays for his little brother.
1/1/2022 c1 avidnarutofan
This seems intriguing. I look forward to seeing what you do with this.

However, this chapter could do with some fixes, mostly punctuation. Full stops could be used more as well as other types of punctuation.

Some sort of page break or separation could also be shown to distinguish the present from the flashback. It was a bit hard to read especially when combined with a lack of punctuation.
1/1/2022 c1 4DaDragon562
Interesting plot line. Having grindlewald mentor seems to be a more popular trope recently and one I personally am enjoying. Curious to see how this plays out and if this is a magic is absolute Harry or something else.
1/1/2022 c1 cameron1812
Loving it already. The flashback was excellent and the setup is interesting! Guessing we we will see quite a few more flashbacks as the story builds? Thank you!
1/1/2022 c1 Raceman1234
Love the premise! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
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