for Digimon Adventures: Retold10/14/2022 c2 
5OmnicromXR
What is this?
No seriously, I have no clue what is happening in the story. I will admit that I was leery since a story without a summary is already a bad sign. I doubled down on being leery when the story opens with the big long list of character's ages, a thing that is almost never important, and I tripled down when I glanced at the author's profile and it looks like a chain letter.
Before going any further to talk about the content of the story, I will point out that the rudimentary nuts and bolts of English are not followed here. Characters shouldn't be speaking in all caps, there's a lot of pointless swearing, there is no scene setting or descriptors of the world, multiple characters speak in a single paragraph (whenever a different character says something they should have their own paragraph), pointless things are listed in needless detail (it is not important that the white-haired guy who is Daisuke is exactly 1.75 Meters tall, it is enough to call him "abnormally thin and tall"), and there seems to be little thought given to pacing and flow.
And given that I've broached that subject, I'll say again I have no idea what is happening in this story. Scene one of chapter one is a weird sequence between Daisuke and Jun that doesn't seem to matter except Daisuke has red hair now and their dynamic feels wrong, then the scene changes and suddenly Daisuke is being choked by himself with white hair from the future? I think? And with absolutely no interstitial detail of how this is happening? Then Daisuke glows and vanishes and is in the digital world now? And then also Daisuke doesn't know where Daisuke has gone to despite having a Digimon partner? It doesn't occur to them to think he might be in the Digital World? Not like I can make heads or tails of who also!Daisuke is supposed to be. And speaking of the Digital World he's been there for a week after just vanishing? Was he having a flashback dream? It would be very nice to know that because suddenly, without any warning there's a Puttimon and a Fla Wizarmon there with him that he knows already? What just happened?
And then wham, we are in chapter 2 and apparently eight-year-old(?) Daisuke is acting extremely out of character and looking down on the "Digidestined" (which ones? When is this happening?) and also is a knight who is leading a rebellion against an unnamed Digimon bad guy and has a Firamon and a Cupimon who I guess evolved from the Puttimon and might be his partner? And he's being ridiculously put over like a Mary Sue in an oddly distracting way that's also very out of character for him and that he meets a bunch of other kids who aren't named? Then we get some swearing, a random array of really powerful Digimon who also Mary Sue fawn over him in a way that continues to be weirdly out of character and then the chapter ends.
I'm stumped. I honestly, genuinely, sincerely do not understand what is happening in this story. Just about the only thing I'm sure of is that Daisuke doesn't read like Daisuke, and I am in strange waters when I'm latching onto someone being strikingly out of character as an anchor for this story.
So no, I'm afraid I don't like it. I know you said I should only review it if I do like it, but when a story leaves me completely baffled I'm afraid I also have to review/comment if only for posterity. And yes, I am completely baffled by this story.
5OmnicromXRWhat is this?
No seriously, I have no clue what is happening in the story. I will admit that I was leery since a story without a summary is already a bad sign. I doubled down on being leery when the story opens with the big long list of character's ages, a thing that is almost never important, and I tripled down when I glanced at the author's profile and it looks like a chain letter.
Before going any further to talk about the content of the story, I will point out that the rudimentary nuts and bolts of English are not followed here. Characters shouldn't be speaking in all caps, there's a lot of pointless swearing, there is no scene setting or descriptors of the world, multiple characters speak in a single paragraph (whenever a different character says something they should have their own paragraph), pointless things are listed in needless detail (it is not important that the white-haired guy who is Daisuke is exactly 1.75 Meters tall, it is enough to call him "abnormally thin and tall"), and there seems to be little thought given to pacing and flow.
And given that I've broached that subject, I'll say again I have no idea what is happening in this story. Scene one of chapter one is a weird sequence between Daisuke and Jun that doesn't seem to matter except Daisuke has red hair now and their dynamic feels wrong, then the scene changes and suddenly Daisuke is being choked by himself with white hair from the future? I think? And with absolutely no interstitial detail of how this is happening? Then Daisuke glows and vanishes and is in the digital world now? And then also Daisuke doesn't know where Daisuke has gone to despite having a Digimon partner? It doesn't occur to them to think he might be in the Digital World? Not like I can make heads or tails of who also!Daisuke is supposed to be. And speaking of the Digital World he's been there for a week after just vanishing? Was he having a flashback dream? It would be very nice to know that because suddenly, without any warning there's a Puttimon and a Fla Wizarmon there with him that he knows already? What just happened?
And then wham, we are in chapter 2 and apparently eight-year-old(?) Daisuke is acting extremely out of character and looking down on the "Digidestined" (which ones? When is this happening?) and also is a knight who is leading a rebellion against an unnamed Digimon bad guy and has a Firamon and a Cupimon who I guess evolved from the Puttimon and might be his partner? And he's being ridiculously put over like a Mary Sue in an oddly distracting way that's also very out of character for him and that he meets a bunch of other kids who aren't named? Then we get some swearing, a random array of really powerful Digimon who also Mary Sue fawn over him in a way that continues to be weirdly out of character and then the chapter ends.
I'm stumped. I honestly, genuinely, sincerely do not understand what is happening in this story. Just about the only thing I'm sure of is that Daisuke doesn't read like Daisuke, and I am in strange waters when I'm latching onto someone being strikingly out of character as an anchor for this story.
So no, I'm afraid I don't like it. I know you said I should only review it if I do like it, but when a story leaves me completely baffled I'm afraid I also have to review/comment if only for posterity. And yes, I am completely baffled by this story.