for Naruto: The Leveling Shinobi2/3/2022 c3 IAmAuthorMan
Maybe a tanto or a chakra blade? I personally think a one handed weapon would suit Naruto the best, as it means the Rasengan (which I assume you’ll have Naruto learn eventually) is something Naruto can always use in any situation once he masters it.
Maybe a tanto or a chakra blade? I personally think a one handed weapon would suit Naruto the best, as it means the Rasengan (which I assume you’ll have Naruto learn eventually) is something Naruto can always use in any situation once he masters it.
2/2/2022 c3 a.f4t
The sword that Naruto uses should be far too big to be called a sword. it should be far too thick, too heavy and too rough. Indeed it should be more like a large hunk of iron. Additionally, it should make CLANG noises after every hit, even if it's air.
The sword that Naruto uses should be far too big to be called a sword. it should be far too thick, too heavy and too rough. Indeed it should be more like a large hunk of iron. Additionally, it should make CLANG noises after every hit, even if it's air.
2/2/2022 c3 Lamont
As for pairings I think Fu,ino and Tenten are the way to go.
For weapons I think the trench knives (Asumas weapons) would be great as Naruto is usually a close range fighter and I don't see him as a long range or medium range fighter. The trench knives if I'm remembering right kinda has metal blocking his fingers to potentially be used to help increase the damage of Taijutsu.
I'd say Danzi personally. He might not be the hardest straight forward battle but he has the attacks to negate damage at a cost of a Sharigan and the one that can manipulate people easily. He also has hand picked soliders that will do anything he wants.
As for pairings I think Fu,ino and Tenten are the way to go.
For weapons I think the trench knives (Asumas weapons) would be great as Naruto is usually a close range fighter and I don't see him as a long range or medium range fighter. The trench knives if I'm remembering right kinda has metal blocking his fingers to potentially be used to help increase the damage of Taijutsu.
I'd say Danzi personally. He might not be the hardest straight forward battle but he has the attacks to negate damage at a cost of a Sharigan and the one that can manipulate people easily. He also has hand picked soliders that will do anything he wants.
2/2/2022 c3 
8ScepticalOne
Considering my first complaint is an increadibly minor one, I think you're still on a good roll. But when you have Naruto using observe on the same person at a later date and nothing has changed you can leave it at just the identifying information and cut out the stats, unless there's a purpose in showing it (like hp to show a certain scarecrow is unscathed). But this is a nitpick more than anything.
Gotta say, I do like how you made Sasuke and Naruto work a bit harder to get the drop on Zabuza, although it's something that makes Naruto's power growth a bit harder to see.
But I do feel like Naruto was a bit too smart towards the end, and that Haku broke cover too easily, and later that brief moment of Sasuke suspicion, although that may just be a knee jerk because of certain other prevalent tropes.
A kunai can still be dangerous, but power creep makes Zabuza seem less impressive.
I've already given my opinion on the shipping, so I'll leave that there.
If you give Naruto a weapon, I'd suggest something like Knuckles or claws, Naruto seems too much of a brawler to work well with any weapon that requires discipline to use.
Kabuto is my favorite Villain, to the point I was upset that Kishimoto took so long to give Kabuto as awesome of a backstory as he did, although that was more of a retrospective thing.
I think 5k words is a pretty good word average.
Sorry sir, I'm a weeb, I don't like the sportsball.
8ScepticalOneConsidering my first complaint is an increadibly minor one, I think you're still on a good roll. But when you have Naruto using observe on the same person at a later date and nothing has changed you can leave it at just the identifying information and cut out the stats, unless there's a purpose in showing it (like hp to show a certain scarecrow is unscathed). But this is a nitpick more than anything.
Gotta say, I do like how you made Sasuke and Naruto work a bit harder to get the drop on Zabuza, although it's something that makes Naruto's power growth a bit harder to see.
But I do feel like Naruto was a bit too smart towards the end, and that Haku broke cover too easily, and later that brief moment of Sasuke suspicion, although that may just be a knee jerk because of certain other prevalent tropes.
A kunai can still be dangerous, but power creep makes Zabuza seem less impressive.
I've already given my opinion on the shipping, so I'll leave that there.
If you give Naruto a weapon, I'd suggest something like Knuckles or claws, Naruto seems too much of a brawler to work well with any weapon that requires discipline to use.
Kabuto is my favorite Villain, to the point I was upset that Kishimoto took so long to give Kabuto as awesome of a backstory as he did, although that was more of a retrospective thing.
I think 5k words is a pretty good word average.
Sorry sir, I'm a weeb, I don't like the sportsball.
2/2/2022 c3 Koncor the great
Well I think that was a weirdly cute interaction with haku not sure how to say it but you could almost feal tsundere energy as naruto made his declaration and the gears in her head just ground to a hult and she panicked and took a hostage.
Finally someone gave haku some wind jutsu I'm liking this take on haku more and more so much I'm interested in her as a ship option ever slightly more maybe not so much naruto but perhaps sauske after all sauske can empathise with the family massacre thing and the zabuza stuff plus it might be a healthy change to Sasuke's life and make him stop being so single-minded and see the obvious itachi is trying to commit suacide flags and start asking the right questions.
Still ship naruto and tayuya but I wouldn't be above kin getting wrapped up in all this after all both kakashi and naruto are in the hospital just after kabato the obvious traitor tried to kill sauske and about wean he killed or captured kin and zaku to edo tensai zaku's ninja career is over and kabito used no one expecting him to be in the hospital to do the deed so if zaku can make enough of a distraction in a sacrifice kin can get away.
Is it strange that I think that a pink haired metal lee with the 8 gates seal of 100 and tsunde's super strength would be weirdly fun so yeah ship lee and sakura
Weapon for Naruto gota be the kiba those dule blades and uchiha taijutsu would make him basically a bayblade from hell ripping and tearing with every evasive action till it's death by 100 cuts.
Orochimaru. I wish I was joking because of how poorly he was treated by the wrighter but literally wean you actually consider some of his feats even if they don't look impressive on paper those feats are generally done casually with no real signs of pressure on him with huge disabilities added on weakening him serveaily post his fight with the third hokage.
Either or.
Well I think that was a weirdly cute interaction with haku not sure how to say it but you could almost feal tsundere energy as naruto made his declaration and the gears in her head just ground to a hult and she panicked and took a hostage.
Finally someone gave haku some wind jutsu I'm liking this take on haku more and more so much I'm interested in her as a ship option ever slightly more maybe not so much naruto but perhaps sauske after all sauske can empathise with the family massacre thing and the zabuza stuff plus it might be a healthy change to Sasuke's life and make him stop being so single-minded and see the obvious itachi is trying to commit suacide flags and start asking the right questions.
Still ship naruto and tayuya but I wouldn't be above kin getting wrapped up in all this after all both kakashi and naruto are in the hospital just after kabato the obvious traitor tried to kill sauske and about wean he killed or captured kin and zaku to edo tensai zaku's ninja career is over and kabito used no one expecting him to be in the hospital to do the deed so if zaku can make enough of a distraction in a sacrifice kin can get away.
Is it strange that I think that a pink haired metal lee with the 8 gates seal of 100 and tsunde's super strength would be weirdly fun so yeah ship lee and sakura
Weapon for Naruto gota be the kiba those dule blades and uchiha taijutsu would make him basically a bayblade from hell ripping and tearing with every evasive action till it's death by 100 cuts.
Orochimaru. I wish I was joking because of how poorly he was treated by the wrighter but literally wean you actually consider some of his feats even if they don't look impressive on paper those feats are generally done casually with no real signs of pressure on him with huge disabilities added on weakening him serveaily post his fight with the third hokage.
Either or.
2/2/2022 c3 natsu00
I came to discover your story and I found it interesting, after this cool thing, what you did and how your beginnings made Naruto evolve, so I hope you don't put sakura or hinata or tenten or ino as a couple with naruto seen we see this type of couple a little too much, I would like it to be with one of the women, anko, ryûzetsu, samui, yugito, temari, kaguya, koyuki, oc uchiwa, hana, kurenai, yugao, or a character from another anime, I would like naruto to use two katana for him then use the techinque has a saber and has two sabers that zoro ronoroa uses and the two katana his will be shusui and second his will be between one of the katana I put like Wado Ichimonji, Enma, Sandai Kitetsu, Yamato (Devil May Cry)
as a villain in naruto i would say madara uchiha.
I think the length of your chapter long after you can get a bit longer like 6000 words.
I hope that naruto discovers his heritage and his uzumaki clan and uses the chains of his clan frankly naruto the merit seen are childhood, I would like to know if the parents of naruto are alive or not? (since there are fanfiction starts the same like yours and later in the story he discovers these parents are living with brother and sister, and he does not deserve forgiveness)
a moment naruto will discover that jiraiya is his godfather seen because of his ability to see people's profiles, frankly he did nothing for naruto for 12 or 13 years of his life and he does not deserve forgiveness, a moment naruto can use the mokuton seen it is the ashura reincarnation, after I can give another idea again
I came to discover your story and I found it interesting, after this cool thing, what you did and how your beginnings made Naruto evolve, so I hope you don't put sakura or hinata or tenten or ino as a couple with naruto seen we see this type of couple a little too much, I would like it to be with one of the women, anko, ryûzetsu, samui, yugito, temari, kaguya, koyuki, oc uchiwa, hana, kurenai, yugao, or a character from another anime, I would like naruto to use two katana for him then use the techinque has a saber and has two sabers that zoro ronoroa uses and the two katana his will be shusui and second his will be between one of the katana I put like Wado Ichimonji, Enma, Sandai Kitetsu, Yamato (Devil May Cry)
as a villain in naruto i would say madara uchiha.
I think the length of your chapter long after you can get a bit longer like 6000 words.
I hope that naruto discovers his heritage and his uzumaki clan and uses the chains of his clan frankly naruto the merit seen are childhood, I would like to know if the parents of naruto are alive or not? (since there are fanfiction starts the same like yours and later in the story he discovers these parents are living with brother and sister, and he does not deserve forgiveness)
a moment naruto will discover that jiraiya is his godfather seen because of his ability to see people's profiles, frankly he did nothing for naruto for 12 or 13 years of his life and he does not deserve forgiveness, a moment naruto can use the mokuton seen it is the ashura reincarnation, after I can give another idea again
2/2/2022 c1 hbJnAWyvblkD6821jn
Gamer's Mind: OP as balls. AFAIK it basically renders genjutsu null right? Nerfed version is fine, maybe scatter bits and pieces across multiple skills.
Pairing: No specific preference.
Sakura: Kishimoto has this problem where he writes pretty one-dimensional female characters that's never quite explored as thoroughly as the male characters. Sakura is snubbed of her potential as a character by the decision to keep on progressing plot instead of worldbuilding or character development or anything else. It didn't help that she became a medic (which is sadly super unexplored even compared to fuinjutsu or genjutsu), and basically had the fighting technique of a dead fish pre-Shippuden and a carbon copy of another, more beloved female character post-Timeskip. The punch-first-think-later mindset doesn't help.
My opinion: If you do romance just do it right.
Story so far is okay, I guess. It's a bit of a rehashing of canon with some deviation so far. Pacing is kind of fast for me. Keep up the good work.
Gamer's Mind: OP as balls. AFAIK it basically renders genjutsu null right? Nerfed version is fine, maybe scatter bits and pieces across multiple skills.
Pairing: No specific preference.
Sakura: Kishimoto has this problem where he writes pretty one-dimensional female characters that's never quite explored as thoroughly as the male characters. Sakura is snubbed of her potential as a character by the decision to keep on progressing plot instead of worldbuilding or character development or anything else. It didn't help that she became a medic (which is sadly super unexplored even compared to fuinjutsu or genjutsu), and basically had the fighting technique of a dead fish pre-Shippuden and a carbon copy of another, more beloved female character post-Timeskip. The punch-first-think-later mindset doesn't help.
My opinion: If you do romance just do it right.
Story so far is okay, I guess. It's a bit of a rehashing of canon with some deviation so far. Pacing is kind of fast for me. Keep up the good work.
2/2/2022 c2 Exodus12345
Only one attribute per level up seems like he will really be a lot weaker than others as time goes on. There should maybe be 3-4 so he does not fall behind if his strength is entirely reliant on that system.
Only one attribute per level up seems like he will really be a lot weaker than others as time goes on. There should maybe be 3-4 so he does not fall behind if his strength is entirely reliant on that system.
2/2/2022 c1 Exodus12345
Honestly why does every single Gamer fanfic nerf the Gamer system? Especially in worlds where the big bosses can destroy entire cities or mountain ranges with ease? Hell Kaguya's Strongest attack can supposedly destroy the world. I would like an OP Gamer fanfic in Naruto for once. I came for an OP MC, nothing else. If I wanted to see the MC struggle I would watch the original series.
Honestly why does every single Gamer fanfic nerf the Gamer system? Especially in worlds where the big bosses can destroy entire cities or mountain ranges with ease? Hell Kaguya's Strongest attack can supposedly destroy the world. I would like an OP Gamer fanfic in Naruto for once. I came for an OP MC, nothing else. If I wanted to see the MC struggle I would watch the original series.
2/1/2022 c3 Guest
Loving it so far, I think he should use a bo staff, but honestly I have no idea what you have planned for his fighting style and abilities, maybe a scythe for his wind nature and extra damage while still keeping the reach and some of the style a bo staff would use
Loving it so far, I think he should use a bo staff, but honestly I have no idea what you have planned for his fighting style and abilities, maybe a scythe for his wind nature and extra damage while still keeping the reach and some of the style a bo staff would use
2/1/2022 c1 niybruh
Naruto and one of the female jinchuriki
No Gamers mind atleast until sage naruto as thats when he gets a more serious personality. It would be suspicious if the loudmouth changed overnight.
Naruto and one of the female jinchuriki
No Gamers mind atleast until sage naruto as thats when he gets a more serious personality. It would be suspicious if the loudmouth changed overnight.
2/1/2022 c3 1StrangestQuark
I like that you didn't immediately change Naruto's personality. You could have and have it be somewhat justified but I always prefer gradual progression to immediate. Other then I don't have much to say about the chapter. It was cool, but there wasn't any real derivation from the original other then the fight's exact details.
q1: I'd prefer sth other then a sword. Maybe some sort of polearm? That's pretty rare in Naruto.
q2: Pein hands down. He has both a more interesting motive and a lot more connection to Naruto then Madara. I probably prefer Obito to Madara tbh.
1StrangestQuarkI like that you didn't immediately change Naruto's personality. You could have and have it be somewhat justified but I always prefer gradual progression to immediate. Other then I don't have much to say about the chapter. It was cool, but there wasn't any real derivation from the original other then the fight's exact details.
q1: I'd prefer sth other then a sword. Maybe some sort of polearm? That's pretty rare in Naruto.
q2: Pein hands down. He has both a more interesting motive and a lot more connection to Naruto then Madara. I probably prefer Obito to Madara tbh.
2/1/2022 c3 1theIrishWriter
I would suggested for the pairing/shipping do what you want, just don't have it appear out of nowhere, or have it Naruto suddenly likes a character that he didn't before. in short don't do what the Last did.
personally choice Sakura and Naruto, they were the most developed relationship in the Canon, until the Last. or a developed NaruHina or NaruIno
Weapons, I not sure what would fit with Naruto, he likely too fast for a Club or a Hammer, maybe his father's Kunai, or short sword, a Japanese fighting spear, or a Bo-Staff.
My Favourite villain is Zabuza, he a villain with layers,
Frankly alot of the Villian are just puppets for someone else (Madara, Pain, Obito), or so misguided that it kind of hard to understand there POV (BZ, Kayuga Orchi) or frankly just idiots (that instructor)
1theIrishWriterI would suggested for the pairing/shipping do what you want, just don't have it appear out of nowhere, or have it Naruto suddenly likes a character that he didn't before. in short don't do what the Last did.
personally choice Sakura and Naruto, they were the most developed relationship in the Canon, until the Last. or a developed NaruHina or NaruIno
Weapons, I not sure what would fit with Naruto, he likely too fast for a Club or a Hammer, maybe his father's Kunai, or short sword, a Japanese fighting spear, or a Bo-Staff.
My Favourite villain is Zabuza, he a villain with layers,
Frankly alot of the Villian are just puppets for someone else (Madara, Pain, Obito), or so misguided that it kind of hard to understand there POV (BZ, Kayuga Orchi) or frankly just idiots (that instructor)