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for If I Die Young

5/31 c16 7QueenOfFunerals37
HOOOOOLY HAZARDS OF LOVE CALDWELL ACTUALLY NOTICED ALESSIO. AND NOW THEY’RE TALKING? I am genuinely surprised. I love their conversation. It’s so sweet and sad. There seems to be a genuine connection between them but they’re both so socially-awkward and self-loathing that they both agree to ignore it and go their separate ways. That entire conversation was just Alessio *almost* letting his guard down. Somehow, that’s even sadder than the scenario I had in my mind of Caldwell just having no idea Alessio even exists. They actually could’ve had something. And why do I get the feeling that Alessio’s going to join the Careers and then they’ll target Caldwell and Alessio will be even more conflicted than he usually is? This relationship has so much potential to break my heart.

And speaking of heartbreaking, ASA AND LUZ OH MY GOODNESS! Asa’s backstory is so sad! He is in desperate need of a hug. Luckily he has Luz. They are just so sweet together. I’m glad they’re going to get a lot of happy moments together before one of them inevitably dies and my heart is ripped from my chest. I think it’ll be more painful if Luz dies first because I feel like Asa would be totally lost without her. Asa doesn’t seem to have anyone to live for besides Luz but Luz has a family so she might have a motive to get back to them. But then I’ve just read an Asa POV and seen all the reasons why he wants to sacrifice himself. Luz might have good reasons to sacrifice herself for Asa that we haven’t seen here so I’m excited to see one of her POVs to see how this develops.

Currently, I’m rooting for Luz to win and Asa to come third so someone else kills him and we don’t have the pain of seeing the Nines in the final two. Maybe Blade can be the second place tribute who kills Asa only to get killed by Luz out of revenge? Luz, Asa and Blade are probably my three favourites but Luz is the only one I really want to see win the games. Somehow, Asa and Blade’s submitters have done the impossible and created tributes I absolutely adore but I just don’t want to win. How is that possible?

Wren is an absolute force of nature. I feel like she’s going to take some risks in the arena. Whether they’ll pay off is another thing. I love how we go from Caldwell and Alessio’s ‘Will they? Won’t they? Oh, they won’t…’ angst, to Luz and Asa’s ‘star-crossed lovers’ angst to the most angst-free pair of tributes in the arena. Wren and Cady are an absolute joy to read about. They’re besties already! I feel like they’re both going to have a lot of fun, despite at least one of the, being doomed.

Felicia is a bit of a tragic character. Society’s kind of limited her to looking pretty. I hope she realises she has other strengths. She seems to be really smart and I hope she embraces that. I like the image of Felicia going around training, flirting with all the guys and hoping they’ll ally with her. I wonder which of them laughed. I’m guessing it was a filler. I’m also wondering if Felicia tried flirting with Alessio because that would’ve been the most hilariously awkward scene ever. Speaking of awkwardness, Felicia and Buck are a strange pair. I get the feeling Buck is faking his feelings for Felicia and Felicia knows this but she’s ignoring how wrong their relationship feels because her priorities are skewed. I can’t see this ending well. It’s kind of the opposite end of the scale to Caldwell and Alessio. One pair have chemistry but they’re ignoring it because they’re both self-loathing loners and one pair have absolutely no chemistry but they’re ignoring that because they’re both desperate for an ally/partner. In fact, one of the general themes this chapter (aside from relationships) is denial. Caldwell’s in denial about his feelings for Alessio, Wren’s in denial about the fact she’s going into a death games and Felicia’s in denial about Buck not really being into her. The only POV character here who I think is truly in touch with their feelings is Asa.

Thanks for such a fantastic chapter. I’m really interested to see how all the relationships you’ve set up develop.
5/26 c15 2KatDog42
Although Naya is the leader of the Careers, it appears that she also made some enemies. Tremor seems much stronger than she is (physically) which might be a problem. Tremor is interesting. I'm excited to see how his story and loyalty to the Capitol will develop/change. I'm glad we got to know more about Jack's story! I hope she does well in the Games! Finally, Cal and Colby's relationship is intriguing. Will Cal be able to help his sister, or will he die trying? Or will Colby die first? I can't wait for Training Day Two!
5/24 c15 7QueenOfFunerals37
It’s nice to see some alliances forming. I like seeing Naya taking on the role as the leader of the Careers. I also think her backstory is really sad. I can’t help but notice a lot of tributes have difficult relationships with at least one of their parents. Naya, the twins, Jack… Speaking of difficult relationships, Naya and Tremor! I get the feeling their alliance won’t last long, since Tremor doesn’t seem to gel with anyone who has a motive besides ‘protect the Capitol’. I feel like those two will be arguing until one of them kills the other and meanwhile Marquis will just be chilling.

So there are only three Careers so far? I guess the angsty boiis, Blade and Alessio, haven’t decided to make themselves visible yet. Will they come out of the woodwork and join the Careers? Or maybe you’ve got something different planned for them. I find it hilarious that Wren - WREN! - was the first outlier to try to join the Careers instead of one of the edgy outlier volunteers. I guess while Blade and Alessio are both tougher than her, she has more confidence than both of them combined.

I’m worried about Jack. She seems really dangerous but also really vulnerable. Her father seems to have really damaged her. Maybe her fear will give her the strength to fight back. Also, Britta and Darla seem like lovely people but they’re filler tributes so I can only imagine you’ll kill them off in the most heart-wrenching way possible. I wonder how Jack will react to that. Will it break her spirit or give her even more resolve to keep fighting? I wonder if any of the other tributes will ally with the filler tributes.

Poor Callisto. He just wants to protect Colby even though she’s awful to him. Why do I get the feeling Colby’s refusal to learn survival skills from him will be her downfall?

I really enjoyed this chapter! I can’t wait to see what’s next. Also, I love In The Heights! I think my favourite song off the top of my head is 96000 because Sonny’s verse is incredible.
5/17 c9 11rising-balloons
asa... i think i've already explained why this intro is my favorite thing ever but to recap: the flight instinct, holding her hand, the hug with consent, love for luz... it's all perfect. i adore it. i adore them. and here's callisto and now we have a totally different perspective on their relationship; colby seems to see him as a screwup, but there's definitely more nuance to this dynamic. burying himself in books... hahaha that's not relatable at all who would ever do that? anyway yeah asa was definitely the highlight of the chapter for me for totally unbiased reasons but! callisto was cool too! on to the next pair!
5/17 c7 rising-balloons
alessio... are you ok? like do you need some help? i cannot imagine hanging out in the mines with ghosts all day does any good things to a person. i'm interested to learn more about him and his beliefs, especially bc right now it does seem like he intends to die. but we'll see. and here's another classic trope in colby and callisto, nice! they are apparently not very similar, and it seems like they've been out of touch for a while, so i'm very interested to see how they interact. colby seems like a smartie and her scheming will be fun to watch. okay awesome on to the next one!
5/17 c14 12Nautics
Dude this was such a good chapter! I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Firstly, Naya introducing herself to the President is so Naya. The President seems very ignorant which is unique defiantly for a syot. With Alessio I had completely forgotten about the fact that he talks to ghosts, it is a trope I’ve seen before but that’s not a bad thing at all, it’s definitely one I enjoy. His backstory is really sad as well so I can understand why he’d turn to the ghosts for support. He just needs a hug I tink. Also, yeah it caught me off guard that the tributes don’t know what the games entail but since they’ve been kept a secret and this is the first televised games makes sense. It’s different from most syots where the second the tribute gets reaped their heart sinks but I don’t know if it would be worse getting taken somewhere first and then just finding out like that. What a shock that would be. Anyway, Blades pov was fantastic, I enjoyed every second of it. We really got a sense of who he is and his background. It was great. Thank you Miri. Also, I’m interested to know who the girl was that helped him, I might have missed that but she seems nice. And we have a nice subplot going on here with Miribelle. Looks like she’s recruiting some Avox’s to overthrow the capitol? Dope!

Again great chapter
5/17 c14 7QueenOfFunerals37
Great to see another POV from Signet! I’m glad he got an orientation dinner POV because this is basically orientation dinner for him as well as the majority of tributes (for Alessio and the Careers, it’s just dinner LOL). Also, as much as I love Signet, I have to admit his cluelessness is really SOMETHING. Ava raised a good point that he probably should’ve researched the games before making them public. Still, I can’t blame him for being a bit chaotic since he’s so young and he’s going through some stuff. Also, this is a bit of a tangent but now Eurovision 2022 has happened, I just naturally associate Signet with Poland’s song in my head and that’s epic because Poland was my second favourite this year.

Yay! Alessio! I had a feeling he’d get a POV or at least a mention during orientation dinner (or just dinner, in his case). It ties in perfectly with his backstory. I love how he remembers his childhood in the Capitol but also feels disconnected from it. And his conversation with the random avox… that was so perfect! It shows that, even though he’s okay with the games, he’s still desperate and out of his depth. And he made eye contact with Caldwell… EYE CONTACT! I didn’t think he’d get even that far to be honest. I’m interested to see what that means for alliances.

I’m also glad to see some of Blade’s backstory. You got both the angsty boiis in one chapter! You are really good at choosing POV order. I love Blade. He’s really awesome. But at the same time I’m kinda rooting for him to die because I fear for Signet’s safety. I can picture him going out in a blaze of glory. Also, I didn’t expect Jack to know sign language. Good for her! I wonder if any of the other tributes know. I like that Blade is thinking of teaming up with the Careers and then betraying them. That’s cool.

Also, the reveal about Mirabelle’s bodyguard… wow, he’s an avox? Poor guy! I’m glad he’s on Mirabelle’s side now. I hope to hear more about him.

I’m loving the pre-games chapters so far! I’m so excited for the next one!
5/16 c14 91Paradigm of Writing
Sorry that this is my first review for the story, as I've been hanging on every word, syllable, and sentence so far. You've been doing an incredible job with the story, and as I said on Discord, this chapter was the best so far, and you're getting better and better with each update. You really understand dynamics extremely well to the point that I may have to take notes, cause they're just really well set up and executed.

I love seeing young presidents, and Signet is no exception. He feels extremely realistic to the point where he can honestly feel like me in a way, y'know, without the whole Hunger Games exception going on, but even beyond that, he's just so human. And Ava yelling at him was not a good look, but not for him, for /her/ cause let's yell at the new president just cause. He hasn't even had a chance to prove himself, and that means Signet is an extremely well-placed position to make the most of it count, which could mean we're in for the wildest ride of them all. And when I tell you, Miri, as I was reading this near my soda machine at work that I promptly squealed and threw a cup of ice in the air in shock and excitement at a tribute of mine physically interacting with an OC from a Capitol storyline actually made my week, I tell you, it made my week already. Naya just throwing herself up there as Signet and her are the same age and wanting to hash down to business that I get that /sinking/ feeling she really won't ever get her idealized world and life, yeah, I was just completely taken aback, and I have to thank you for even having that nugget of gold happen. It's simply the notion that the cast doesn't know what the Games mean, the faith in Naya surviving the Games and being alive to continue the conversation sent goosebumps down my spine.

Alessio being from the Capitol is so cool, and with this year of the Games, unless I am mistaken, then that means he was born during the first Games... right? Okay, checking my math and going back to the reaping chapter, two years prior, but regardless, it is the most unique thing about your verse. No one knowing what the Games entail and it being the first year shown live just causes my stomach to churn, cause even the political families don't know what this means... man, just man! That little snippet Alessio has with the avox was incredible. I can't quite put my finger on it as to how and why it rocked me to the core, but it did, Miri, you simply are so talented and with your age, there's so much more room for you to grow in to, which is incredible! And man, it makes me wonder if I go back and reread Naya, Tremor, Caldwell, and Marquis's intros if they knew, if any of them knew, really, what it meant... I think Naya brought it up, but I can't recall either, cause wow, being a Career but not knowing what the Games were yourself, either? Shivers, once again. I almost got the feeling that Ava really loved telling the tributes what was about to happen. Can we get the name of the child who asked 'Dead how?' lol. What other way is there to be dead? What would've been even more gruesome, honestly, was if the kids didn't know this until launch... that would've been messed up. And content with Caldwell too, Miri you didn't! I am very curious if they'll end up being allies... Caldwell is going to want all the protection he can muster against Naya's wrath should he incur it.

I found myself the other day realizing I genuinely love Blade as a character. I didn't expect myself to, but I do. His nonverbal communication, just the general demeanor about him all screams badass. I do love that he has someone to communicate with, but I don't see why Blade can't go and get a translator, I feel like at this early stage with this being the 16th year there'd be someone given to him just so the chances are even keeled, as the odds being stacked isn't fun for anyone. And with Blade seeing the Careers acting their way they do - so they did know, okay, stamps my theory out dead, huh? - that's just so interesting to me. He's going to exact revenge, and it'll probably come as a shock to Marquis, Tremor, and Naya since honestly they probably expect one of the three of them to take the crown handedly... and he's underestimating Caldwell too, which hmm, could prove disastrous, maybe not. Regardless of the fact, I am very interested in Blade's story, and god I just love his name.

I, full stop, Miri, as I am doing a lot of reviews in a spree, must say, I love Mirabelle. She genuinely may be one of my favorite Capitolites I've seen in a story in a long time, and someone I am finding so compelling, my god how do you do it?!

This chapter was simply superb from beginning to end, and you should be extremely proud of yourself. Lemme give you my tribute chart, cause I haven't done that yet!

My Tributes: Naya Illumina (D4F), Caldwell Kingsen (D4M)
Rooting For: Callisto (D5M)
Love: Marquis (D1M), Columbia (D5F), Blade (D6M), Wren (D7F)
Like: Tremor (D2M), Asa (D9M), Luz (D9F), Jack (D10F), Alessio (D12M)
Neutral: Arcadia (D3F), Dria (D6NB), Buck (D10M)
Dislike: Felicia (D8F)
Loathe: N/A

Cast is as it stands! For some reason Callisto really compels to me, and I love tributes like Marquis, entertaining and hysterically funny. Columbia is another knockout, Blade is simply a badass, and Wren's nature was just so heartwarming. As for Felicia being all by her lonesome, I think she's just a bit one-note, but perhaps she'll find love and then want to survive, y'know?

As usual, you did such an incredible job. I am very proud of you, and cannot wait for next chapter. Keep up the great work!

~ Paradigm
5/16 c6 11rising-balloons
arcadia's backstory is sweet ngl. idk what i was expecting but it wasn't that and honestly? i loved it. yes gamer girl! you're gonna do great (i hope!) and wren is also a sweetie, ouch. she's such a nice normal kid that it really does hurt to see her get reaped. just a cute chatty teenager living life... aw man. anyways i loved both of these very nice kids and i'm looking forward to seeing more of them!
5/10 c13 2Very New To This
Great chapters!
5/10 c13 7QueenOfFunerals37
Great to see Chalet again! I like how sympathetic he is towards the tributes. I also love all the costumes in his POV. Luz and Asa look fantastic! Yay! I love how Naya requested a dead coral reef. That’s so in character! I also love how Alessio is just quietly hating everything about the parade.

I love learning a bit more about Caldwell. His parents seem very demanding. No wonder he puts so much pressure on himself to make his art perfect. He seems like a really insecure person hiding behind an arrogant facade. Volunteering to sabotage Naya was a really self-destructive decision and I hope Caldwell doesn’t end up regretting it. He’s a pretty tragic character.

Wren just seems so happy. The dramatic irony HURTS. I know her happiness is just going to get completely destroyed when she learns what the games are.

Colby seems to be having fun as well. I like the mention of her parents’ failed business and how they might have had shady connections. Her attitude towards Cal is getting more and more mean, though. Colby is interesting but not particularly likeable. I hope to see more of Cal’s side of the story.

Ooooh! That orientation dinner sounds ominous. Sounds like a bunch of tributes are going to get their parades rained on. Things look especially bad for the Fives, the Nines, Cady and Wren since they have no idea what the games actually are and I feel like it’ll be devastating news. But I’m also excited to see which tributes hear the news and just go “I have to kill everyone? Meh…” just because I think the contrast will be interesting. I’m so excited!
5/5 c12 2KatDog42
First of all, I'd like to say that I was really happy to see Felicia (my tribute). I think you introduced her perfectly and I'm excited to see how she develops! I'm also glad that there won't be any bloodbaths because, let's be honest, I don't think she would have survived it at this point.

I also really liked Marquis. He's one of the only Careers. I wonder if that will give him an advantage or not. Luz and Asa are so sweet! Every time one of them has a POV I get so sad! Great job! I'm so excited for the Pregames!
5/2 c12 7QueenOfFunerals37
I love Marquis. He seems so fun! I always love it when a tribute is a performer. Cabaret really suits him. He also seems to be the Careeriest tribute this games.

Awwwwww! Luz and Asa are so sweet! I’m crying already. I love how protective they are of each other. They are my favourites. I’m so sad they can’t both win.

I love all the tributes and I’m so excited for the pre-games chapters!
4/30 c11 QueenOfFunerals37
I like Tremor. It’s always interesting to see some Pro-Capitol tributes, especially in an early games like this one. I also think he definitely stands out as a potential ally for Alessio.

Felicia is interesting. She seems hyper-focused on good looks and finding a boyfriend but I get the feeling she might have hidden depths. Her mother doesn’t seem to be very responsible. I feel like she might be underestimated a lot.

I’m so excited for the last two tributes, Marquis and Luz if I remember correctly. They both seem really interesting!
4/29 c11 3SakuraDreamerz
ooooo, so Tremor not necessarily trained in the Career academy, but as a Peacekeeper OwO how interesting...I'm also curious how'd he and Antigone would react to Jack... OwO also Felicia! So shes going for the flirty and naive angle...I wonder how that would play out here
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