for A Labour of Lightning6/23 c1 Guest
You seem to be a decent writer, however, your dialogue is all over the place. I found myself confused many times on who was talking. Add dialogue tags to specify who was talking. Each paragraph must be composed of only one speaker. You can't have two characters talking in the same paragraph.
Shit gets confusing.
You seem to be a decent writer, however, your dialogue is all over the place. I found myself confused many times on who was talking. Add dialogue tags to specify who was talking. Each paragraph must be composed of only one speaker. You can't have two characters talking in the same paragraph.
Shit gets confusing.
6/25 c1 
1Monsterfox96
I kind of have to agree with the reviews why is it Konon instead of the character Konan if she is Konan and not this OC KonON then please switch the Konan tag with the appropriate one
1Monsterfox96I kind of have to agree with the reviews why is it Konon instead of the character Konan if she is Konan and not this OC KonON then please switch the Konan tag with the appropriate one
3/22 c1 Guest
What an amazing start! I hope you find it within yourself to continue this! Naruto x Konan is such a rare pairing and in my opinion had more potential than the canon pairings. I really hope to see more! Please and Thank you!
What an amazing start! I hope you find it within yourself to continue this! Naruto x Konan is such a rare pairing and in my opinion had more potential than the canon pairings. I really hope to see more! Please and Thank you!
1/30 c1 4DaDragon562
Holy shit, Konan gets sold off by Hanzou after Akatsuki dies early? What happened to nagato and yahiko? Man Jiraiya gonna be pissed at Naruto
4DaDragon562Holy shit, Konan gets sold off by Hanzou after Akatsuki dies early? What happened to nagato and yahiko? Man Jiraiya gonna be pissed at Naruto
1/29 c1 Guest
Nice start. Looking forward to see what you have planned.
Nice start. Looking forward to see what you have planned.