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for The Adventurous Gamer Ninja - Daichi Hekima

4/6 c222 1Nanase Elise
¿No tendría un mayor parecido a Indra?
4/2 c289 Guest
Eh, it's a little of both, maybe even arrogance of him remixing meta knowledge from before his reincarnation and you hyping it up so much. It's hard to write extreme mental states and make them believable without it coming across as a parody. Take General Hux from the last star wars tragedies, I mean trilogy...
4/2 c289 naruto
great chapter keep it up
4/2 c288 dastewie2012
Ughhh bro i get the suspense factor, but please dont do us like that
4/2 c289 11nexusplayer
God damn!
Just DAMN!
Daichi isn't holdign back a single bit!
BTW have you heard or read the systematic shinobi?
Crossover?
4/2 c289 SmiteGold
Hey there, I've been following this fic for quite a while and I'm liking it so far although there are certainly things you can do to improve it. The most glaring issue I've noticed is the characters. Instead of making Daichi smarter than the other characters, it feels like you are making the other characters dumber. Try to put more thought into what they say and how they react, especially when some of them are supposed to be the best of the best.

Daichi is very edgy. It is a line that can be crossed pretty easily when you're trying to make a character cool. He is also too perfect. It always feels like he is the smartest and wisest person even when talking with Hiruzen which isn't so much a Daichi problem but all other characters problem (and also it amplifies the edginess somewhat). The only character that felt like they were on equal footing with him was Katsuya Hinoō (which I really enjoyed). The last thing I don't like about Daichi is that he hasn't been defeated/failed so far. Losing is important for both character development and for the story itself. Daichi needs to lose at some point (sooner rather than later) so the stakes start feeling real.

The pacing of the story is very very slow. It's been almost 300 chapters and Daichi is still a genin (not gonna talk about how he can solo multiple anbu). It'd be better if you didn't write any more filler arcs (just remember the pain of watching filler and you'll understand us). I'm not saying to not have fun with the characters, just no more random missions that add nothing to the story.

Please don't take this review in a bad way. I see potential in this story and I tried my best to give constructive feedback. I hope you recovered with no lasting damage from the car accident and wish you return to a regular schedule whenever you can.
4/2 c289 1runelt99
WHERE IS YOUR OIL?
Confused mizuki: what, you mean animal fat used for cand-
Slap
WHERE IS IT
4/2 c289 RoyalTwinFangs
Very nice chapter here.
3/31 c288 naruto
great chapter keep it up
4/2 c289 TheRoyalDragoon
i had a feeling it would be water torture
4/2 c289 Nob7
dude I was just about to begin reading this fic and JUST when I started you uploded a chapter Lol
4/1 c288 Jacobgrey
Cant believe i binged this in 2 days its been so long since ive read a good naruto story especially an oc gamer good work fromt the beginning of reading this i can see the improvement in your writing skills and development as an author cant wait until the next chapter peace
3/31 c288 Krieger Techpreist
Ah yes, put someone in a room that can take you apart, and then put you back togethor, is the best interogation tactic! Just sk doctor gray from red vs blue.
3/31 c288 Leonelcito
I need moreeeeeeeeeeeeeEEeEeEEeEeEe
3/31 c288 desolate2024
Karma is coming!
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