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1/25/2023 c2 Kingred1994
Hello i hope you're doing well please keep writing is that what you like from a narusaku fan.
8/22/2022 c2 100Mrotrax
Just discovered this story and I must say; i think you’re doing a great job showing the brutality and trauma
While it may be slightly OOC, seeing Naruto destroy Gato is always cathartic and I love how the Rinnegan/Kurama seem to be corrupting/enabling him
I also think you’ve struck a nice balance for Sasuke’s thought process

Plus, NaruSaku was the very first ship I followed so that fills me with nostalgia.
Looking forward to more!
7/22/2022 c2 424kSakuya
Okay, I have some new things to comment on in this chapter now. As I have multiple extremely cringey NaruSaku content from when I first started. I see a lot of the mistakes I see there here.

First of, the stuttering, oh my god the stuttering. You got sentenced like this: This is only an example —But…I d —don’t know w —what you’re t —talking a —about!” And that is extremely unreadable for the readers.

Second, the long paragraphs of dialogue. Tell me why I’m reading something like this:

“You may know what I’m talking about, but if you don’t then you don’t, but if you know then you don’t, but if you don’t know then you do, but when you don’t know it’s a blank canvas for you blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

Was that readable to you? No? Exactly. What in the world.

Three. The extremely fast relationship building. Okay, now I’m going to say this, I’ve done this before, and it was extremely embarrassing for me to read back on. I understand that the backstories for the two may be different. But Sakura running to stop Naruto from killing himself isn’t and Naruto smooth talking Sakura till eventually kissing him is confusing and not realistic. Now even if Sakura in YOUR fanfic doesn’t have any romantic feelings for Sasuke, it’s still unrealistic for someone like Sakura to kiss Naruto because he’s a smooth talker.

Here are the things I liked about it.

The mood setting. Holy shit the mood setting is near godly I’m almost jealous. The last few paragraphs of Miracles are beautiful in how you elaborated on the surroundings of the sun rising, and the rain and how Kakashi described it as melancholy.

The way you describe things. Again, The writing is perfect. Chapter one didn’t even seem like it was made by someone who just wrote their first story in the way you described things.

Things you can work on.

Definitely dialogue, that’s a point where I feel you need help. The stuttering was unreadable and repetitive to the point where I just scrolled by, and it was the fact that there were PARAGRAPHS of writing where there was more dialogue than story.

Relationship building was too fast, it was a bit cliche how Sakura fell in love so quickly. But I can’t speak because one of my earlier stories was like that.

What you can do to fix it.

A beta reader most definitely. Maybe a trusted family member or you can find one on here, but there are very few or maybe no beta readers left for the Naruto category. I’m planning on setting one up shortly and if you need help when I finish, you can check out my profile.
7/13/2022 c2 1Gogos14
Good to see that Sasuke didn't actually die! Some people might think it took away the gravity of his death, but i think it's worth saving such a big character. I think it could be interesting if Sasuke slowly falls to his jealousy when he sees the dead last of his class suddenly surpass with his doujutsu, something Sasuke takes pride in. It would be a good way to drive him to a role of an antagonist if needed, and i think at this point, only someone like Sasuke as a villain would manage to give Naruto a run for his money, as he is pretty OP now. I'm a bit perplexed as to the pacing of the story so far tho. It was a little weird to see Sakura's reaction to Naruto. I'm guessing Naruto has a different character when compared to the canon version, because he talks way too smoothly compared to how Naruto actually talks. Also, why is Sakura so shocked that he thinks she's beautiful and wonderful? Hasn't he been openly pursuing her for a long time? It looks like the past might be a little different too compared to canon, and maybe we can see flashbacks in future chapters to see those differences.
7/13/2022 c1 Gogos14
Woww definitely an interesting start to the story. The way he gets his rinnegan is unique, and i'm curious to see the implications these differences will have in the overall story. Great fighting scenes, and good to see their emotions explored in conjunction with the plot. Naruto seems really dark and a little cruel? heartless? compared to canon, so I'm also interested in seeing how he'll be in this story
7/6/2022 c2 Mahammodz
Dear author, i love the way you write you are able to set the mood well, also are amazing at writing fighting scenes in chapter 1 so please continue with your amazing work
6/6/2022 c2 Walid Attia1
update pleaaasssseee
6/5/2022 c2 Guest
Outstanding story I look forward to seeing how you decide to develop it more as well as the relationship between characters.
5/14/2022 c2 TeraelinII
that... was BLOODY AWESOME please update soon I can't wait to read more
5/5/2022 c2 ChaosChap64
My only question, why is it only in one eye?
5/2/2022 c2 Guest
Sakura should definitely keep the promise she made to Naruto and not break it also spend way more time with him then she usually does and actually try to really get to know him better and actually lose that fan girl crush she had on sauske and actually start training so she can grow stronger and be a better ninja she definitely has alot of potential to be a powerful ninja if she wasn't always fan Girling sauske 24/7 I just want these two to actually be happy together as a couple and as for sauske have him actually stay loyal to Naruto kakashi Sakura and the leaf village instead of batrying the leaf like in the anime or seen in so many stories I Read I like to see him actually be little nicer and actually be little more open and honest as well not go to orchimaru this time around it be great seeing team 7 grow stronger together as a team and let there bond and friendship grow stronger and not actually break up this time around for a possible paring for sauske have it be kairen(the girl who's related to narutos family and actually has a real crush on sauske)
5/2/2022 c2 Guest
Nature bring Assume back, was totally awesome. I cant wait until the next chapter comes out.
5/1/2022 c2 Beastyd22
Awesome chapter man keep it up and update again soon as you possibly can thanks.
5/1/2022 c1 1Naruto Uchiha Lucifer
Don't put two characters dialogues in one paragraph
5/1/2022 c1 Eminated
I’m pretty sure kakashi should have no idea what the rinnegan is. I imagine the sannin and most likely the sandaime are the only people who have any idea. Let alone the rinne sharingan
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