10/8/2022 c1 1VincentFS
Nice of you to tell and not show how the Wizarding World reacted to Harry’s accomplishments.
Nice of you to tell and not show how the Wizarding World reacted to Harry’s accomplishments.
10/8/2022 c100 HughJasz
It's good to see you've completed another story. I greatly admire your dedication to your writing.
Most of this review is for me to give my admittedly harsh take on things in hopes for you to potentially take lessons learned for whatever you write next.
I honestly stopped reading around chapter 70 or so considering I honestly didn't like how either Harry nor Marlene were turning out. While I really adore "A Cadmean Victory", I honestly believe whatever outline you were working from took way too much inspiration from it as there was a lot of seemingly unwarranted and forced angst throughout the story.
You began with the premise of a Mature, Powerful, and Experienced version of Harry, which he was to some degree. He did a lot of amazing things, and yet there were many times were Harry seemed incapable of making any proactive action of preventing all the completely unnecessary tragedy that happened through this story with much of Harry's friends and family ultimately suffering due to his inaction. A few failures to learn along the way is fine, great even, but I myself and likely many others felt like he was often making the same sorts of mistakes all the time in his lack of preparation, communication, and methods used to stop Voldemort and it got very frustrating.
The romance with Marlene was awesome! As an enjoyer of fluff, I can say I never disliked the many one on one moments between Harry and her. However, I would also generally agree with a few other reviewers that it seemingly infected much of Harry's time in story, which could be attributed as preventing him from really taking any necessary actions of stopping Voldemort as well. Even when she was helping, most of the early encounters with Voldemort ultimately ended in Harry's failure seemingly due to his over protective attitude of Marlene.
Often when Voldy threatened Marlene, Harry would seemingly retort with the most simplistic of protagonist responses such as "I won't let you hurt her". Since he never really did anything in those fights either it often left the reader to perceive him as powerless despite all his supposed training and preparations.
Overall, I have to say I was disappointed with the late-stage evolution of this story due to everything above. That being said, I believe you have excellent potential as a writer since I very much enjoyed the early development and the small character moments between Harry and Marlene a lot. I hope you'll take lessons from the criticisms given and make the choice to find ways to improve your future works through lessons learned.
Have a good one, and I wish you luck with your future stories.
It's good to see you've completed another story. I greatly admire your dedication to your writing.
Most of this review is for me to give my admittedly harsh take on things in hopes for you to potentially take lessons learned for whatever you write next.
I honestly stopped reading around chapter 70 or so considering I honestly didn't like how either Harry nor Marlene were turning out. While I really adore "A Cadmean Victory", I honestly believe whatever outline you were working from took way too much inspiration from it as there was a lot of seemingly unwarranted and forced angst throughout the story.
You began with the premise of a Mature, Powerful, and Experienced version of Harry, which he was to some degree. He did a lot of amazing things, and yet there were many times were Harry seemed incapable of making any proactive action of preventing all the completely unnecessary tragedy that happened through this story with much of Harry's friends and family ultimately suffering due to his inaction. A few failures to learn along the way is fine, great even, but I myself and likely many others felt like he was often making the same sorts of mistakes all the time in his lack of preparation, communication, and methods used to stop Voldemort and it got very frustrating.
The romance with Marlene was awesome! As an enjoyer of fluff, I can say I never disliked the many one on one moments between Harry and her. However, I would also generally agree with a few other reviewers that it seemingly infected much of Harry's time in story, which could be attributed as preventing him from really taking any necessary actions of stopping Voldemort as well. Even when she was helping, most of the early encounters with Voldemort ultimately ended in Harry's failure seemingly due to his over protective attitude of Marlene.
Often when Voldy threatened Marlene, Harry would seemingly retort with the most simplistic of protagonist responses such as "I won't let you hurt her". Since he never really did anything in those fights either it often left the reader to perceive him as powerless despite all his supposed training and preparations.
Overall, I have to say I was disappointed with the late-stage evolution of this story due to everything above. That being said, I believe you have excellent potential as a writer since I very much enjoyed the early development and the small character moments between Harry and Marlene a lot. I hope you'll take lessons from the criticisms given and make the choice to find ways to improve your future works through lessons learned.
Have a good one, and I wish you luck with your future stories.
10/8/2022 c1 SomeGuyFawkes
I really liked how this story started out: the premise, the initial Harry.
Harry became somewhat unlikable and Marlene turned into an arrogant twat.
So I stopped enjoying the story and got annoyed by some details (and also lack thereof) - Sorry I stopped taking notes.
Overall, it was still more entertaining than not; Worth a read. Thanks for posting.
I really liked how this story started out: the premise, the initial Harry.
Harry became somewhat unlikable and Marlene turned into an arrogant twat.
So I stopped enjoying the story and got annoyed by some details (and also lack thereof) - Sorry I stopped taking notes.
Overall, it was still more entertaining than not; Worth a read. Thanks for posting.
10/8/2022 c100 Gaarmstrong318
Going to be honest you really screwed the story in the end. One thing I really hated at the end was how you constantly had to make Voldemort worse and worse to simply drag it out.
You really spoiled it
Going to be honest you really screwed the story in the end. One thing I really hated at the end was how you constantly had to make Voldemort worse and worse to simply drag it out.
You really spoiled it
10/8/2022 c100 2AvidReader2425
It was definitely one hell of a journey, I appreciate all the work you put into the story
It was definitely one hell of a journey, I appreciate all the work you put into the story
10/8/2022 c99 AvidReader2425
Even though I really don’t like what Harry became, and I felt like Voldemort kept upping the ante in regards to power just to match Harry and his growth, I do appreciate all the work you put into the story, and overall I liked it
Even though I really don’t like what Harry became, and I felt like Voldemort kept upping the ante in regards to power just to match Harry and his growth, I do appreciate all the work you put into the story, and overall I liked it
10/8/2022 c99 6AJ Granger
Wow. I worried he had died. Wasn't expecting it to be a year later, but I like that he had a son and that Dobby and Marlene are raising him. I'm glad he didn't need someone to bring him back. Curious about the next chapter if it's a type of epilogue.
Wow. I worried he had died. Wasn't expecting it to be a year later, but I like that he had a son and that Dobby and Marlene are raising him. I'm glad he didn't need someone to bring him back. Curious about the next chapter if it's a type of epilogue.
10/8/2022 c99 ApprehensiveDuck
What. The. Hell? Where is chapter 98.5 that has what happened post battle and the YEAR that followed. This story has been amazing, ahh-maz-ing, up to this point and... and you just avada'd 8 months of work with this ending. You just gave up? Come on, do yourself and the story justice and rewrite the ending.
What. The. Hell? Where is chapter 98.5 that has what happened post battle and the YEAR that followed. This story has been amazing, ahh-maz-ing, up to this point and... and you just avada'd 8 months of work with this ending. You just gave up? Come on, do yourself and the story justice and rewrite the ending.
10/8/2022 c94 AvidReader2425
Honestly, I’m not over fond of this version of Harry Potter, thanks for the chapter though
Honestly, I’m not over fond of this version of Harry Potter, thanks for the chapter though