for Deku-Sensei3/28/2022 c16 
42Altairadactyl
I think you misspelled shrine like, fifteen separate times in this chapter.
42AltairadactylI think you misspelled shrine like, fifteen separate times in this chapter.
3/28/2022 c30 Blazing Titan
This is a great story but a beta would boost the reception from other people exponentially. I still love it. Please keep up the awesome work
This is a great story but a beta would boost the reception from other people exponentially. I still love it. Please keep up the awesome work
3/28/2022 c9 Altairadactyl
Oof. Round the yen amounts. You very clearly ran a specific local amount through a currency converter and assumed a Japanese person would operate on your culture’s arbitrary amounts. 15000¥ or 5000¥ is much more believable, especially because smaller denominations only come in coins.
Oof. Round the yen amounts. You very clearly ran a specific local amount through a currency converter and assumed a Japanese person would operate on your culture’s arbitrary amounts. 15000¥ or 5000¥ is much more believable, especially because smaller denominations only come in coins.
3/28/2022 c2 Altairadactyl
It’s not bad but the underlying structure probably contributes to your lower hit and review rates. There’s some basic stuff like you combining two characters’ dialogue in a single paragraph, which is a faux pas. There’s a few seemingly random capitalized words that shouldn’t be. Also, you have a heavy reliance on parentheses, bold, and italic text which is quite honestly unnecessary. Our brains add inflection based on the mood you’re conveying. You also don’t utilize them consistently, meaning apart from “there’s emphasis here” I have no idea what you’re actually trying to convey with bold text versus italic text because there’s no discernible pattern apart from you having too much fun with rich text formatting.
It’s not bad but the underlying structure probably contributes to your lower hit and review rates. There’s some basic stuff like you combining two characters’ dialogue in a single paragraph, which is a faux pas. There’s a few seemingly random capitalized words that shouldn’t be. Also, you have a heavy reliance on parentheses, bold, and italic text which is quite honestly unnecessary. Our brains add inflection based on the mood you’re conveying. You also don’t utilize them consistently, meaning apart from “there’s emphasis here” I have no idea what you’re actually trying to convey with bold text versus italic text because there’s no discernible pattern apart from you having too much fun with rich text formatting.
3/28/2022 c30 65AngelFallenDemon
nice and I have a feeling that mic might have gotten in the way when awiaza had something else to add.
65AngelFallenDemonnice and I have a feeling that mic might have gotten in the way when awiaza had something else to add.
3/28/2022 c30 Seimika
You know if izu makes a few more complexs he could have rooftop community gardens to help feed some of the poorer families, and or have solar panels equipped to have less utilities needing to be billed...and make sure everything has good insurance cause if a hero wrecks his shit well be the perfect moment to not only show he owns said buildings, he has insurance and he's going to sue said hero for being a dick
You know if izu makes a few more complexs he could have rooftop community gardens to help feed some of the poorer families, and or have solar panels equipped to have less utilities needing to be billed...and make sure everything has good insurance cause if a hero wrecks his shit well be the perfect moment to not only show he owns said buildings, he has insurance and he's going to sue said hero for being a dick
3/28/2022 c30 heartfanglives
Haha, I love the misunderstanding but am really worried for his future since he has to work at UA eventually
Haha, I love the misunderstanding but am really worried for his future since he has to work at UA eventually
3/27/2022 c1 SimpleEdBoi
this story has potential but please consider getting a beta. putting 3 words each sentence in italics makes no sense when some of them shouldn't be emphasized
this story has potential but please consider getting a beta. putting 3 words each sentence in italics makes no sense when some of them shouldn't be emphasized
3/27/2022 c1 SimpleEdBoi
idk why you emphasize every 5 words but I'd recommend not doing that. it kind of takes away from the, you know, emphasis
idk why you emphasize every 5 words but I'd recommend not doing that. it kind of takes away from the, you know, emphasis
3/12/2022 c13 Michael Morningstar
Hey I'm just starting chapter 13 and I thought you'd like to know that while not as large a big portion of the Japanese population is some form of Christian so if you wanted or found that easier in the future you could just use that for any religious reasons in your stories
Hey I'm just starting chapter 13 and I thought you'd like to know that while not as large a big portion of the Japanese population is some form of Christian so if you wanted or found that easier in the future you could just use that for any religious reasons in your stories
3/11/2022 c12 4The Cocoa Puffer
I believe the link at the top of this chapter (12) needed spaces in the link so it would still appear as of right now it is just a blank space.
4The Cocoa PufferI believe the link at the top of this chapter (12) needed spaces in the link so it would still appear as of right now it is just a blank space.