for Against All Odds9/1 c10 AverageElden
rally love the story but whens the next update?
rally love the story but whens the next update?
5/26 c10 Guest
This is such a fun read, hope the author continues it.
This is such a fun read, hope the author continues it.
4/19 c1 SleepingValley
ace980 subject yourself to an experience multiple times and it starts to become numb I have more scars on my body than I can count and the fear of getting pretty much disappeared at this point I know that if I were to become immortal I would lose the fear of death as well plus there are things worse than death like losing your memories or becoming the people you hate.
ace980 subject yourself to an experience multiple times and it starts to become numb I have more scars on my body than I can count and the fear of getting pretty much disappeared at this point I know that if I were to become immortal I would lose the fear of death as well plus there are things worse than death like losing your memories or becoming the people you hate.
3/20 c4 Ace980
I find it odd him to think in the first place that this isn't real?
Like, He died, Death is painful, why would he lose any fear of death because he died? What about fear of pain? Hell, I'm more afraid of how viscerally painful death can be or mortifying to experience death is rather then the end itself, So why would motivation be a problem with how he learns to fight? It seems odd to hold any belief that the world he is in is an illusion even in part just because...He heard a word that happened to be the title of a video game?
Why would fighting for Melina suddenly make him better at fighting? Was he not already fighting to avoid the pain of death or mutilation? Does he somehow love Melina more then his family or friends back home? Was he not already trying to apply his knowledge? If they saw how he was messing up with fighting, wouldn't it have been easier to explain "Your fighting like your going through the motions and not applying what you've learned when you should, firm up your stance, remain calm, keep your mind on the fight and not your emotions".
As much as I like idea of doing better one it's someone else that'll suffer the consequences, I do not believe it makes sense in this instance
TL;DR: I do not think the problem should have existed in the first place and felt the solution chosen was a poor one
Sorry if this comes across as harsh, I was trying to articulate my problem with it and it may have come across as a rant even if I view the problem as minor
I find it odd him to think in the first place that this isn't real?
Like, He died, Death is painful, why would he lose any fear of death because he died? What about fear of pain? Hell, I'm more afraid of how viscerally painful death can be or mortifying to experience death is rather then the end itself, So why would motivation be a problem with how he learns to fight? It seems odd to hold any belief that the world he is in is an illusion even in part just because...He heard a word that happened to be the title of a video game?
Why would fighting for Melina suddenly make him better at fighting? Was he not already fighting to avoid the pain of death or mutilation? Does he somehow love Melina more then his family or friends back home? Was he not already trying to apply his knowledge? If they saw how he was messing up with fighting, wouldn't it have been easier to explain "Your fighting like your going through the motions and not applying what you've learned when you should, firm up your stance, remain calm, keep your mind on the fight and not your emotions".
As much as I like idea of doing better one it's someone else that'll suffer the consequences, I do not believe it makes sense in this instance
TL;DR: I do not think the problem should have existed in the first place and felt the solution chosen was a poor one
Sorry if this comes across as harsh, I was trying to articulate my problem with it and it may have come across as a rant even if I view the problem as minor
1/26 c5 AvidReader
While I don’t agree at all with the review about this story being dreadfully mid and the romance feeling forced. But I do agree with most of his criticisms. I feel like romance needs a bit more set up, give them more interaction, give them more bonding moments. Have Nathanial talk about America more to Melina.
Also to add tension to the story, I would make it so that those who have the Rune of Death such as Black Knife Assassins and Maliketh or Godskin Apostles can make the grace within Nathaniel disappear. So basically, they can kill Nathenial regardless of his immortality, to add tension to the story.
Also Nathanial, I feel like he needs to be fleshed out more. I suggest you read the fanfiction Fortune's Disfavored, if you are interested. Because the main protagonist of the story is slowly getting accustomed to the world. He found it difficult to fit in at first but as time goes on he begins to understand the world much better.
If you are ever going to rewrite the previous chapter. I would suggest that you should flesh out the conversation about Nathaniel and Melina. You should have Nathanial ask Melina about her childhood. Maybe Melina would tell him or act distant about it due to it being traumatic.
I would suggest that you have Melina be the one to suggest the plan of being kidnapped to test Nathaniel instead of Roderika. It is scummy to do but I feel like it would be in character for Melina to do something like this.
Also, I would have Nathenial be aware that Melina is using him as a means to an end. That Melina doesn’t hide it and tells him that their goals align.
If not, then I would suggest that Varre or Gideon (I would say Varre makes the most sense) should tell Nathaniel that Melina is using him to further her goals. At first, Nathaniel doesn’t accept it at first but more he begins to distrust Melina and then have him confront her about it. Then she reveals more to him.
But this is just my opinion, you don’t have to agree to it. I am enjoying this story currently. Can it be better? Most definitively. So I am excited to see more.
While I don’t agree at all with the review about this story being dreadfully mid and the romance feeling forced. But I do agree with most of his criticisms. I feel like romance needs a bit more set up, give them more interaction, give them more bonding moments. Have Nathanial talk about America more to Melina.
Also to add tension to the story, I would make it so that those who have the Rune of Death such as Black Knife Assassins and Maliketh or Godskin Apostles can make the grace within Nathaniel disappear. So basically, they can kill Nathenial regardless of his immortality, to add tension to the story.
Also Nathanial, I feel like he needs to be fleshed out more. I suggest you read the fanfiction Fortune's Disfavored, if you are interested. Because the main protagonist of the story is slowly getting accustomed to the world. He found it difficult to fit in at first but as time goes on he begins to understand the world much better.
If you are ever going to rewrite the previous chapter. I would suggest that you should flesh out the conversation about Nathaniel and Melina. You should have Nathanial ask Melina about her childhood. Maybe Melina would tell him or act distant about it due to it being traumatic.
I would suggest that you have Melina be the one to suggest the plan of being kidnapped to test Nathaniel instead of Roderika. It is scummy to do but I feel like it would be in character for Melina to do something like this.
Also, I would have Nathenial be aware that Melina is using him as a means to an end. That Melina doesn’t hide it and tells him that their goals align.
If not, then I would suggest that Varre or Gideon (I would say Varre makes the most sense) should tell Nathaniel that Melina is using him to further her goals. At first, Nathaniel doesn’t accept it at first but more he begins to distrust Melina and then have him confront her about it. Then she reveals more to him.
But this is just my opinion, you don’t have to agree to it. I am enjoying this story currently. Can it be better? Most definitively. So I am excited to see more.
1/28 c1 AvidReader343
While I don’t agree at all with the review about this story being dreadfully mid and the romance feeling forced. But I do agree with most of his criticisms. I feel like romance needs a bit more set up, give them more interaction, give them more bonding moments. Have Nathanial talk about America more to Melina.
Also to add tension to the story, I would make it so that those who have the Rune of Death such as Black Knife Assassins and Maliketh or Godskin Apostles can make the grace within Nathaniel disappear. So basically, they can kill Nathenial regardless of his immortality, to add tension to the story.
Also Nathanial, I feel like he needs to be fleshed out more. I suggest you read the fanfiction Fortune's Disfavored, if you are interested. Because the main protagonist of the story is slowly getting accustomed to the world. He found it difficult to fit in at first but as time goes on he begins to understand the world much better.
If you are ever going to rewrite the previous chapter. I would suggest that you should flesh out the conversation about Nathaniel and Melina. You should have Nathanial ask Melina about her childhood. Maybe Melina would tell him or act distant about it due to it being traumatic.
I would suggest that you have Melina be the one to suggest the plan of being kidnapped to test Nathaniel instead of Roderika. It is scummy to do but I feel like it would be in character for Melina to do something like this.
Also, I would have Nathenial be aware that Melina is using him as a means to an end. That Melina doesn’t hide it and tells him that their goals align.
If not, then I would suggest that Varre or Gideon (I would say Varre makes the most sense) should tell Nathaniel that Melina is using him to further her goals. At first, Nathaniel doesn’t accept it at first but more he begins to distrust Melina and then have him confront her about it. Then she reveals more to him.
But this is just my opinion, you don’t have to agree to it. I am enjoying this story currently. Can it be better? Most definitively. So I am excited to see more.
While I don’t agree at all with the review about this story being dreadfully mid and the romance feeling forced. But I do agree with most of his criticisms. I feel like romance needs a bit more set up, give them more interaction, give them more bonding moments. Have Nathanial talk about America more to Melina.
Also to add tension to the story, I would make it so that those who have the Rune of Death such as Black Knife Assassins and Maliketh or Godskin Apostles can make the grace within Nathaniel disappear. So basically, they can kill Nathenial regardless of his immortality, to add tension to the story.
Also Nathanial, I feel like he needs to be fleshed out more. I suggest you read the fanfiction Fortune's Disfavored, if you are interested. Because the main protagonist of the story is slowly getting accustomed to the world. He found it difficult to fit in at first but as time goes on he begins to understand the world much better.
If you are ever going to rewrite the previous chapter. I would suggest that you should flesh out the conversation about Nathaniel and Melina. You should have Nathanial ask Melina about her childhood. Maybe Melina would tell him or act distant about it due to it being traumatic.
I would suggest that you have Melina be the one to suggest the plan of being kidnapped to test Nathaniel instead of Roderika. It is scummy to do but I feel like it would be in character for Melina to do something like this.
Also, I would have Nathenial be aware that Melina is using him as a means to an end. That Melina doesn’t hide it and tells him that their goals align.
If not, then I would suggest that Varre or Gideon (I would say Varre makes the most sense) should tell Nathaniel that Melina is using him to further her goals. At first, Nathaniel doesn’t accept it at first but more he begins to distrust Melina and then have him confront her about it. Then she reveals more to him.
But this is just my opinion, you don’t have to agree to it. I am enjoying this story currently. Can it be better? Most definitively. So I am excited to see more.
11/30/2022 c10 Rainsfere
10 chapters in and I'm on the fence with this. This story isn't bad but it isn't good either. It's dreadfully mid. I have several issues with this story and I suppose I'll start with the obvious: Nathaniel can't die.
So far Nathaniel has "died" several times and has always come back. I understand if you are trying to work with how the game does things but this does not help you here. If he can't die then you kill whatever tension you could build up because no matter how many times he dies Nathaniel can just come back. It's no longer a life or death situation but a process of trial and error. It becomes a game and thus robs the story of tension. That being said, what does he really have to be afraid of if he knows he can come back each time? What's the point of death if it becomes so trivial? How can it be "Against All Odds" if the greatest obstacle is a non factor?
I'm not fond of how the romance is being built up. It doesn't feel organic to me and it's moving far too fast. There have been several chapters now teasing at Melina's growing feelings for Nathaniel but it feels so forced. It feels like you're trying to speed up the process when you should be trying to slow it down or just leave it alone for a while. We already know they are going to hook up, you don't have to beat us over the head with it to remind us. The most glaring problem though is why would she care so much for him in the first place? She has helped him in several ways but that's to further her goal and his, it was not done out of the kindness of her heart. The two also haven't had any real bonding moments at all. You could argue that Nathaniel trying to save her in one of the earlier chapters was critical but I disagree. Not only was it setup to a point but she already knew how fearful and helpless he felt without her. He clings to her like a lifeline and she should know that. From what I remember, she expressed interest in Earth and he shared some of what he knew about that but most of that conversation was skipped over. I would revisit these conversations from time to time as they might find more common ground between the two but I would not skip over them. Actually let these two have a conversation and see what happens. Do they agree on ethics? Do they share similar philosophies? What would she think of America not being ruled by a king? There are many topics they could talk about and that will allow the two to connect with each other better as opposed as just trying to survive in a cruel world. Because right now, they know little about each other. Why fall for a person who's strongest reason for teaming up in the first place is a quid pro quo situation?
This all feeds into my next issue. Nathaniel himself. He has no depth at all. His background is boring and uninspired. What were his dreams or goals? Why did he never pursue them and just stayed inside? None of this has been explored or if it has, it has been glossed over. He doesn't feel like a person right now, he feels like a character archetype or even a trope character. What I mean by this is that you can find Nathaniel in hundreds of other stories on this site. Doesn't believe in himself, didn't pursue his goals prior to being sent to another world, fearful and weak, no real life experience, is reckless and foolhardy when he wants to prove himself as opposed to using his head, and pushes forward because he doesn't want to let the one person down who does believe in him. If you have been reading a lot of fanfic then all of this should sound familiar. In short, he doesn't feel like Nathaniel. He just feels like another dime a dozen character.
All of this being said, I'm still holding out hope that this story can be good. I gave this story a shot because I wanted to read a story with a OC with no knowledge of Elden Ring trying to survive in it. This certainly has that and despite my issues and worries this story is still just young enough to turn it around. That's all I got to say, happy writing to you.
10 chapters in and I'm on the fence with this. This story isn't bad but it isn't good either. It's dreadfully mid. I have several issues with this story and I suppose I'll start with the obvious: Nathaniel can't die.
So far Nathaniel has "died" several times and has always come back. I understand if you are trying to work with how the game does things but this does not help you here. If he can't die then you kill whatever tension you could build up because no matter how many times he dies Nathaniel can just come back. It's no longer a life or death situation but a process of trial and error. It becomes a game and thus robs the story of tension. That being said, what does he really have to be afraid of if he knows he can come back each time? What's the point of death if it becomes so trivial? How can it be "Against All Odds" if the greatest obstacle is a non factor?
I'm not fond of how the romance is being built up. It doesn't feel organic to me and it's moving far too fast. There have been several chapters now teasing at Melina's growing feelings for Nathaniel but it feels so forced. It feels like you're trying to speed up the process when you should be trying to slow it down or just leave it alone for a while. We already know they are going to hook up, you don't have to beat us over the head with it to remind us. The most glaring problem though is why would she care so much for him in the first place? She has helped him in several ways but that's to further her goal and his, it was not done out of the kindness of her heart. The two also haven't had any real bonding moments at all. You could argue that Nathaniel trying to save her in one of the earlier chapters was critical but I disagree. Not only was it setup to a point but she already knew how fearful and helpless he felt without her. He clings to her like a lifeline and she should know that. From what I remember, she expressed interest in Earth and he shared some of what he knew about that but most of that conversation was skipped over. I would revisit these conversations from time to time as they might find more common ground between the two but I would not skip over them. Actually let these two have a conversation and see what happens. Do they agree on ethics? Do they share similar philosophies? What would she think of America not being ruled by a king? There are many topics they could talk about and that will allow the two to connect with each other better as opposed as just trying to survive in a cruel world. Because right now, they know little about each other. Why fall for a person who's strongest reason for teaming up in the first place is a quid pro quo situation?
This all feeds into my next issue. Nathaniel himself. He has no depth at all. His background is boring and uninspired. What were his dreams or goals? Why did he never pursue them and just stayed inside? None of this has been explored or if it has, it has been glossed over. He doesn't feel like a person right now, he feels like a character archetype or even a trope character. What I mean by this is that you can find Nathaniel in hundreds of other stories on this site. Doesn't believe in himself, didn't pursue his goals prior to being sent to another world, fearful and weak, no real life experience, is reckless and foolhardy when he wants to prove himself as opposed to using his head, and pushes forward because he doesn't want to let the one person down who does believe in him. If you have been reading a lot of fanfic then all of this should sound familiar. In short, he doesn't feel like Nathaniel. He just feels like another dime a dozen character.
All of this being said, I'm still holding out hope that this story can be good. I gave this story a shot because I wanted to read a story with a OC with no knowledge of Elden Ring trying to survive in it. This certainly has that and despite my issues and worries this story is still just young enough to turn it around. That's all I got to say, happy writing to you.
11/29/2022 c5 Server lock
Nathanial makes a joke, and Melina takes it seriously saying some unnecessary stuff to her partner about annulling the contract when he's trying to get home. She straight up just validated his previous stated fears about being abandoned for being useless. Zero loyalty or care about dropping the one Torrent picked out, makes her about as lovely as the people he just met.
Saying she cared about him first to the girl he comforted is some compium she just showed him some self interested concern. She ain't helping you out in battle bruh she's only giving you power to fulfill her desires... oh she pulled him away from danger finally her first sign of care, no wait she doesn't know why she did it.
Nathanial makes a joke, and Melina takes it seriously saying some unnecessary stuff to her partner about annulling the contract when he's trying to get home. She straight up just validated his previous stated fears about being abandoned for being useless. Zero loyalty or care about dropping the one Torrent picked out, makes her about as lovely as the people he just met.
Saying she cared about him first to the girl he comforted is some compium she just showed him some self interested concern. She ain't helping you out in battle bruh she's only giving you power to fulfill her desires... oh she pulled him away from danger finally her first sign of care, no wait she doesn't know why she did it.
11/14/2022 c10 BigChungusEnjoyer44
Another phenomenal chapter! Enjoyed Roderick being able to finally stand up and fight (thanks to some help from Nepheli)
Thanks for the update!
Another phenomenal chapter! Enjoyed Roderick being able to finally stand up and fight (thanks to some help from Nepheli)
Thanks for the update!
11/9/2022 c10 
1galloran hellfire
very well done, its not often that i comment but i feel i had to.
this story has some good execution and better writing and flow than most fics ive seen, so its amazing to see the quality and hard work you put in, thank you for your effort and i hope to see more
1galloran hellfirevery well done, its not often that i comment but i feel i had to.
this story has some good execution and better writing and flow than most fics ive seen, so its amazing to see the quality and hard work you put in, thank you for your effort and i hope to see more