for The Unexpected Change2/3/2023 c1 wave.emma
Hi SavKelly! I'm a talent scout from another novel app and we are currently looking for writers to join us! Please reach me on IG editorwn . emma or PM me for more info, thanks! :)
Hi SavKelly! I'm a talent scout from another novel app and we are currently looking for writers to join us! Please reach me on IG editorwn . emma or PM me for more info, thanks! :)
9/22/2022 c1 
7jh831
If you do decide to change your mind and do continue, please let me know.
I hope you don’t have Edward and Bella as mates. She showed no signs of a mating bond when she woke up.
Hope you have Bella get to choose between animal and human blood, and pick human blood. It doesn’t sound like the culled will give her a choice.
7jh831If you do decide to change your mind and do continue, please let me know.
I hope you don’t have Edward and Bella as mates. She showed no signs of a mating bond when she woke up.
Hope you have Bella get to choose between animal and human blood, and pick human blood. It doesn’t sound like the culled will give her a choice.
5/10/2022 c1 Guest
Lol! Loved this! And when Edward was foolish enough to let Bella get her arms around him- well, serves him right! Jasper once warned them in canon never let a newborn get their arms around you because they'll crush you. Loved your fiery Bella! She is not going to make this easy on Edward or the Cullens; but I doubt that will phase Carlisle or Esme. Somehow I doubt that Rosalie's newborn years were a walk in the park. And Emmett has admitted that he was a challenge. And wow! Carlisle wasn't kidding when he told Jasper it would be a few days before they could risk moving Bella to a safer, more remote location if she can down half a dozen cups of blood and still desperately need more a few minutes later. How are they supposed to keep her from trying to run back to Forks, to her father? Although, maybe by then she'll have enough self-control with Jasper's help to realize that she can't be near humans. Maybe if she catches sight of Charlie before she leaves- catches his scent- and realizes she now views him as food rather than her father that will sober her up. No, she needs a stronger family now to keep her safe and keep her from harming anyone. How'd Edward convince them not to kill Bella when he showed up with her after the attack? Although Carlisle would never agree to kill her for something that wasn't Bella's fault. And now he has 6 teenagers to care for. Yikes!
Freaking super tale; so sorry it's a one off, but glad you posted. Thanks!
Lol! Loved this! And when Edward was foolish enough to let Bella get her arms around him- well, serves him right! Jasper once warned them in canon never let a newborn get their arms around you because they'll crush you. Loved your fiery Bella! She is not going to make this easy on Edward or the Cullens; but I doubt that will phase Carlisle or Esme. Somehow I doubt that Rosalie's newborn years were a walk in the park. And Emmett has admitted that he was a challenge. And wow! Carlisle wasn't kidding when he told Jasper it would be a few days before they could risk moving Bella to a safer, more remote location if she can down half a dozen cups of blood and still desperately need more a few minutes later. How are they supposed to keep her from trying to run back to Forks, to her father? Although, maybe by then she'll have enough self-control with Jasper's help to realize that she can't be near humans. Maybe if she catches sight of Charlie before she leaves- catches his scent- and realizes she now views him as food rather than her father that will sober her up. No, she needs a stronger family now to keep her safe and keep her from harming anyone. How'd Edward convince them not to kill Bella when he showed up with her after the attack? Although Carlisle would never agree to kill her for something that wasn't Bella's fault. And now he has 6 teenagers to care for. Yikes!
Freaking super tale; so sorry it's a one off, but glad you posted. Thanks!
4/26/2022 c1 5Nampayo
I wish you would continue this, as it would make an amazing story. But I understand if you wish to keep it a one shot
5NampayoI wish you would continue this, as it would make an amazing story. But I understand if you wish to keep it a one shot
4/19/2022 c1 ChiNeYr
When Bella was changing, that blackness she described that crushed everything, all sound and pain and movement and her SELF... was that death trying to drag her under? She was having flashbacks of her life when this happened; sort of like what is described by some people when they die. But then the fire would return and the burning with it. Did the venom keep pulling her back into her body? Does anyone whose bitten ever not survive the change? I'd bet more than one of them (Jasper, Rose, and probably Emmett, didn't just kill her when Edward brought her back to the house screaming? Can you imagine? It's after school, another boring and ordinary day spent playing human in Forks, when Edward shows up, red eyed and frantic and carrying the screaming daughter of the Chief of Police, and all hell breaks loose. There goes their comfortable position within Forks. There goes Carlisle's job. Now they have to pack up and prepare to disappear, but with a newborn in tow. Which they haven't had in 70 years. Carlisle must be so disappointed in Edward; he's never messed up this badly before. And Bella's change wasn't even to save her. Edward killed her because he couldn't control himself. Even in Rosalie's case, Carlisle was trying to save her. Bella was healthy and fine. But Carlisle wouldn't let them kill her; I'd bet. Even though it would make things easier on all of them to kill her and destroy the body. She's their responsibility now and Carlisle has final say as head of their family. But to take on the responsibility of a newborn in the 21st century, where there is internet and satellite and cell phones and missing persons databases... Well, the risks are enormous and to have an upset and irrational newborn who wants to go back to her life and can't return to that old life without endangering her family, both human and vampire... well, that's going to make the Cullens very busy for the next few years as they help Bella adjust and come to terms with what happened to her. What will this mean for Edward and Bella, whom I realize aren't even a thing at this point? Wow, your one shot left me hungry for more, SavKelly! Thanks for sharing this one! :)
When Bella was changing, that blackness she described that crushed everything, all sound and pain and movement and her SELF... was that death trying to drag her under? She was having flashbacks of her life when this happened; sort of like what is described by some people when they die. But then the fire would return and the burning with it. Did the venom keep pulling her back into her body? Does anyone whose bitten ever not survive the change? I'd bet more than one of them (Jasper, Rose, and probably Emmett, didn't just kill her when Edward brought her back to the house screaming? Can you imagine? It's after school, another boring and ordinary day spent playing human in Forks, when Edward shows up, red eyed and frantic and carrying the screaming daughter of the Chief of Police, and all hell breaks loose. There goes their comfortable position within Forks. There goes Carlisle's job. Now they have to pack up and prepare to disappear, but with a newborn in tow. Which they haven't had in 70 years. Carlisle must be so disappointed in Edward; he's never messed up this badly before. And Bella's change wasn't even to save her. Edward killed her because he couldn't control himself. Even in Rosalie's case, Carlisle was trying to save her. Bella was healthy and fine. But Carlisle wouldn't let them kill her; I'd bet. Even though it would make things easier on all of them to kill her and destroy the body. She's their responsibility now and Carlisle has final say as head of their family. But to take on the responsibility of a newborn in the 21st century, where there is internet and satellite and cell phones and missing persons databases... Well, the risks are enormous and to have an upset and irrational newborn who wants to go back to her life and can't return to that old life without endangering her family, both human and vampire... well, that's going to make the Cullens very busy for the next few years as they help Bella adjust and come to terms with what happened to her. What will this mean for Edward and Bella, whom I realize aren't even a thing at this point? Wow, your one shot left me hungry for more, SavKelly! Thanks for sharing this one! :)
4/16/2022 c1 Willem
On a bright note, at least Bella doesn't have to beg Edward to change her this time around. That is one barrier removed and she can face him as an equal in their relationship once she gets past the newborn stage and gets over his lack of control. For all that she hates Jasper right now, he might end up being her best friend out of the whole bunch. He can relate better than the rest. He was attacked by Maria and still managed to be loyal to her for decades and even had a romantic relationship with her briefly. So it is possible to move on. And he understands Bella's rage; he can feel it. Bella would be fascinating in this fic. She never had time to grow to love Edward and the Cullens; she'd be more like Rosalie here, I suspect. She'd be facing the abrupt loss of her human life and dreams; she won't grow up, she won't have children, she can't have a career because she will always look 17 years old. She won't get to know Charlie; she'll probably forget a lot about him because she barely saw him growing up. She lost so much and did not have time to come to terms with that. I have no doubt she'll come to accept her new family, but it will take time to build those bonds and the level of trust that Bella had for them in canon. Edward especially is going to suffer the longest for this mess.
Excellent story, SavKelly!
On a bright note, at least Bella doesn't have to beg Edward to change her this time around. That is one barrier removed and she can face him as an equal in their relationship once she gets past the newborn stage and gets over his lack of control. For all that she hates Jasper right now, he might end up being her best friend out of the whole bunch. He can relate better than the rest. He was attacked by Maria and still managed to be loyal to her for decades and even had a romantic relationship with her briefly. So it is possible to move on. And he understands Bella's rage; he can feel it. Bella would be fascinating in this fic. She never had time to grow to love Edward and the Cullens; she'd be more like Rosalie here, I suspect. She'd be facing the abrupt loss of her human life and dreams; she won't grow up, she won't have children, she can't have a career because she will always look 17 years old. She won't get to know Charlie; she'll probably forget a lot about him because she barely saw him growing up. She lost so much and did not have time to come to terms with that. I have no doubt she'll come to accept her new family, but it will take time to build those bonds and the level of trust that Bella had for them in canon. Edward especially is going to suffer the longest for this mess.
Excellent story, SavKelly!
4/14/2022 c1 Guest
Emmett's father and brother's may have to keep a closer eye on him. He is a bit of an instigator and that will not help with an emotionally unregulated newborn in their home; one who is hyper sensitive to everything. I do like how Edward told Jasper to back off when he became concerned and Edward said she was managing, then two seconds later she tackled Emmett and tried to strangle him, proving Jasper right.
How did Carlisle manage all of these newborns without Jasper's expert assistance? How are they supposed to get Bella safely and quietly out of Forks without anyone noticing her since everyone is searching for the Police Chief's missing daughter? But they have to leave soon before the Quileutes suspect the Cullens are involved and the treaty has been broken.
Love your work!
Emmett's father and brother's may have to keep a closer eye on him. He is a bit of an instigator and that will not help with an emotionally unregulated newborn in their home; one who is hyper sensitive to everything. I do like how Edward told Jasper to back off when he became concerned and Edward said she was managing, then two seconds later she tackled Emmett and tried to strangle him, proving Jasper right.
How did Carlisle manage all of these newborns without Jasper's expert assistance? How are they supposed to get Bella safely and quietly out of Forks without anyone noticing her since everyone is searching for the Police Chief's missing daughter? But they have to leave soon before the Quileutes suspect the Cullens are involved and the treaty has been broken.
Love your work!
4/13/2022 c1 Blue Vision
"The corrupt doctor!" Lol! I couldn't stop laughing at that description! Loved it! And really, what else can Bella think? She's never even seen Carlisle or Esme before waking up. She saw the others at lunchtime, but that was brief. And now, with no reference for what these people are or what is happening to her, she hears Carlisle order the others to restrain her, to prolong her agony as she burns rather than seemingly help her and stop the pain, he brings her her first blood meal, he won't let her leave and plans to 'abduct' her away from Forks. Esme doesn't tell Jasper to let her go, just to be careful with her. Bella's new 'parents' don't present well in this fic where she is clueless and she has no idea they are trying so hard to protect her and take care of her along with the rest of their children. The fact that Carlisle starts her out on animal blood because he doesn't want her to live a safer life and not kill humans. Bella doesn't understand she can't return to Charlie and Renee and that her human life is over and that her only hope now is to be protected by the Cullens, whom she is lucky accept her as their responsibility. If they'd abandoned her after Edward bit her, the Quileutes would have killed her right away as a threat to the humans since she clearly can't control herself yet. But she has new parents who care and accept her as their youngest child. Not to forget that Edward has probably set back their romance by a few decades while she simmers at him. But at least Bella has new parents to protect her and keep her safe in the meantime.
Wow, this chaotic and rushed fic was so much freaking fun to read! Unruly Bella is now officially my favorite! Sav, thanks for letting us read this!
"The corrupt doctor!" Lol! I couldn't stop laughing at that description! Loved it! And really, what else can Bella think? She's never even seen Carlisle or Esme before waking up. She saw the others at lunchtime, but that was brief. And now, with no reference for what these people are or what is happening to her, she hears Carlisle order the others to restrain her, to prolong her agony as she burns rather than seemingly help her and stop the pain, he brings her her first blood meal, he won't let her leave and plans to 'abduct' her away from Forks. Esme doesn't tell Jasper to let her go, just to be careful with her. Bella's new 'parents' don't present well in this fic where she is clueless and she has no idea they are trying so hard to protect her and take care of her along with the rest of their children. The fact that Carlisle starts her out on animal blood because he doesn't want her to live a safer life and not kill humans. Bella doesn't understand she can't return to Charlie and Renee and that her human life is over and that her only hope now is to be protected by the Cullens, whom she is lucky accept her as their responsibility. If they'd abandoned her after Edward bit her, the Quileutes would have killed her right away as a threat to the humans since she clearly can't control herself yet. But she has new parents who care and accept her as their youngest child. Not to forget that Edward has probably set back their romance by a few decades while she simmers at him. But at least Bella has new parents to protect her and keep her safe in the meantime.
Wow, this chaotic and rushed fic was so much freaking fun to read! Unruly Bella is now officially my favorite! Sav, thanks for letting us read this!
4/10/2022 c1 Guest
Brilliant! Loved it when Bella took Emmett down! Why aren't Edward's eyes red? Yeah, they go black when they're hungry or having strong emotions, but shouldn't they be red for the next 6 months with Bella's blood? I think it takes about that long for the topaz color to come back after a slip up with human blood. And only if they stick to the vegetarian diet. Bella would've been angry when she realized his eyes were ruby red with HER blood. She'd be ready to throttle him again.
Great one shot! Thanks for sharing!
Brilliant! Loved it when Bella took Emmett down! Why aren't Edward's eyes red? Yeah, they go black when they're hungry or having strong emotions, but shouldn't they be red for the next 6 months with Bella's blood? I think it takes about that long for the topaz color to come back after a slip up with human blood. And only if they stick to the vegetarian diet. Bella would've been angry when she realized his eyes were ruby red with HER blood. She'd be ready to throttle him again.
Great one shot! Thanks for sharing!
4/9/2022 c1 PattyCakes
I gotta be honest; this was fantastic! Bella suddenly finding herself part of a supernatural world that she never believed existed outside of books and movies is outstanding. When she tackled Emmett I couldn't stop laughing; he is not used to be taken down and he has no experience being around a newborn seeing as he was the last one in the family. The idea that Bella is going to be a feisty handful for the family is so much better than perfect newborn Bella, who can be boring as her human counterpart in canon.
I read through the comments of your reviewers, which are astounding in how much they love this fic. The last reviewer's very valid points of your fic being chaotic and rushed are true; but my interpretation of those same facts are that the chaos and rushed nature add to the authenticity of your tale. Bella's life was far from settled; she'd only moved to Forks two days earlier and she'd only ever visited Charlie there for a few weeks at a time. Now she is ripped away from him in one chaotic, painful moment and has no idea what is happening to her as she turns. She doesn't have any reference for who the people are around her trying to stop her from hurting herself and get her through the change. The Cullens are rushed, too, as they pack up their home and prepare to leave school and Carlisle's job at the hospital and relocate to a remote area to take care of an unruly newborn. Another child to add to Carlisle and Esme's brood. Unlike in canon, none of them know Bella. Much how they didn't know Emmett, Rosalie, or Edward prior to their changes. Jasper and Alice were also strangers when they joined the family. Now they're forced to change their lives and names yet again, not to mention flee Forks before the Quileutes know they're involved in Bella's disappearance. So yes, the whole situation should be rushed and chaotic and I love it! There was no time to plan and prepare for Bella; she was just suddenly theirs. Especially Bella's threats and awakening and wrestling with the boys.
You left us wondering what next and how long before Bella loses her temper again in this first conversation with her new father and brothers and attacks Edward again. Super cliffhanger ending! Eternally wondering how they all learn to live with each other and take care of Bella. So, yes, I rather adore your chaotic and rushed story here. And even if the overarching idea has been explored before, I love your unique take on it as every author and story is different and enriching. That being said, I'm also a huge fan of Succubus, although I've never reviewed it, I read every installment you choose to write and post with excitement. Thank you for sharing all of your stories with us! We are all grateful!
I gotta be honest; this was fantastic! Bella suddenly finding herself part of a supernatural world that she never believed existed outside of books and movies is outstanding. When she tackled Emmett I couldn't stop laughing; he is not used to be taken down and he has no experience being around a newborn seeing as he was the last one in the family. The idea that Bella is going to be a feisty handful for the family is so much better than perfect newborn Bella, who can be boring as her human counterpart in canon.
I read through the comments of your reviewers, which are astounding in how much they love this fic. The last reviewer's very valid points of your fic being chaotic and rushed are true; but my interpretation of those same facts are that the chaos and rushed nature add to the authenticity of your tale. Bella's life was far from settled; she'd only moved to Forks two days earlier and she'd only ever visited Charlie there for a few weeks at a time. Now she is ripped away from him in one chaotic, painful moment and has no idea what is happening to her as she turns. She doesn't have any reference for who the people are around her trying to stop her from hurting herself and get her through the change. The Cullens are rushed, too, as they pack up their home and prepare to leave school and Carlisle's job at the hospital and relocate to a remote area to take care of an unruly newborn. Another child to add to Carlisle and Esme's brood. Unlike in canon, none of them know Bella. Much how they didn't know Emmett, Rosalie, or Edward prior to their changes. Jasper and Alice were also strangers when they joined the family. Now they're forced to change their lives and names yet again, not to mention flee Forks before the Quileutes know they're involved in Bella's disappearance. So yes, the whole situation should be rushed and chaotic and I love it! There was no time to plan and prepare for Bella; she was just suddenly theirs. Especially Bella's threats and awakening and wrestling with the boys.
You left us wondering what next and how long before Bella loses her temper again in this first conversation with her new father and brothers and attacks Edward again. Super cliffhanger ending! Eternally wondering how they all learn to live with each other and take care of Bella. So, yes, I rather adore your chaotic and rushed story here. And even if the overarching idea has been explored before, I love your unique take on it as every author and story is different and enriching. That being said, I'm also a huge fan of Succubus, although I've never reviewed it, I read every installment you choose to write and post with excitement. Thank you for sharing all of your stories with us! We are all grateful!
4/7/2022 c1 Guest
Same Concept:
s/7046967/1/Once-Bitten
s/4851491/3/La-Tua-Cantante
Yours felt rushed and chaotic.
Hope you update Succubus soon.
Same Concept:
s/7046967/1/Once-Bitten
s/4851491/3/La-Tua-Cantante
Yours felt rushed and chaotic.
Hope you update Succubus soon.
4/7/2022 c1 Guest
When Edward first brought Bella into their home, did some of them want to kill her? After all, Bella as a vampire is proof that they broke the treat with the Quileutes and they could be killed for that. Fleeing Forks is the only way to stop the Quileutes from learning what happened and they need to take Bella somewhere remote to control her. But how are they supposed to move an unwilling newborn? Bella isn't psychologially ready to leave her father and home. Her human life. This isn't real yet, I suspect. Maybe all the shouting Bella heard was Alice arguing with the others (Jazz and Rose, certainly). Alice probably had a vision that the dying girl in Edward's arms was going to be his mate someday. No wonder Carlisle wanted Edward to to feed her her first blood meal; she is his responsibility like Rosalie was his. He changed Rose and bore her wrath for decades; she seems to have forgiven him. Bella will need time to be angry at him before she can wrap her head around what Edward did to her. Unlike Carlisle, who did it to save Rose, Edward did it by accident, intending to kill Bella. Bad start to their relationship and she is so wild and snarly right now. Esme must be pleased though that she has a new daughter. Because Bella really is only 17 years old here; she still needs care and parents. Fallen in love with this story; deeply regret that I did as it is a one shot.
Anyway, thanks for posting!
When Edward first brought Bella into their home, did some of them want to kill her? After all, Bella as a vampire is proof that they broke the treat with the Quileutes and they could be killed for that. Fleeing Forks is the only way to stop the Quileutes from learning what happened and they need to take Bella somewhere remote to control her. But how are they supposed to move an unwilling newborn? Bella isn't psychologially ready to leave her father and home. Her human life. This isn't real yet, I suspect. Maybe all the shouting Bella heard was Alice arguing with the others (Jazz and Rose, certainly). Alice probably had a vision that the dying girl in Edward's arms was going to be his mate someday. No wonder Carlisle wanted Edward to to feed her her first blood meal; she is his responsibility like Rosalie was his. He changed Rose and bore her wrath for decades; she seems to have forgiven him. Bella will need time to be angry at him before she can wrap her head around what Edward did to her. Unlike Carlisle, who did it to save Rose, Edward did it by accident, intending to kill Bella. Bad start to their relationship and she is so wild and snarly right now. Esme must be pleased though that she has a new daughter. Because Bella really is only 17 years old here; she still needs care and parents. Fallen in love with this story; deeply regret that I did as it is a one shot.
Anyway, thanks for posting!