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for Ever Onward

6/1 c1 Hiding In Plain
5/16 c1 1BookOwl1701
While I'm sad to see the old version go, I'm really excited to see where your going to take the new one!
5/5 c1 BoarLord
Like the rest of your stories, this is going to be great
5/3 c1 6DFMRCV
Ah, waking up and automatically pointing a gun at someone... people do that?

Oh wait, he has nanomachines in his blood.


I know it's this is also the setting of Vallhalla, a game I really don't know that much about, or maybe it's just an exaggeration?

Just something that made me raise an eyebrow I guess.

Hangover stopping nanomachines, though... sounds useful and not necessarily out of place in a setting with holographic fairies and mechs.

Overall, the slightly revamped setting is interesting. Cyberpunk isn't really my thing, but I do like the descriptions here and the interactions feel fairly natural.

Well... if I had to be nitpicky, though, I will say that the moment where Hatch and Crawford bring up past scars felt a bit off? I guess it could be chalked up to Hatch having just downed a bottle of vodka but Crawford asks "what's stopping you now" and the response is "And then I lost everything".

It's almost as if a line was missing?

Other than that, nothing really comes to mind.

It's different from the previous version by a LOT, though not necessarily in a bad way.

I'm not turned off by the cyberpunk aesthetic... yet...
5/1 c1 1TheDarkAceOfSpades
Wait what happened to the original story?
4/29 c1 Pow
Yo, you are doing great mate. Keep it up! :)
4/29 c1 3AWACS Freeshipping
why do I feel like I read this before and you just reposted it?.. or I got some strange Deja Vu
4/28 c1 ThunderbladeN
An interesting start for a hopefully interesting story. I'll certainly be keeping my eye on this one, it's a nice change of pace from HWGA. I've always enjoyed a little world building, too.

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