for Ever Onward5/16 c1 
1BookOwl1701
While I'm sad to see the old version go, I'm really excited to see where your going to take the new one!
1BookOwl1701While I'm sad to see the old version go, I'm really excited to see where your going to take the new one!
5/5 c1 BoarLord
Like the rest of your stories, this is going to be great
Like the rest of your stories, this is going to be great
5/3 c1 6DFMRCV
Ah, waking up and automatically pointing a gun at someone... people do that?
Oh wait, he has nanomachines in his blood.
...what?
I know it's this is also the setting of Vallhalla, a game I really don't know that much about, or maybe it's just an exaggeration?
Just something that made me raise an eyebrow I guess.
Hangover stopping nanomachines, though... sounds useful and not necessarily out of place in a setting with holographic fairies and mechs.
Overall, the slightly revamped setting is interesting. Cyberpunk isn't really my thing, but I do like the descriptions here and the interactions feel fairly natural.
Well... if I had to be nitpicky, though, I will say that the moment where Hatch and Crawford bring up past scars felt a bit off? I guess it could be chalked up to Hatch having just downed a bottle of vodka but Crawford asks "what's stopping you now" and the response is "And then I lost everything".
It's almost as if a line was missing?
Other than that, nothing really comes to mind.
It's different from the previous version by a LOT, though not necessarily in a bad way.
I'm not turned off by the cyberpunk aesthetic... yet...
6DFMRCVAh, waking up and automatically pointing a gun at someone... people do that?
Oh wait, he has nanomachines in his blood.
...what?
I know it's this is also the setting of Vallhalla, a game I really don't know that much about, or maybe it's just an exaggeration?
Just something that made me raise an eyebrow I guess.
Hangover stopping nanomachines, though... sounds useful and not necessarily out of place in a setting with holographic fairies and mechs.
Overall, the slightly revamped setting is interesting. Cyberpunk isn't really my thing, but I do like the descriptions here and the interactions feel fairly natural.
Well... if I had to be nitpicky, though, I will say that the moment where Hatch and Crawford bring up past scars felt a bit off? I guess it could be chalked up to Hatch having just downed a bottle of vodka but Crawford asks "what's stopping you now" and the response is "And then I lost everything".
It's almost as if a line was missing?
Other than that, nothing really comes to mind.
It's different from the previous version by a LOT, though not necessarily in a bad way.
I'm not turned off by the cyberpunk aesthetic... yet...
4/29 c1 Pow
Yo, you are doing great mate. Keep it up! :)
Yo, you are doing great mate. Keep it up! :)
4/29 c1 3AWACS Freeshipping
why do I feel like I read this before and you just reposted it?.. or I got some strange Deja Vu
3AWACS Freeshippingwhy do I feel like I read this before and you just reposted it?.. or I got some strange Deja Vu
4/28 c1 ThunderbladeN
An interesting start for a hopefully interesting story. I'll certainly be keeping my eye on this one, it's a nice change of pace from HWGA. I've always enjoyed a little world building, too.
An interesting start for a hopefully interesting story. I'll certainly be keeping my eye on this one, it's a nice change of pace from HWGA. I've always enjoyed a little world building, too.