for Master of Dorne (A Rhoynish Dorne SI)3/29 c1 
3LordHadesinTartarus
So a couple of major problems right off the bat. This is in dire need of editing and basic proofing because it's full of mistakes and awkward dialogue. The Martells are sandy Dornishmen descended directly from Rhoynish royalty - so they never banned Rhoynish culture, language, etc. The Dornish in general are also loosely based on a combination of the Welsh and the Spanish, particularly the Spanish Moors; the Rhoynar, specifically, draw some measure of inspiration from Greece and Egypt, with a little bit of the Mediterranean Moorish cultures thrown in (Syria, Morocco, Algeria, etc.). The only place in the Martin-verse that draws any inspiration from China or Japan is Yi-Ti.
3LordHadesinTartarusSo a couple of major problems right off the bat. This is in dire need of editing and basic proofing because it's full of mistakes and awkward dialogue. The Martells are sandy Dornishmen descended directly from Rhoynish royalty - so they never banned Rhoynish culture, language, etc. The Dornish in general are also loosely based on a combination of the Welsh and the Spanish, particularly the Spanish Moors; the Rhoynar, specifically, draw some measure of inspiration from Greece and Egypt, with a little bit of the Mediterranean Moorish cultures thrown in (Syria, Morocco, Algeria, etc.). The only place in the Martin-verse that draws any inspiration from China or Japan is Yi-Ti.
8/13/2023 c21 The Black Cat 1843
Please let the MC have a love relationship with Visenya in his rewrite. Their dynamic was perfect in this story. They had a mutual respect.
Please let the MC have a love relationship with Visenya in his rewrite. Their dynamic was perfect in this story. They had a mutual respect.
5/15/2023 c20 Cain Dubois
A good book, but the author's sluggishness ruins any momentum this can really gain
A good book, but the author's sluggishness ruins any momentum this can really gain
4/30/2023 c20 Guest
Exijo más
Exijo más
4/30/2023 c19 Kornozor
Whattt using wildfire in battles on a ship thats constantly moving with waves dude there is a reason its name is wildfire and there is also a reason that is not used in warfare because its not sustainable to transport wildfire it burts into flames even on contact with heat and oxygen and your story use it in a job man good job just think about it. Why than everybodyu in westeros or the world doenst use this mass destruction weapon. a consistent story please
Whattt using wildfire in battles on a ship thats constantly moving with waves dude there is a reason its name is wildfire and there is also a reason that is not used in warfare because its not sustainable to transport wildfire it burts into flames even on contact with heat and oxygen and your story use it in a job man good job just think about it. Why than everybodyu in westeros or the world doenst use this mass destruction weapon. a consistent story please
4/30/2023 c20 Kornozor
Whattt using wildfire in battles on a ship tahts constantly moving with waves dude there is a reason its name is wildfire and there is also a reason that ist not used in warfsre because its not sustainable to transport wildfire it burts into flames even on contact with heat and oxygen and your story use it on job man good job just think about it just the hell than every boydy in westeros or the world doenst use this mass killer a consistent story
Whattt using wildfire in battles on a ship tahts constantly moving with waves dude there is a reason its name is wildfire and there is also a reason that ist not used in warfsre because its not sustainable to transport wildfire it burts into flames even on contact with heat and oxygen and your story use it on job man good job just think about it just the hell than every boydy in westeros or the world doenst use this mass killer a consistent story
4/12/2023 c1 What did I read
WTF did I just read?
What is this trash?
Habibi?!
Chinese names?!
The ONLY good comment I can say is atleast you loaded all this dumb shit in the first chapter, so I didn't waste time reading other chapters of this trash to find out how out of touch with ASOIAF it is.
WTF did I just read?
What is this trash?
Habibi?!
Chinese names?!
The ONLY good comment I can say is atleast you loaded all this dumb shit in the first chapter, so I didn't waste time reading other chapters of this trash to find out how out of touch with ASOIAF it is.
4/10/2023 c19 g0dgr1d
Thank you for the chapter, this fic deserves more reviews tho
Are you considering posting this to another site? I suggest webnovel lol kinda biased since I just started reading from that site
Too many toxic people like all the other site but it is the first time I read too many people consisting on making the fic a harem, but the features is better than ff .net. Hoping other people read your story. Thanks again for the chapter.
Thank you for the chapter, this fic deserves more reviews tho
Are you considering posting this to another site? I suggest webnovel lol kinda biased since I just started reading from that site
Too many toxic people like all the other site but it is the first time I read too many people consisting on making the fic a harem, but the features is better than ff .net. Hoping other people read your story. Thanks again for the chapter.
4/10/2023 c19 Guest
Un capítulo excelente la única queja que tengo es te demoras mucho en actualizar
Un capítulo excelente la única queja que tengo es te demoras mucho en actualizar