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for The Surviving Spouses

12/13/2022 c4 Guest
like the direction this seems to be going, but imo it feels like Nora's a bit too 1D, like she's fairly fleshed out, but its just that it seems like she never really does anything that Nate can't do; would be nice to see her using her skillset more, maybe like negotiations, public relations, lawyer-related stuff etc.

Feel like it might've been better to have Nora as the general too, b/c the public relations aspect I guess? Idk, it kinda falls back to the "Nate also has the experience b/c he lead soldiers" thing again.

Also agree with what a few others have said abt exposition, the monologuing isn't horrible, but imo its more the dialogue that leads to the monologuing feels really forced/stilted, where it feels like the character says something that just doesn't feel like it would come up in a casual conversation just so one of the characters can monologue and explain more. The worldbuilding provided via the monologues is really interesting imo, but I just feel like there might be a better way to achieve it without internally or externally monologuing.

Like, take the power armor fusion core explanation, instead of having all of it be in internal thoughts, maybe split it so the gist is in the story, while there's a more in-depth description in a little blurb in the AN for various lore-related points that you did worldbuilding for/have the idea for, but don't really fit into the story's "flow" all that well.
10/2/2022 c4 RedAlpha22
I love it when fics incorporate mods
10/1/2022 c4 PurportedGrey
I'm loving this story, I'm going through a my first fully modded run through of FO4 and the mod part of your story has me super excited to see what you mix into the story further down the line!
Keep up the great work because this can be one of the best Fallout fics!
8/31/2022 c4 blueassassin996
well its hopeful in the least, hope to see more chapters soon
8/20/2022 c4 Colt Cobra
While I like this fic so far, there's a few things I gotta say about it.

I feel like you're using Fallout 4 gameplay terminology too often. It feels less immersive, especially when this is in Nate's perspective. Like when he's explaining Power Armor in this chapter. It feels more like those Gamer fics.

Somewhat related to that, sometimes whenever Nate's explaining things, it can get a bit too exposition-y or too wordy.

Plus the scene with the raiders and the father and daughter seemed a bit much. Feels like it's played as merely shock value, and I'm not sure if it really contributes to the plot at all.

Other than those, I'd say I'm enjoying reading this fic
8/20/2022 c4 wstiglet
A great and large chapter! Thanks!
8/19/2022 c4 22edboy4926
Awesome chapter.
8/19/2022 c4 Br2nd66
ok the way he describes the fusion cores an overcharged one would make a suit into a 40k armor for short time
8/6/2022 c3 Guest
Vv
8/4/2022 c3 F4
I love that deathclaw kill. That's a unique idea. Also, it's like reading a script for an action movie. I like the idea of the Deathclaw pack lol
8/4/2022 c2 F4
I love how the detail you put into these chapters, but also how it's not too long or too short.
8/4/2022 c1 F4
Sweet opening.
8/3/2022 c3 wstiglet
I'm loving this. This has got to be one of the best Fallout stories Ive read. The velociraptor/deathclaw combat pack sounds amazing. Hopefully Nate upgrades Codsworth to be a mean killing machine and butler. A true Alfred robot lol.

You should make an Omake or 2 about the OP mods and stupid mods. Randy Savage Deathclaw and god mode ring. It'd be hilarious to see them react to that. Or the mini nuke mini gun.
8/2/2022 c1 18Hija de la Tempestad
OH. MY. GOD. This looks sosososososo promising! Lore-wise, pre-War multitask SoSu also multitask Spouse, YAS!
The mentions of Sleeper Program and General Chase being the one behind all the scheme? Consider me onboard.
Keep the GREAT, INTERESTING work!
8/1/2022 c3 Donbasos
Love this story. Also a nice flair going with the fusion core lore and Deathclaw kill. I also rwslly like that you keep both alive, as that is something barely seen. Some minor grammar and spelling mistakes (youin the beginningauthornoteand the double just in case) Looking forward to the next chapter!
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