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for Blue-Blooded Castle

5/25 c17 2Red Death
Two things:

The authors notes have to go, or at least be cut down immensely. There's nothing more disappointing to a reader to reach the end of a chapter but then see that there's up to 25 percent or so of the page left to scroll through... and none of it is story. Its just notes. Keep your notes brief; that's all that FFNet allows anyway. Huge chunks of notes are insulting to readers. When out of 54k words (at present) of your story turns out to be at least 8k of NOTES... that's a problem.

Also, the sections you have here in [ brackets ] need to either be removed or worked into the prose of the story. These are stage directions and descriptions, and this is a story, not a script.
5/25 c1 Red Death
I like this start, but you need a proofreader. You have more than a few instances where words are missing where they should be; it throws off the sentence/paragraph they are supposed to be in. Besides that, it's great!
4/24 c18 scorpio38457
great chapter. love all the different tie ins to other shows.
3/18 c18 4Commard
I always love your little history and geography tidbits. I really don't know how Beckett can save their relationship short of not taking the AG and taking a bullet for Rick.
3/18 c18 dan.lew.upg
Can't wait for more
3/18 c18 19wendykw
Alexis is a true interrogator in this chapter. It's been a while, so I think I'll have to reread more of the previous chapters to figure out why Alexis is so pissed at Kate. Thanks for the chapter.
3/18 c18 1WBH21C
SWEET! So glad to see more of this.
3/18 c18 JAG'ed Bones in the Casckett
always so glad to see a new chapter in this great story. I share Castle and I guess your opinion on the "lost generation". Bunch of self important judgmental no it all's who sat in judgment of everyone else. However Hemingway saw himself as an action hero. In truth he was what we now know as an adrenalin adduct and an alcoholic that emotionally abused the women in his life. Keep up the Great work!
2/10 c17 75pampilot67
I enjoy this story. I do think your explaining some of the lines you use more space than the story itself. Keep going looking for the next chapter. It 2am and my eyes are getting tired.
12/27/2023 c17 dan.lew.upg
cant wait for more
12/27/2023 c17 19wendykw
I remember the show Lie to Me & I was disappointed when it was canceled. Most of the other shows you have pulled characters from are shows I haven't seen, so thanks for added information about the characters you'll pulled from those shows.
The chat between Rick and Alexis helps provide more information about Rick's backstory, skills, and connections. So I appreciate that. This is a story that I look forward to the opportunity to reread it like it was a book. There's so many interlocking plot threads. Love it.
12/27/2023 c17 61Pen to Paper Writer
This was a good chapter overall. I am getting kind of tired of the Regina and Larry segments because, really, how much more dirt can he have on her? And Rick had taken care of her, so it's like beating a dead horse.

And on that note, Alexis and Rick's car ride must have gone around Manhattan 30 times by now. That, too, is getting to be stretched a little. I realize that both segments of the story have something to do with the end result, but...

I wonder how Kate is doing in Washington, DC, right about now?
12/26/2023 c17 JAG'ed Bones in the Casckett
I'm always so happy to see a new chapter from this amazingly detailed story. Please keep up the great work this is so enjoyable
12/26/2023 c17 c.rogers7761
Thank you for sharing another great chapter. I have missed your writing. Merry Christmas
12/26/2023 c17 3RCKBNFSK
I like how you are writing Alexis. She was smart, even sophisticated in canon, but she is so much more in your version. I like her "working" with her dad to reason things out!
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