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2/14 c1 Kyuubi88
Just wondering if your gunna come back to this or not i hope you do
1/9 c3 tvoight
at this point I would recommend getting a beta reader to proof read and make corrections the plot is fine but the way things are written leaves a lot to be desired
1/9 c2 tvoight
I've also noticed what seems to be a translation issue in chapter 1 around the part where your talking about the CRA specificallySo they are trying to convince me to have Naruto married to one of their daughters or to put in the CRA when he'd fifteen." between put and in should be a him and he'd should be he turns so it would readto put him in the CRA when he turns fifteen."
1/9 c1 tvoight
ok I'll admit this story isn't half bad. But you use way to many i's in your story and some of them are completely unnecessary. Such asi heard some splashing behind me and I turned around and saw Hinata smiling at me." that second i was not needed. this would of been betteri heard some splashing behind me and turned around and saw Hinata smiling at me."
11/21/2023 c9 Danirodriguez1995
Please continue with the story, it is very good. Don't give up, please, a story that truly has no comparison. I can tell you since I am a big fan of these types of stories and the truth is they have no comparison.
8/9/2023 c9 25Namikaze09
This whole story is Garbage I'm not impressed at all
7/28/2023 c8 Fenrir Ink
I don't like the fact Naruto is so easy going with telling people what his bloodline is and what it allows him to do but other than that the story ok
7/17/2023 c1 Guest
Is this story Dead
5/9/2023 c9 StrongGuy159
Cool story continue please.
5/4/2023 c1 Before2ndFinger
It's disappointing that u made haki a bloodline ability. Would have been cooler to see an another character utilise haki without any facy blood line or hashirama cells alas that's too much to ask. Also the whole things with shanks walking all over hokage doesn’t make sense. All in all cringe.
12/19/2022 c9 Borello
interesting work.
11/17/2022 c8 Borello
good work.
11/15/2022 c8 jeremiahkelley93
Great chapter.
11/10/2022 c1 Guest
Was gonna try to read, but I can't stand first person writing like this.
10/25/2022 c6 1Tylus
This was really rapey with how you had Hinata. Seriously Naruto said no so she should have backed off. I was even waiting for Naruto to beat the shit out Hinata for trying that
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