for Friends Close, Enemies Closer10/14/2022 c2 Lynnette Nolene
Wow! This chapter was so much more refined in terms of grammatical errors. The plot is definitely getting so much more intense and gripping. A little improvement note though, you could try to minimize and reduce the dialogue and perhaps try to improve the story plot. However, all in all, there is a lot of improvement from last time noticeable and the story is amazing. I love the conflict occurring between both sides too. Can't wait to read the next chapter and am really looking forward towards the next update :D
P.S. Let me know if my comments hurt you, I am so sorry since thats not my intentions and am just trying to provide some constructive criticism. Thanks and sorry :)
Wow! This chapter was so much more refined in terms of grammatical errors. The plot is definitely getting so much more intense and gripping. A little improvement note though, you could try to minimize and reduce the dialogue and perhaps try to improve the story plot. However, all in all, there is a lot of improvement from last time noticeable and the story is amazing. I love the conflict occurring between both sides too. Can't wait to read the next chapter and am really looking forward towards the next update :D
P.S. Let me know if my comments hurt you, I am so sorry since thats not my intentions and am just trying to provide some constructive criticism. Thanks and sorry :)
10/14/2022 c3 
8Don'tForgetThePincers
Amazingly written as always! I can't wait for the next chapter (as always)! :D
8Don'tForgetThePincersAmazingly written as always! I can't wait for the next chapter (as always)! :D
10/2/2022 c2 Don'tForgetThePincers
I loved this chapter, it was exciting and interesting to read! You had better grammar as well! I love this story! :)
I loved this chapter, it was exciting and interesting to read! You had better grammar as well! I love this story! :)
10/2/2022 c1 Guest
It's great!
I love the story!
Good job!
It's great!
I love the story!
Good job!
10/2/2022 c2 2Ana Dolohov
Hi! sorry for making the first chapter so confusing. I hope that the second one is better and makes u understand the story more
I just have a question as a new author... does anyone know how to fix the Error Type 1? It won't let me upload an image using the Image Manger
Thank you for all your reviews whether it is compliments or insults
I know my Grammar needs A LOT of practice and I hope it will get better as the story continues
Ana Dolohov
:)
2Ana DolohovHi! sorry for making the first chapter so confusing. I hope that the second one is better and makes u understand the story more
I just have a question as a new author... does anyone know how to fix the Error Type 1? It won't let me upload an image using the Image Manger
Thank you for all your reviews whether it is compliments or insults
I know my Grammar needs A LOT of practice and I hope it will get better as the story continues
Ana Dolohov
:)
10/1/2022 c1 Lynnette Nolene
Although the concept is fascinating, this chapter is confusing. Without rereading every paragraph, it is difficult to figure out who is saying or thinking what. The quotation marks are crucial and necessary to help with that. Overall, a little editing wouldn't hurt. For this, I would recommend you to re-read it out loud and try to fix what may not sound right to make the story more concise for the readers. However, its a great story and I love the overall plot. (BTW I too ship Dramione and I hate Romione XD)
Although the concept is fascinating, this chapter is confusing. Without rereading every paragraph, it is difficult to figure out who is saying or thinking what. The quotation marks are crucial and necessary to help with that. Overall, a little editing wouldn't hurt. For this, I would recommend you to re-read it out loud and try to fix what may not sound right to make the story more concise for the readers. However, its a great story and I love the overall plot. (BTW I too ship Dramione and I hate Romione XD)
10/1/2022 c1 Nicola Darian
For the first chapter, its great! It has an amazing plot and is quite intriguing, can't wait for the next chapter..!
For the first chapter, its great! It has an amazing plot and is quite intriguing, can't wait for the next chapter..!
10/1/2022 c1 Arjuna
gd story
gd story
10/1/2022 c1 Guest
The premise is interesting but this chapter is all over the place. It is hard to understand who is talking / thinking without reading every paragraph twice. ” ” are important in that regard.
It is a bit better towards the end, but I still have a hard time picturing people having whole conversations / arguments with Pansy dying in front of them.
I reckon they would focus on healing her first. Even Harry and Ron would not let someone die just so they could scream, not to mention Malfoy and Nott are supposed to care about her but she is little more than an afterthought, while they banter with Hermione.
All in all, a little finetuning would not go amiss.
The premise is interesting but this chapter is all over the place. It is hard to understand who is talking / thinking without reading every paragraph twice. ” ” are important in that regard.
It is a bit better towards the end, but I still have a hard time picturing people having whole conversations / arguments with Pansy dying in front of them.
I reckon they would focus on healing her first. Even Harry and Ron would not let someone die just so they could scream, not to mention Malfoy and Nott are supposed to care about her but she is little more than an afterthought, while they banter with Hermione.
All in all, a little finetuning would not go amiss.
10/1/2022 c1 Nicola Darian
For the first chapter, it has a great plot and is quite intriguing. Cant wait to read the next chapter...
For the first chapter, it has a great plot and is quite intriguing. Cant wait to read the next chapter...
10/1/2022 c1 2Ana Dolohov
So shoutout to Don'tForgetThePincers thank u so much :) for helping me out and for being the first one to comment on my coded story :))
Ana Dolohov
:)
2Ana DolohovSo shoutout to Don'tForgetThePincers thank u so much :) for helping me out and for being the first one to comment on my coded story :))
Ana Dolohov
:)