for Convergence of Fates23h c1 Nimbus2023
I like the premise of Harry going back in time to redo his life but I am severely unhappy that he went all the way back to his first year. I get it, he can change everything but it also means that we will have to read from the perspective of a prepubescent brat acting like an adult and try to fool ourselves into believing that his character is in anyway realistic.
I don't know how many of these types of stories I've read where a super mature Harry goes through the first year gaining a following of his peers who look to him like he's the second coming impressing them with his vast knowledge of magic. I imagine he'll set Ron right with a proper lecture explaining why he shouldn't be so mean or some such and impress upon him how important it is to study. I'll also bet he'll take Neville under his wing after insisting he gets himself his own wand, all the while doling out encouragement to groom him into the leader Harry knows that he can be. It is also a safe bet that during every action sequence Harry will hold back to hide how much magic he can do so nobody gets suspicious. I am hoping Harry doesn't run headlong into every major canon event when he already knows the outcome, for instance, there is no reason to pursue Quirrell when he goes after the stone a simple owl to Dumbledore would suffice. I also hope this story isn't like most others who rarely if ever make it past the first task of the Triwizard Tournament.
On a positive note, I can respect how you wrote this chapter. It would have been so easy for you to just copy-and-paste it directly from DH but you put in the time and effort to rewrite the scene where Harry goes into the forest and make it your own, so kudos for that.
I like the premise of Harry going back in time to redo his life but I am severely unhappy that he went all the way back to his first year. I get it, he can change everything but it also means that we will have to read from the perspective of a prepubescent brat acting like an adult and try to fool ourselves into believing that his character is in anyway realistic.
I don't know how many of these types of stories I've read where a super mature Harry goes through the first year gaining a following of his peers who look to him like he's the second coming impressing them with his vast knowledge of magic. I imagine he'll set Ron right with a proper lecture explaining why he shouldn't be so mean or some such and impress upon him how important it is to study. I'll also bet he'll take Neville under his wing after insisting he gets himself his own wand, all the while doling out encouragement to groom him into the leader Harry knows that he can be. It is also a safe bet that during every action sequence Harry will hold back to hide how much magic he can do so nobody gets suspicious. I am hoping Harry doesn't run headlong into every major canon event when he already knows the outcome, for instance, there is no reason to pursue Quirrell when he goes after the stone a simple owl to Dumbledore would suffice. I also hope this story isn't like most others who rarely if ever make it past the first task of the Triwizard Tournament.
On a positive note, I can respect how you wrote this chapter. It would have been so easy for you to just copy-and-paste it directly from DH but you put in the time and effort to rewrite the scene where Harry goes into the forest and make it your own, so kudos for that.
4/18 c7 Shizkane
I really hoep that Juno is well educated by aracturus black and so she might share some idelogybwith her family but not be bad as her parent and bully draco because is esay amd his an entiltled prick... This may be the beggining of the Bronce trio (hopefully wishing)
I really hoep that Juno is well educated by aracturus black and so she might share some idelogybwith her family but not be bad as her parent and bully draco because is esay amd his an entiltled prick... This may be the beggining of the Bronce trio (hopefully wishing)
4/18 c6 Shizkane
You know, you introduce so many oc that i have no idea of with whom harry will be pair up eventually... i'm really liking it so far.
You know, you introduce so many oc that i have no idea of with whom harry will be pair up eventually... i'm really liking it so far.
4/16 c44 subix
Harry should be already throwing lethal spells, less enemies every time.
Harry should be already throwing lethal spells, less enemies every time.
4/15 c44 
3Scabbers1957
This is an Epic story, I'll add it to my story favorites and alerts to see what happens next.
:))
3Scabbers1957This is an Epic story, I'll add it to my story favorites and alerts to see what happens next.
:))
4/14 c44 Corrections
Eros' - Eros's
up his gills - up to his gills
greater required than something - greater than required for something
Fawkes' - Fawkes's
had they sworn - had he sworn
"Thank God", Andromeda chuckled.
(Andromeda's a pureblood. Shouldn't this be Thank Merlin?)
Included erasure - Including erasure
Norris' - Norris's
Tonks' - Tonks's
Eros' - Eros's
up his gills - up to his gills
greater required than something - greater than required for something
Fawkes' - Fawkes's
had they sworn - had he sworn
"Thank God", Andromeda chuckled.
(Andromeda's a pureblood. Shouldn't this be Thank Merlin?)
Included erasure - Including erasure
Norris' - Norris's
Tonks' - Tonks's
4/14 c42 Corrections
Aside from Woods - Aside from Wood
that once - once
(or)
that once - that one time
spells and slow - spells and make them slow
green ran thickest - greed ran thickest
Also you're missing an apostrophe before Tryhard in the author's note.
Aside from Woods - Aside from Wood
that once - once
(or)
that once - that one time
spells and slow - spells and make them slow
green ran thickest - greed ran thickest
Also you're missing an apostrophe before Tryhard in the author's note.
4/14 c41 Corrections
fair or unfairness - fairness or unfairness
Tonks' - Tonks's
Metamorph - Metamorphmagus
this was hardly - this hardly
useful or it would - useful or if it would
fair or unfairness - fairness or unfairness
Tonks' - Tonks's
Metamorph - Metamorphmagus
this was hardly - this hardly
useful or it would - useful or if it would
4/14 c40 Corrections
wand cluttered - wand clattered
Perhaps Albus had - Perhaps Albus should have
(Or else complete the fragment at the end with something like 'then things would have been different')
wand cluttered - wand clattered
Perhaps Albus had - Perhaps Albus should have
(Or else complete the fragment at the end with something like 'then things would have been different')
4/13 c39 Corrections
it were a day - it were day
and-possible-success - and-possibly-success
it were a day - it were day
and-possible-success - and-possibly-success
4/13 c38 Corrections
Maziology - Magizoology
scummy, even when - scummy when
keep with your crazy - keep up with your crazy
again once more - once more
basilisk movement in the bathroom beside - basilisk, nor movement in the bathroom besides
from his wands - from his wand
disorient him - disorient it
(or her, given the previous 'Queen' comment by Nyx)
Maziology - Magizoology
scummy, even when - scummy when
keep with your crazy - keep up with your crazy
again once more - once more
basilisk movement in the bathroom beside - basilisk, nor movement in the bathroom besides
from his wands - from his wand
disorient him - disorient it
(or her, given the previous 'Queen' comment by Nyx)
4/13 c37 Corrections
and he has a fight - and he had a fight
he could even trust Dumbledore - he could ever trust Dumbledore
Greengrass' - Greengrass's
that Woods has - that Wood has
started tickling through - started trickling through
Rodulphus and Bellatrix later on. - Rodulphus and Bellatrix.
fewer families - few families
Albus' - Albus's
and he has a fight - and he had a fight
he could even trust Dumbledore - he could ever trust Dumbledore
Greengrass' - Greengrass's
that Woods has - that Wood has
started tickling through - started trickling through
Rodulphus and Bellatrix later on. - Rodulphus and Bellatrix.
fewer families - few families
Albus' - Albus's
4/13 c2 csheila
Nicely done with the changes. Harry needs to think about escaping the Dursleys. What about a trunk?
Nicely done with the changes. Harry needs to think about escaping the Dursleys. What about a trunk?