for Dreams of Home5/16 c78 NuitsNarratives
Harry might love her, but seriously after just abandoning him this many times, Elaina has proven to either be overly gullible or just another Bellatrix who only follows those who can teach her the most, which is why she was a Slytherin.
And Harry just proved that the Potters training is more intensive and faster than whatever trash she was learning with Gellert and she still didn't want to go back to the man she allegedly loves. So she clearly doesn't love Harry, or she's gullible enough that even IF she goes back to him and helps defeat Voldemort that she'll just fucking leave him again.
Harry taught her what she needed to better survive the snake pit as someone with questionable blood, and she sponged it all up. Then she absorbed everything she could from Charlus and Dorea... and now she's learning from dear old Dad who was arguably even better than the Potters and Blacks.
And her entire reasoning is alleged visions... from a girl who wasn't taking Divination. She can't actually know for sure what Gellert showed her was real, or just what he wanted her to see to convince her to stay with him.
Elaina has chosen her bed.. and Harry never had a chance of being in it as her partner. He was just another tool to her...
Harry might love her, but seriously after just abandoning him this many times, Elaina has proven to either be overly gullible or just another Bellatrix who only follows those who can teach her the most, which is why she was a Slytherin.
And Harry just proved that the Potters training is more intensive and faster than whatever trash she was learning with Gellert and she still didn't want to go back to the man she allegedly loves. So she clearly doesn't love Harry, or she's gullible enough that even IF she goes back to him and helps defeat Voldemort that she'll just fucking leave him again.
Harry taught her what she needed to better survive the snake pit as someone with questionable blood, and she sponged it all up. Then she absorbed everything she could from Charlus and Dorea... and now she's learning from dear old Dad who was arguably even better than the Potters and Blacks.
And her entire reasoning is alleged visions... from a girl who wasn't taking Divination. She can't actually know for sure what Gellert showed her was real, or just what he wanted her to see to convince her to stay with him.
Elaina has chosen her bed.. and Harry never had a chance of being in it as her partner. He was just another tool to her...
5/12 c64 kblankenship1025
The reasoning for the fight could’ve been better. And the fight, James got dismantled and is supposedly a prodigy in transfiguration. Wayy too meh
The reasoning for the fight could’ve been better. And the fight, James got dismantled and is supposedly a prodigy in transfiguration. Wayy too meh
5/11 c49 kblankenship1025
This is more than a step above the Potter Alliance. This is phenomel! Elaina is possibly my favorite OC of all time. The varying amounts of emotional maturity is quite unique in this story
This is more than a step above the Potter Alliance. This is phenomel! Elaina is possibly my favorite OC of all time. The varying amounts of emotional maturity is quite unique in this story
5/11 c28 kblankenship1025
The undertones are much more narrow in this story. Your earlier ones were all sunshine and rainbows.
The undertones are much more narrow in this story. Your earlier ones were all sunshine and rainbows.
5/10 c1 Kapplo
Drama part of the story is too forced and stale, every chapter starts with a nightmare and I forgot how many times you describe the same scene of someone calling to Harry and Harry not hearing it while staring at somewhere, I get that you are emphasizing that he is traumatized but as a reader we can understand that without telling the same thing to us 20 times, either show us the progression of him dealing with his trauma or consequences of not dealing with it and shutting it down. It's tiring to read a story where you show us a problem very early on and Mc having zero progression dealing with that problem
Drama part of the story is too forced and stale, every chapter starts with a nightmare and I forgot how many times you describe the same scene of someone calling to Harry and Harry not hearing it while staring at somewhere, I get that you are emphasizing that he is traumatized but as a reader we can understand that without telling the same thing to us 20 times, either show us the progression of him dealing with his trauma or consequences of not dealing with it and shutting it down. It's tiring to read a story where you show us a problem very early on and Mc having zero progression dealing with that problem
5/8 c77 Stickman6969
Great story! A refreshing take on the “goes back in time” trope. While powered up compared to before, Harry doesn’t seem like a sure win in every encounter. Also love that this story extends beyond graduation. Keep up the good work and I can’t wait to read more!
Great story! A refreshing take on the “goes back in time” trope. While powered up compared to before, Harry doesn’t seem like a sure win in every encounter. Also love that this story extends beyond graduation. Keep up the good work and I can’t wait to read more!
5/6 c77 amortentiate
Why give away one of Harry's aces to Voldy? Why throw further obstacles in his path? Canoncially, Voldy was interested only for the Death Stick. He really didn't give a toss about the stone or the cloak.
Harry and Co need to ramp up the strikes. Don't give the bad guys any breathing time.
Cheers
Why give away one of Harry's aces to Voldy? Why throw further obstacles in his path? Canoncially, Voldy was interested only for the Death Stick. He really didn't give a toss about the stone or the cloak.
Harry and Co need to ramp up the strikes. Don't give the bad guys any breathing time.
Cheers
5/6 c77 
17griffin blackwood
The pacing is so good! not surprised at all that Dumbledore is putting in the shaming for not letting “innocents” get caught in the crossfire. While Mrs Yaxley was likely innocent in this case, its not always the case
17griffin blackwoodThe pacing is so good! not surprised at all that Dumbledore is putting in the shaming for not letting “innocents” get caught in the crossfire. While Mrs Yaxley was likely innocent in this case, its not always the case