for Gacha, The Meaning of Heroism, and The Spirit of Hindsight9/21 c92 Some Powerfull Random Guy
Huh, this story is pretty great, if a bit repetitive looking in some parts with Jaune's... Jauneness. Just finished binge reading it over a few days, hope to see it continued soon. Kinda surprised that you only have 250 reviews so far but I guess that's just these days, you putting this in any other sites? Regardless, hope you keep up the good work!
Huh, this story is pretty great, if a bit repetitive looking in some parts with Jaune's... Jauneness. Just finished binge reading it over a few days, hope to see it continued soon. Kinda surprised that you only have 250 reviews so far but I guess that's just these days, you putting this in any other sites? Regardless, hope you keep up the good work!
9/5 c3 
4Rotten Sarcophagus
"how did one master a head?" well... uhh.
umm
you are too young for that! ask your mother!
4Rotten Sarcophagus"how did one master a head?" well... uhh.
umm
you are too young for that! ask your mother!
8/28 c92 Ryan
Damn I hope everything is alright with you. You have been gone for a while.
Damn I hope everything is alright with you. You have been gone for a while.
6/12 c92 Ryan
Oh. I actually meant to say “stories like this one” instead of positive.
Oh. I actually meant to say “stories like this one” instead of positive.
6/12 c92 Ryan
I actually appreciate the story for how it is. Too many stories just don’t let their protagonist win. How everything they do will mean nothing because the bad guys just get away with anything despite the protagonist being more prepared than Batman. Seeing the Jaune succeed because of his skill and abilities and technology and preparation is just so satisfying. For once, the character is making a real impact with on the world and it’s for the better. I love the uplift, I love the advancement of technology and its societal impact. This is my go to story when I have to trudge though the endless amounts of bad fics. This story is unique in that it is just a purely positive story. And if anyone even say something like “oh but I see too many positive stories and barely any negative stories” LIST THEM THEN! What stories are you reading huh!? Simply put, great work author. Can’t wait for the next chapter. I hope you are in good health.
I actually appreciate the story for how it is. Too many stories just don’t let their protagonist win. How everything they do will mean nothing because the bad guys just get away with anything despite the protagonist being more prepared than Batman. Seeing the Jaune succeed because of his skill and abilities and technology and preparation is just so satisfying. For once, the character is making a real impact with on the world and it’s for the better. I love the uplift, I love the advancement of technology and its societal impact. This is my go to story when I have to trudge though the endless amounts of bad fics. This story is unique in that it is just a purely positive story. And if anyone even say something like “oh but I see too many positive stories and barely any negative stories” LIST THEM THEN! What stories are you reading huh!? Simply put, great work author. Can’t wait for the next chapter. I hope you are in good health.
6/10 c92 DarkRose
I like this except that I feel like there are hardly any actual moments of loss for the protagonist. For example, I felt no emotion after Jaune discovered that his multi-fabricator got nabbed and got turned into a weapon, and all energy I get from Jaune at most is he is annoyed. Maybe it's me having missed something but that is the energy I'm getting.
If I'm not mistaken then you need to add real moments of loss because it's when the protagonist(Jaune) rises from these dark moments that we root for the hero. While I like all the scenes of basically going Fix-it on the world by Jaune I feel it starts to feel bland after a while.
The last thing, if I'm not mistaken, and as said in your introduction 'Volume 8 and Jaune fell to the void'. It feels like MentorJaune should have recognized the plot for nabbing the multifab or maybe strung the knowledge after a while because he is older and did experience his own life in his universe and while this is AU, it would still be close enough to make assumptions. Maybe Im wrong but it seems to me that way.
In summary, MentorSpiritJaune isn't doing enough as a supporting character as he isn't living to his full potential as a character and you need more moments of loss. While I appreciate a good happy fic here and there, that doesn't make for a story inside RWBY, and from what it seems to be that the themes are basically Emiya from the Fate series and so for a hero to become a hero 'they must rise after being knocked down'. The only issue is that events that are supposed to knock them down do not feel heavy enough for me as a reader.
Again, I might be wrong and take this review as me saying I like this fic but as an avid reader, I do wish that the story becomes a more cohesive whole. Not only for my enjoyment but for you author as you are making literature.
Please take this review in good faith and not come off as me being hateful about your story and its themes.
I like this except that I feel like there are hardly any actual moments of loss for the protagonist. For example, I felt no emotion after Jaune discovered that his multi-fabricator got nabbed and got turned into a weapon, and all energy I get from Jaune at most is he is annoyed. Maybe it's me having missed something but that is the energy I'm getting.
If I'm not mistaken then you need to add real moments of loss because it's when the protagonist(Jaune) rises from these dark moments that we root for the hero. While I like all the scenes of basically going Fix-it on the world by Jaune I feel it starts to feel bland after a while.
The last thing, if I'm not mistaken, and as said in your introduction 'Volume 8 and Jaune fell to the void'. It feels like MentorJaune should have recognized the plot for nabbing the multifab or maybe strung the knowledge after a while because he is older and did experience his own life in his universe and while this is AU, it would still be close enough to make assumptions. Maybe Im wrong but it seems to me that way.
In summary, MentorSpiritJaune isn't doing enough as a supporting character as he isn't living to his full potential as a character and you need more moments of loss. While I appreciate a good happy fic here and there, that doesn't make for a story inside RWBY, and from what it seems to be that the themes are basically Emiya from the Fate series and so for a hero to become a hero 'they must rise after being knocked down'. The only issue is that events that are supposed to knock them down do not feel heavy enough for me as a reader.
Again, I might be wrong and take this review as me saying I like this fic but as an avid reader, I do wish that the story becomes a more cohesive whole. Not only for my enjoyment but for you author as you are making literature.
Please take this review in good faith and not come off as me being hateful about your story and its themes.
5/24 c1 Guest
This is so awesome!
This is so awesome!
5/20 c36 Guest
rofl that that past was so badly written xD
rofl that that past was so badly written xD
5/20 c1 Guest
my god this sucks
my god this sucks
5/12 c92 Guest
Great chapter! Cant wait for more from you!
Great chapter! Cant wait for more from you!
5/6 c92 Not Ryan
Is everything alright? You haven’t uploaded in a while and you use to update everyday.
Is everything alright? You haven’t uploaded in a while and you use to update everyday.