for the fate worlds reaction to ren vs reinhard6/3/2023 c3 ExcaliberShooter
Hm... still need to improved upon.
I say the transitions between text and character dialogue is better bjt but needs some more utilizing and optimized. As well as clear transition between sections. It's very confusing trying to read going down and I can't understand what is going on especially in such small paragraphs which change settings and perspectives without me recognizing it. That needs improvements.
Hm... still need to improved upon.
I say the transitions between text and character dialogue is better bjt but needs some more utilizing and optimized. As well as clear transition between sections. It's very confusing trying to read going down and I can't understand what is going on especially in such small paragraphs which change settings and perspectives without me recognizing it. That needs improvements.
6/3/2023 c2 ExcaliberShooter
Okay... yeah this chapter and the one before it needs to be reworked on. The passages are oddly written and the way they are conveyed to the reader is very confusing. It seems like it's supposed to be in first person but yet for some reason off putting as if they know everything about the situation and yet there is no established context of how they know that. Like nothing about the setting which they have been made aware by either themselves investigating or other people.
And the dialogue and choice of words is very strange to. Like seriously what is with Rin's response to there being a potential Ww2 National Socialist German official still being alive? She should know many Mages from Ww2 even on the Axis alliance powers are still able to live in the present day of the early 2000s in Vaye reality. Very strange response to that information especially from someone like her who knows how the Mages Association operates.
Okay... yeah this chapter and the one before it needs to be reworked on. The passages are oddly written and the way they are conveyed to the reader is very confusing. It seems like it's supposed to be in first person but yet for some reason off putting as if they know everything about the situation and yet there is no established context of how they know that. Like nothing about the setting which they have been made aware by either themselves investigating or other people.
And the dialogue and choice of words is very strange to. Like seriously what is with Rin's response to there being a potential Ww2 National Socialist German official still being alive? She should know many Mages from Ww2 even on the Axis alliance powers are still able to live in the present day of the early 2000s in Vaye reality. Very strange response to that information especially from someone like her who knows how the Mages Association operates.
6/3/2023 c1 ExcaliberShooter
This is going to need a established narrative, plot, and a narration. You should do a third person perspective narration and/or improve upon your first person perspective narration and adapt it appropriately for establishing what characters see and displaying their perception to the reader. Also is this supposed to be a reaction fanfiction or not? If it supposed to be one you can look upon a few reaction stories which are out there in fanfiction, ao3, and wattpad.
Remember as you adapt this story you are going to need a supporting bases and a stable foundation for the whole story. And it needs a direction and parameter of rules while progressing.
This is going to need a established narrative, plot, and a narration. You should do a third person perspective narration and/or improve upon your first person perspective narration and adapt it appropriately for establishing what characters see and displaying their perception to the reader. Also is this supposed to be a reaction fanfiction or not? If it supposed to be one you can look upon a few reaction stories which are out there in fanfiction, ao3, and wattpad.
Remember as you adapt this story you are going to need a supporting bases and a stable foundation for the whole story. And it needs a direction and parameter of rules while progressing.
2/1/2023 c1 Guest
Punctuation exist for a reason, idk if you know
Punctuation exist for a reason, idk if you know
111/28/2023 c2 xxOblivionxxx
Well Hadou gods are so above any entity in fate it is even a contest, you can put every being, including space ishtar and all other powerhouses of fate verse, they would still die just by the colateral damage of a fight between hadou gods.
Hell in Rea's route in the start of the battle Reinhard crushed a uncountable amount of Mercurius Universes just by flexing his spiritual pressure, Mercurius compressing the Multiverse and so on of crazy shit.
Well Hadou gods are so above any entity in fate it is even a contest, you can put every being, including space ishtar and all other powerhouses of fate verse, they would still die just by the colateral damage of a fight between hadou gods.
Hell in Rea's route in the start of the battle Reinhard crushed a uncountable amount of Mercurius Universes just by flexing his spiritual pressure, Mercurius compressing the Multiverse and so on of crazy shit.
1/27/2023 c1 Zarathustra ubermensch
I'm going to be a shinza fanfic creator I want this series to be more mainstream so first I have to build and audience I need all who read this to seek out dies irae the common route is free on steam the others are locked behind a paywall so please check it out .
ps it goes common-kasumi-kei-marie(cannon route)-rea(the what if route)
I'm going to be a shinza fanfic creator I want this series to be more mainstream so first I have to build and audience I need all who read this to seek out dies irae the common route is free on steam the others are locked behind a paywall so please check it out .
ps it goes common-kasumi-kei-marie(cannon route)-rea(the what if route)