for Swimming Pool Hijinks2/7 c1 
2k+Hawki
-"It was a beautiful day, and the perfect day for swimming."
This reads awkwardly, primiarly because you have "day" repeated twice. I'd recommend something like "It was a beautiful day, perfect for swimming." Says the same thing with less words.
-Concerning the piece itself...it's good, in as much that it's good at doing what it sets out to do (in other words, what Heart said). Certainly succeeds on the sensual level for instance.
2k+Hawki-"It was a beautiful day, and the perfect day for swimming."
This reads awkwardly, primiarly because you have "day" repeated twice. I'd recommend something like "It was a beautiful day, perfect for swimming." Says the same thing with less words.
-Concerning the piece itself...it's good, in as much that it's good at doing what it sets out to do (in other words, what Heart said). Certainly succeeds on the sensual level for instance.
2/3 c1 4Heart of the Demons
This one-shot is so majorly hot. Thank you so much for making it absolutely fluid.
4Heart of the DemonsThis one-shot is so majorly hot. Thank you so much for making it absolutely fluid.